Hallelujah the Hills’ ‘DECK’ Ranked

All 54 Songs on 2025’s Most Insane Achievement Listed in Order of Awesomeness

OK! I’m actually getting round to this! I know I’ve promised to write this post several times but, kid, I make a lot of promises on this blog, they’re practically meaningless. Your Mum can relate, mate, trust me, now pipe down and read the rest of this post.

Boston’s* Hallelujah the Hills (HtH) first announced their plan to released ‘DECK’ in late 2022. By that point, HtH were fifteen years into a recording career that had produced seven studio records of that were all varying degrees of extremely decent to incredibly great. The band were hardly strangers to crazy ambitions and thinking outside the box: they had released albums inspired by 19th century spiritualist scammers; albums that were instrumental scores to a book about the importance of 1968 written by frontperson Ryan H. Walsh; and they once even discovered, on April 1st 2022, field recordings of clairvoyants receiving messages that proved the paranormal origins of many of The Beatles’ songs. I guess that last one isn’t really proof of the band’s eclectic ambitions, more their good luck in unearthing these 1958 recordings, but I still felt it was worth mentioning. They’d never done anything close to as ambitious as ‘DECK’ before though. Few artists have.

(that’s Boston, Massachusetts, USA, not Boston in Lincolnshire, just East of Nottingham. Just wanted to make that clear early in case you were confused by the rest of the article not making any jokes about Fred Maddison or wry references to  St Botolph’s Church)

In an idea that frontperson Walsh apparently had in mind for decades, the project would be called ‘DECK’ because it represented a deck of cards. There’d be fifty two cards. Each card would be a song. There’d be a ‘suit’ of thirteen songs in the ‘Diamonds‘ album (“a proper studio follow up to ‘I’m You’“); thirteen songs in the ‘Clubs‘ album (“lo-fi faster, punkier, dirtier songs”); thirteen songs in the ‘Hearts‘ album (“a sparser, mostly acoustic, yet carefully orchestrated, album full of weepers”); and thirteen songs in the ‘Spades‘ album (“a free-form, experimental record”). All four ‘suits’ would be released on the same day and collectively form the 52 track ‘DECK’ project. The listener would “Be able to pull 13 random cards, put their corresponding songs in the order you pulled the cards, and voila, you have your own unique version of the record that might function like an audio-tarot-card-reading“. It was, obviously, an hilariously overambitious folly that would destroy either the entire band, their collective mental health, or – most likely – both. It’s the kind of shit you’d hear sent Brian Wilson mad in Walsh’s beloved 1968. It’s the kind of thing you’d read about being an early plan for ‘Chinese Democracy‘ that finally convinced Slash that Axl Rose was beyond the point of no return. When Charles Manson first met with Phil Kaufman to explore the possibilities of releasing music, he probably described the ‘DECK’ project. The idea of this project is the rantings of a madman. I immediately begun to be concerned about the band’s collective cocaine consumption.

LOOK AT THIS POST, GIRL

2026’s New Gold Star Artist’s (and a Couple of Shameful Exits)

Keep up at the back! I’ve explained all of this a dozen times by this point! For glorious entry into the prized and celebrated Necessary Evil Gold Star Artists Hall of Fame you need to meet just two basic yet extraordinary difficult criteria:

  • At least three albums
  • All albums featured on the Necessary Evil best of year countdown

Well… not none, but… few… Few Shall Pass.

NE25 saw two new entries to the most prestigious list in all of music. In all of life. And they’re biggies: legitimately two of the most notable artists of the 21st century, and even if a normie mainstream media (more like lamestream media, ammi right lads???) outlet like Rolling Stone or BBC or The Daily Stormer or Razzle decided to list the greatest artists of the past two decades they’d both be listed high. And, in a pleasing bit of symmetry, there were also two artists condemned to the eternal shame of being disqualified from the Gold Star Artists Hall of Fame and violently dispelled into the disgraceful Ex-Gold Star Graveyard. It was a great shame that one of these artists was expelled. The other one I couldn’t give less of a shit about.

