Old A.P Loves Young M.A

I always appreciate cultural recommendations: if you mention a song, album, movie, TV show or wrestling match you think I’d like, or simply something that you really like yourself, I will always afford it close consideration. I once watched a fricking eleven hour movie in freaking Korean (the lamestream media claim it’s only 2 hours 36 minutes, but it’s definitely eleven hours! #FakeNews) and an entire TV series about American football just because a friend suggested I do so. If someone is really interested in something, it’s always worth investigating. Chiefly for the following reasons:

(Bwa-ha-ha! That should ensure they click the ‘read more’ link!! #Clickbait)

• If I think enough of you to listen to a single word you say, I also appreciate and value your opinion
• If I investigate the thing you love, I will collect enough evidence to legitimise my opinion that the thing is fucking terrible and that you must be a fucking idiot for liking it. Me voicing this opinion will confirm that I am better than you and have far more refined cultural tastes. You will also infer from this that my penis is actually far bigger than yours or, if applicable, my vagina is far more… deeper…? moister…? What do women boast about their noo-noos? Any women please get in touch, I’ve never spoken to a women before, but I think I’ve heard enough Taylor Swift songs and watched enough ‘Project Runway’ to know what you girls like. Like, shopping and shit, yeah?
• You should always be looking for new things to like!! If you rest on your laurels and accept that you only like the things you like, you will stagnate, fossilise, and die alone. Alone and pathetic! I hate you!

 

Where am I going with this…?

Ah yes:

Now, my brother- whom we’ll call Mizdow in an elaborate and very clever joke which you have no chance of understanding and I simply don’t have time nor energy to explain- almost never recommends music to me. This is generally because he’s into entirely different music than me: he pretty much invented Pitchfork, enjoys music you can generally imagine soundtracking people in Oregon with beards and thick rimmed glasses carving canoes, and spends roughly 56% of his time talking about how much he loves ‘Modern Vampires of the City’, an album that has been scientifically deigned as being extremely ‘meh’.

So when he brought my attention to Young M.A, he obviously thought quite highly of Katorah Marrero (what. A freaking. Amazing. Name +1). Having lived with it for a few months now, I both heartily agree with little Mizdow’s opinion, and I’m greatly flattered by how cool he obviously (and correctly) believes me to be to consider this the type of music I’d like. Yes, Du… Mizdow: Young M.A and me are so alike that if she lived in Ashton-under-Lyne we’d most probably be friends. (Katorah: get in touch)

I love ‘Herstory’, from the Michael Jackson referencing title, to her unique liquor and smoke grated vocals, to the cover art, to the subtle pop sensibilities of every track, to her weirdly adorable potty mouth*, to the music that’s <INSERT SOME REALLY CLEVER SOUNDING MUSICAL STATEMENTS HERE, USE WORDS LIKE ‘ALLEGRO’ AND ‘TREMOLO’>.

Chiefly, though, what makes Young M.A. so engaging is her viewpoint: as a young female lesbian (as oppose to what, Alex? A young male lesbian? Jesus, man, you’re using far too many superfluous words! This is why the word count of these entries is always ridiculously inflated! watch yourself in the future, OK?) she offers a perspective, attitude and context that is almost completely absent from music in general, and near enough non existent in hip hop. If Katorah combines with the right producer and produces enough tracks of the quality of her breakout hit Ooouuu, then she could be an absolutely game changing star

What’s that? You want to know more about my brother? Well, I anticipated such curiosity, so I went through the trouble of paying £1’200 to a local artist to paint a picture of him, which he claims took him 3 months work to complete.

What’s that he’s carrying, I hear you ask? Well, that’s MGMT’s career-killing 2010 album ‘Congratulations’, the LP of which Mizdow actually carries with him at all times, being the absolute only person in the world to actually fucking like that piece of shit.

I realised when I commissioned the artist to draw that picture that I actually had no idea what colour my brother’s eyes are. I mean, I think they’re blue, but…

What colour are my eyes…???

People, I know you read this blog** expecting an important piece of life advice every entry. Well, for this entry, take this piece of advice to your heart: tonight, pull your loved ones close, and really check their eye colour.

Then, like, write it down somewhere or something, I dunno…

Jesus, I thought this would be a short entry…

Score:

Album Length: 23 minutes (+23)

Very Good Songs: 3 (+6)

Brilliant Songs: 2 (+10)

I’m counting bonus tracks on this album. Sometimes I don’t. Sometimes I do. It’s my fucking list, go fuck yourselves.

Jesus, my language sometimes…

AMAZING Songs: 1 (+10)

% of Album Worthwhile: 85.7142857

Cover:

Brilliant. Simple, but effective. Young M.A looks fantastic, like a real star in waiting.

+9

Previous Entries: None

All debut entries must be rewarded: we’re into encouraging new businesses here at Necessary Evil HQ

+25

Total: 176.7142857

https://youngma.shop.capthat.com/store

*Why is it ‘adorable’, Alex? I’m pretty sure that’s either sexist or racist, very possibly both

** That’s a lie already: literally nobody reads this blog