43 Big Boi: BOOMIVERSE

~ Lex Leeson ~ Leave a comment

Listen, I spent two freaking days finishing my 2000 word Lil Yachty appraisal, so the next couple of entries are going to be a little shorter than usual

Boi Makes Pleasantly Big Bang

Image result for grandma on couch

Ah, Big Boi: what can you say about him that hasn’t already been said?

1520786692150-419339451.jpg

You could say quite a lot, actually: you could say he was part pf the water polo team that won bronze in the 1964 Tokyo Olympics; you could say that he’s terrified of performing squats because he’s convinced the movement will force him to pass wind and he’d just die from the embarrassment; you could say that the only reason bananas no longer grow in Atlanta is because Bog Boi ate them all; you could say that he spells Ludacris’s name as ‘Ludicrous’ because he’s vehemently against using hip hop as an excuse to propagate incorrect spelling; there are loads of things that haven’t been said about Andre Patton before.

1520782645845-419339451.jpg

I mean, I guess it’d be more difficult to say things that weren’t lies, but still…

Continue reading “43 Big Boi: BOOMIVERSE” →

44 Lil Yachty: Teenage Emotion

~ Lex Leeson ~ 14 Comments

The Teens are Revolting

img_20180309_181822.jpg

A revolution doesn’t mean that things are being changed for the better. It just means that things are being changed

It’s for this reason that Donald Trump

th-2_20180309184002201.jpg.jpg

is probably the most revolutionary American President in generations.

Barack Obama certainly wasn’t revolutionary: he was a notable and genuinely inspiring representation of the progress made in perhaps considering the possibilities of equal opportunities in the country (and by extension the western world) but aside from the colour of his skin his rise to power (best at school – notable stint at very high paid but extremely dull job – moves into politics – doesn’t do anything horrendously embarrassing for about a decade – gets good at public speaking – becomes president) and pretty much the entirety of his term in office was generally a cut and paste job from near enough every democratic president in history (Republicans are nearly exactly the same, except they claim their family owned a farm, wear cowboy hats on distinctly more occasions, and actually talk about guns rather than change the subject in fear of losing votes). He was smart, he said the right things, he wore the right suits, he never slagged off Will.I.Am on Twitter for declining record sales after he stopped working with him. Hopefully Obama’s time in office will encourage far more non-white feasible presidential candidates in the future, but right now the most revolutionary thing to come out of his presidency may be the future popularity of drone strikes.

Image result for this is awkward

Continue reading “44 Lil Yachty: Teenage Emotion” →

A Quick (possibly final) Entry

~ Lex Leeson ~ 5 Comments

I probably won’t have the time to do this blog in the future, so will in all probability be finishing writing it very soon.

ASIWYFA

I assume that the band And So I Watch You From Afar are accepting the conditions to my employment that I laid out in the blog post, so in all honesty it would seem a little difficult to combine my work on the blog with my new role as the lead vocalist (and, let’s be honest here, my position as front man will naturally install me as the  de facto band leader) of the group on a £70’000 basic wage (along with generous cuts of merchandise and ticket sales).

So, big thanks to everyone whose read my Necessary Evil countdowns on the Baboon Etiquette blog over the years- and I may as well continue writing until my contract from the band arrives awaiting my signature- but it’s been a pleasure writing for you all and I have sincerely appreciated your support

 

 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

45 And So I Watch You From Afar: The Endless Shimmering

~ Lex Leeson ~ 10 Comments

Seth Manchester: So Much To Answer For

Image result for john robb

Now, if you read my rapturous praise of The Hotelier’s ‘Goodness‘ last year- which you didn’t, because you’ve only arrived at this entry by mistake (perhaps after punching ‘erotic fucking baboon*’ into Google, arriving here penis in hand and, if you’re being honest, desperately disappointed) and already can tell that the cheap and obnoxious work evident in both the cheap presentation and the nonsensical garbage written is hardly worth trawling through three months worth of posts in order to proper place this particular entry on a semi-obscure instrumental rock band from Belfast in its intended context- then you might remember- though even if you did read it, it’s far from certain that you’d remember a brief snippet of information lightly touched on during the piece, and are far more likely to be mentally scarred for life by the image of a pale fat guy dancing with his shirt off if the entry left any lasting impression on you at all- how much of the praise for the construction of such an unholy masterpiece of a record should lay at the feet of one ‘Seth Manchester’, who contributed some of the greatest rock production I could ever remember hearing.

img_20180309_130907.jpg

I’ve, erm, lost a lot of weight since those pictures, ladies…

Continue reading “45 And So I Watch You From Afar: The Endless Shimmering” →

46 Andrew Bird: Echolocations: River

~ Lex Leeson ~ 5 Comments

Echoes of Locating a Cool Red

Image result for undertaker dyes hair

Aaaaaah, Andrew Bird- ‘Birdo’ as I call him, or ‘Birdman’, or ‘Big Bird’, or ‘Slammin’ Andy’ if I’m not into the whole ‘feathery’ thing: we’re good friends- has been a repeat offender of past Necessary Evils. I occasionally forget about him for a few albums, but then discover his latest release and discover him still producing music of such consistent quality that I curse myself for ever letting him slip from my consideration. He’s like that cool uncle whose infreuent visits you always enjoy and, while he’s scoring you premium grade memthaphetamine and letting you rifle through his collection of vintage mid 1980s porno mags, you wonder why your parents never think of inviting him round more often