More, more, more, how do you like it?

Stat is to Be Done? Necessary Evil 2025 in Numbers

Yes, a lot earlier than I’ve usually pulled my fingers and thumbs out to do these statistical breakdowns of the previous year’s Necessary Evil list of the year’s best albums. I’d fallen into the bad habit of putting it off for so long, that it now usually acts as a semi-introduction to the nexr year’s list, which is pretty fucking pointless.

And this year I have come to the realisation that, ultimately, this whole yearly tradition is pretty dang pointless. Self-referential, divisive, needlessly segregationary, and of absolutely no interest to literally anyone in the world other than myself. It gives me a chance to make fun little pictures, but that’s it.

Which is why, what is to be done, is that this will be the final time ever that I list the stats of the previous year’s list. Especially since I started the (far more important, obviously) Gold Star Artists Hall of Fame (which will get its 2025 update soon), this twee and meaningless drag on my time simply can’t justify itself. After this year’s stats, I’m going to storm the Necessary Evil Winter Palaces and change the whole system for the better.

You might remember that I threatened this on last year’s stat breakdown but decided to give it one more run around because of one important factor: I honestly think that 2025 might see the UK beat the USA for the first time, which would be a great and extremely honourable way to bow out.

Also, I’m really running out of puns for ‘Stats’. And this is two years after I did a Fatman Scoop reference. Times are tough.

You got a ten dollar bill, get your hands up!

Legit Bosses: The 118 Best Songs of 2025

WE ARE CHARLIE KIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRK WE CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRY THE FLAME…!

OK, so that song is obviously number one, no surprises there, but aren’t you still interested in the songs that finished #2 – #118?

Yadda yadda yadda, absolute dog’s bollocks tracks here, you know the drill: #118 is already a fucking banger, then each track afterwards manages to be somehow even better, until we finally reveal which piece of genius is almost as good as We Are Charlie Kirk.

Slightly smaller list than last year, partially because Prince’s insane output has been cordoned off this year to stop it hurting the self-esteem of 2025’s music, and partially because I made the last minute decision to not count any songs from Hallelujah the Hills epic ‘DECK’ project, as I promise I promise I promise that I’ll rank those 54 songs seperately sometime this year. Or, at a push, definitely before 2030. Ish.

Sit back, relax, bookmark this so your next few dumps are sorted, and think about how long it must have taken me to write this fucker if you’re on your twelfth trip to the toilet reading it.

Spotify Playlist

YouTube Playlist

In us it echoes, in Christ it sustains

#1 Anna von Hausswolff: ICONOCLASTS (Best Album of 2025)

A lot of these songs are about love, in various ways, but I wanted the album to feel like a battle cry. It felt urgent to me to express a sense of wanting things to change and actually taking steps towards that change. 

Anna von Hausswolff to The Line of Best Fit 2025/10/27

The foolish hope of great eternal beauty
This shit breaks my heart

Facing Atlas

Of course, this is Anna von Hausswolff we’re talking about, so that line in Facing Atlas comes attached with that voice, that incredibly powerful and borderline counter-musical battering ram of an instrument, perhaps one of the only human talents on Earth that could ever hope to position itself among the maximalist sturm und drang of Von Hausswolf’s music and not be immediately crushed to pieces by the musical waves crashing all around it: “This shit breeeeea-a-ye-aaaaaaaaaayks ma heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaar…!!”

