52 Gorillaz: Humanz

~ Lex Leeson ~ 1 Comment

Great Artists Steal. So Does Damon Albarn

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Wow, well this is pretty shameless, isn’t it?

Damon Albarn and That Other One were obviously struggling for ideas for the band’s fourth (proper) album, evidenced by the seven years it took them to follow up 2010’s ‘Plastic Beach’ (an album I really loved for about four months then forgot all about), so were forced to instead crib inspiration from perhaps the most artistically provocative writers of their time.

(Do I need to say that it took seven years and then state further that ‘Plastic Beach’ was released in 2010? Seems like a waste of words. In fact, if you include this little parenthesised section here, the addition of the conformation of the year two thousand and ten has added an  entirely unnecessary one hundred and nine words to this piece!! In retrospect, probably unnecessary. Unfortunately, I don’t think there’s any way to remove or obliterate anything you’ve written- to ‘delete’ it, if you will- so it has to stay in. Let me know of any potential solutions in the comments. Should I write the whole entry again?)

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53 Tove Lo: Blue Lips (Lady Wood phase II)

~ Lex Leeson ~ 4 Comments

Not Fully Charged, Nipples not Hard, Not Ready to Go

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Mmmm….

Eeesh…

I…

Sigh…

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This isn’t a great album. Like, at all. It’s by no means a bad album, and Tove Lo is far too talented an artist to allow anything close to a duff be released under her name, but this ended up being one of the more sadly disappointing releases of (kayfabe) this year.

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54 Queens of the Stone Age: Villians

~ Lex Leeson ~ 3 Comments

My Strawberry Bond

To be honest, QoTSA’s 267th album was very close to being shaved off this list, it was one of the many 2017 releases that I figured might not quite have enough legitimate quality and noteworthy talking points to justify a place on (kayfabe) this year’s list. I worried that there weren’t really a massive amount of memorable moments, or that its bracing voodoo rock might not have really stand up to the best moments of their (admittedly colossal) back catalogue. In the end though, I felt that I earned it to the band to award them an invite to the party, chiefly for one small and ever so slightly embarrassing reason:

Josh Homme is the world’s coolest ginger.

 

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55 Amanda Palmer & Edward Ka-Spel: I Can Spin a Rainbow

~ Lex Leeson ~ 4 Comments

A Vanity Projection of all Seven Colours

What are the best things? Like, what is the stuff you really like best?

The good stuff, right? The things that are are generally of superior quality, the things that are made up of such unarguable value that their very existence seems to increase the very worth of your being even just an iota. The things that are either useful or beautiful.

Some people say they like bad stuff. They’ll swear that they definitely see quality or usefulness in the music of Phil Collins, eating non-magic mushrooms, the films of Adam Sandler, fascism, and organic food*. These people may often claim ‘irony’, but that’s only because they don’t understand what ‘irony’ means. But these people don’t actually like bad things because they’re bad, they secretly like them because they’re too stupid to realise that they’re bad, and actually think they’re good. These people are absolute idiots, potentially dangerous, and should be disregarded in any serious debate.

There’s stuff that tries to  be bad- your Sharknados, your Donald Trumps**, your Blink 182s. This is the bottom of the barrel, merely a celebration of renouncing ambition and lowering expectation. These things, and the people who like them, are just celebrating nihilism rather than anarchy. These people are absolute idiots, potentially dangerous, and should be disregarded in any serious debate.

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56 Young M.A: Herstory

~ Lex Leeson ~ 17 Comments

Old A.P Loves Young M.A

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I always appreciate cultural recommendations: if you mention a song, album, movie, TV show or wrestling match you think I’d like, or simply something that you really like yourself, I will always afford it close consideration. I once watched a fricking eleven hour movie in freaking Korean (the lamestream media claim it’s only 2 hours 36 minutes, but it’s definitely eleven hours! #FakeNews) and an entire TV series about American football just because a friend suggested I do so. If someone is really interested in something, it’s always worth investigating. Chiefly for the following reasons:

(Bwa-ha-ha! That should ensure they click the ‘read more’ link!! #Clickbait)

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59 Taylor Swift: Reputation

~ Lex Leeson ~ 12 Comments

OK, Christ, I’ll try and stay more on point for this one…

Swift’s Immodest Supposal*

“Love made me crazy If it doesn’t, you ain’t doin’ it right”

When did that become the accepted view? Why are we still selling the idea that ‘real’ love is supposed to be difficult? Can’t we have a few songs about how you met someone who also thought that ‘Nevermind’ was an overrated album and made you smile a noticeably increased amount of times? If ‘love’ is driving you crazy, it doesn’t prove that you’re ‘doing it right’, it proves that one or both of you is a little mentally unstable and absolutely not good for each other.

I’m going to break it down in a completely scientific and not in the least bit cynical way:

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60 British Sea Power: Let the Dancers Inherit the Party

~ Lex Leeson ~ Leave a comment

You know what?: It probably would have made much more sense to actually start the countdown at the same time I announced it, rather than making a big song and dance about it, then going to bed and doing fuck all for 24 hours. Ah well, here we are:

BSP Inspire Slight PTSD

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“You said the world was losing all its lustre
You realised each day you’re growing old”

Your body decides that it’s really given you enough and stops growing in any beneficial way around age 21. This is also the absolute oldest age that you’re really supposed to leave full time education. I mean, sure, there are people older than 21 who decide that, despite being legal adults in every conceivable sense, they still want to stay at school for all their life, base both their dress sense and DVD collection around Tom Baker’s Doctor Who and never shut the fuck up about how much better the quality of the real ale is at their local pub (‘The Queen’s Withered Resignation’) than Wetherspoons’s. These people, though, are the most ridiculous people in the world, and should be disregarded in every discussion.

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