‘River’ is the second of his ‘Echolocations’ records and the first I’d been made aw

img_20180309_073458.jpgimg_20180309_073458_20180309081649256.jpgimg_20180309_073614.jpg*

been made aware of. The ‘Echolocations’ records are instrumental albums where The Birdmeister removes himself vocally from the process (meaning we lose a voice that, if we’re being honest, was never one of the main selling points of his music) and focuses on his incredible work with violins. I mean, there isn’t even any whistling on this album, which for a long time Birdometer fan is like playing the latest Lana Del Ray album and her never once either putting on or taking off a red dress. Each record’s name also points to the nature (geddit?) of field music that the collection is recorded under. The locations of the echoes you might be able to pick up: are you following? The first such collection was called ‘Echolocations: Canyon’, which was chiefly recorded in- get this- a canyon, and now ‘Echolocations: River’, recorded in an underpass next to the Los Angeles River.

Continue reading “46 Andrew Bird: Echolocations: River” →

47 Big Thief: Capacity

~ Lex Leeson ~ 10 Comments

Sibling Thievery

00

I’ve already mentioned how much I always appreciate recommendations and referrals, how I am always fascinated by what exact pieces of culture push different people’s buttons and charge up their dopamine. I am always intrigued by different people’s appreciations and infatuations, and am always eager to investigate them further if I have no working relationship with them.

(Once, back when I was drinking, drugging and fucking at university- believing I was living an impossibly cool Hunter S Thompson-like gonzo lifestyle while actually near irreparably fucking my life up for more than a decade- I was in a girl’s room the morning after a CONQUEST the night before- #LAD- and was perusing her CD collection. I laughingly put down the ridiculousness of much of her collection, explaining to her at length how fucking shit Jamiroquai, Sublime, The Mighty Bosstones etc were. She slapped me in the face. Like, hard. I immediately realised how much I deserved it, and changed my life accordingly. I later married that woman. True story)

00.jpg

Continue reading “47 Big Thief: Capacity” →

48 MUNA: About U

~ Lex Leeson ~ 5 Comments

(Never) Get Over Urself

4ce84907

“Now I know I’m not so special/Cause I’m all dressed up/And you think that I’m beautiful/But it’s not enough”

At what age, on average, do you think your average adult comprehends that they’re not at all special? At what age would you expect a human would generally accept that their life is generally inconsequential to the universe’s relentless expansion and eventual disintegration?

Some scientists (bloody boffins! With their freaking glasses on and tweed sweaters! With their copies of the freakin’ Guardian tucked under their puny arms! Neeeeeeeeerds!!) suggest that this realisation comes when a young child looks into a mirror and first comprehends their own reflection, putting themselves for the first time as a small cog in the much wider spectacle of life, shattering the illusion that they were an omnipresent God overseeing random images flash by and gratefully being offered food and cleansing as thanks for God’s benevolent goodness. This is why, after first glimpsing themselves in the mirror, children immediately become calm, restrained and selfless members of the household, recognising how much more the family could achieve if they worked as a team. They’ll often start helping out with the dishes, and leaving positive Amazon reviews for baby wipes you purchased, believing that it’s the least they could do in 2018 to recognise such good value for money and outstandingly reliable delivery.

4ce84907

Continue reading “48 MUNA: About U” →

51 Japanese Breakfast: Soft Sounds From Another Planet

~ Lex Leeson ~ 3 Comments

Turns Out I’d Probably Prefer it Hard

4ce84907

This is a really, really, really… really… really lovely album…

As I’ve previously explained, there are two things that you must not under any circumstances do as a musical artist, as either direction quickly leads you down the path of obsolescence, of fan hatred or, more often, both.

  • Firstly, you have to constantly update and evolve your sound. If fans suspect that you’re not making enough progression between albums than you’ll quickly be tossed on the scrapheap as an obvious one trick pony emperor with no clothes*
  • Secondally, you must never change your music or make significant alterartions to the way you sound: people hate change, and if your new record doesn’t sound exactly like your last then your fanbase will feel like it’s been betrayed, you’ll forever be known as the act that used to be good, before they went far too pop/rock/dance/country/gypsy folk/emo/Baby Metal and all the sheeps started liking them. Sure, you can try and recreate the sound of that last LP later in your career, but everyone will see through that as an offensively blatant reach for their approval, and somehow hate you even more, and this record you release will universally decreed as being the lamest album ever!!

To recount: change is essential, but also the worst thing you could possibly do

batista-new-years-revolution-2005-1456724926-800.jpg

Continue reading “51 Japanese Breakfast: Soft Sounds From Another Planet” →