I’m scaring my sister and my mom

2 Prince: Parade

Yeah, I was completely baiting you when I said that this 1986 stone cold classic and eighth stop on our annual trawl through the most interesting back catalogue in 20th century pop might have been named the best album of 2025. It isn’t, and no Prince album on this journey ever will be named as the album of the year: While these annual lists can contain records from all kinds of points in recent and ancient musical history (this year’s list already has ancient texts dating all the way back from 2022), the #1 album always needs to have been released in the qualifying 12 month period. I’m not saying that my personal favourite ever Prince album would have been named #1 if it could, all I’m saying is that it couldn’t. It also means the competition announced on Christmas Day is still open! Nobody’s won it yet! Nobody’s entered it, admittedly, but I assume that’s because all my millions (and millions!) of readers are still just thinking really hard about it.

By 1986, it had essentially always been Prince and The Revolution. Ever since Prince needed a backing band to tour his recently released (and completely self-composed) debut album in 1979, that group (Dez Dickerson on guitar and backing vocals, Andre Cymone on bass guitar, Bobby Z on drums and percussion, Gayle Chapman on keyboards and, obviously, Matt “Dr.” Fink on keyboards) may not have had an official name yet, but they were the first building blocks of what would soon become by far and away Prince’s greatest ever collaborators. When Gayle Champman was replaced by  Lisa Coleman in 1980 and Brown Mark replaced Andre Cymone the year after, this thrillingly tight and unbelievably exciting live band were considered at least enough of a part of the Prince package to be given… a hidden backwards credit on the ‘1999‘ album cover.

Goodness will guide us if love is inside us?

3 FKA Twigs: EUSEXUA

Yeah, that’s right, I’m going to start my post on the Scientifically Proven™ third greatest album of 2025 by slagging off Beyoncé’s ‘Renaissance’ for the third fucking time.

Both Beyoncé’s 2022 critic stupefying event album and FKA Twigs’ third proper record were heavily influenced by dance music. Beyoncé referenced a lot of post 70’s black dance crazes – with close attention paid to early 90’s House music and Detroit’s best -while Twigs was enchanted with the techno music she heard when she relocated to Prague to – don’t laugh – film ‘The Crow‘.

I’m a dog for you

4 Rosalía: Lux

OK, OK, OK, first of all, let’s chill out a bit, OK?

There have been people reacting to the (absolutely fucking incredible, but we’ll get to that shortly) fourth album by Rosalía like the Spanish singer had uncovered a completely new form of making music and ‘Lux’ represents a stylistic shift in the artform akin to Worcester Fragments being compiled in the 13th century. She’s doing music influenced by opera and with a full orchestra!! My mind is literally blown!! I’m dead!!!!!!

Я не шукаю помсти, помста шукає мене

5 Car Seat Headrest: The Scholars

I’m sorry, am I actually losing my fucking my mind here? Is this some bizarrely specific psychotic hallucination that I’m suffering? Is everyone else suffering mass psychosis here?? Is it a mind virus or something? Did all you idiots catch it from TikTok? Everyone else seems to use that apart from me, so that might explain this apparent lunacy.

Hey, I don’t want to sound like I’m not open to debate: if you want to argue that I’ve actually been far too harsh on this modern rock masterpiece, and that it should rightfully be far closer to the number one spot. I hear you, I really do, and can only defend myself by arguing that there have been three albums released this year that are even greater pieces of genius. Also, erm, spoiler alert but there’s a Prince album to come and all. In the interests of BBC-like ‘Both Sides‘ bullshit, I will also listen to even the most insane and backward opinion that suggests that ‘The Scholars‘ would merely be a top ten album, probably delivered while the questioner dribbled out of the side of their mouth and softly pissed themselves. But to suggest anything lower than that is akin to suggesting that not only does man made global warming not exist, but it’s a huge conspiracy thought up by a still living Elvis Pressley as he controls the narrative from the same studio that he faked the moon landing based in the outer reaches of the flat Earth. I’m sorry, sir, but you are obviously an imbecile whose opinions are flimsier than drunk ape’s attempt at Jenga.

And yet, ‘The Scholars‘ received pretty good reviews and was barely mentioned when general discussions of the year’s best took place.

The fuck is wrong with you people??

I don’t feel good about it now and I won’t when I look back