White Lung remain one of absolutely the greatest things in the world
If you were paying attention to Forbes ‘100 Best Things in the World’ issue this pat June, you would have noticed White Lung coming in at number 8, just ahead of ‘Getting a Package Delivered That You Forgot You Ordered’ and just behind ‘Juan Mata’
In a strange way, whenever you listen to Malibu you’re always a little disappointed…
I met up with an old friend recently who I’ve not seen for literally a donkey’s years
who I obviously won’t name, because even if the chance of him reading this are slim I’m a great believer in data protection, so let’s just call him ‘J Theakston’…
No, that’s too obvious, let’s call him ‘Jamie T’…
No, not that Jamie T, who did one amazing song ten years ago and is still crapping out songs not fit to lick the sweat off Sheila’s boots to this day, a different Jamie T
Oh! It’s MIA backwards! I’ve literally only just got that
+8
Hey ladies, hey fellas (you know you’re doing good because they’re jealous)
I’m afraid I’ve got some bad news: Mildred Ingrid Addison, whom you all may know as MIA, once one of the most exciting, ingenious, influential and visionary artists making music, is now around 86% ridiculous
I used to hate the cover of ‘Princess’, I used to think it looked cheap, sordid and…
…
…
…this isn’t working, the picture’s too far up the page, I want it to be right on top of the writing as I’m dissecting it, y’know?
That film was sixty four minutes long. Sixty four minutes!!
Back in 1941, film makers knew how long a film was meant to last, there was no scene in ‘Dumbo’ where Timothy Q.Mouse had a bath in a fucking magic pool and screamed as he was tortured visions of the Olsen twins exploded into magical CGI confetti as Robert Downey Jnr made some tortured pun about cheese or some shit, in order to expand on the Dumbo Cinematic Universe (DCU®). Boom, there’s your fucking film, now fuck off home. Life was great in 1941
Francis Fukuyama argued in his 1989 essay ‘The End of History’ that the fall of the Berlin Wall represented the final stand of any opposition to Western liberal democracy, and that the human race had finally found its final form, and so this was the….
edge of antiquity
And he was right, as you know, seeing as literally nothing has happened anywhere in the world since November 9th 1989. It can be a little boring sometimes, turning onto the Ten O’Clock news only to watch Huw Edwards awkwardly shrug his shoulders for 30 minutes, but it’s still nice that all conflict is finished and the world is finally agreed on everything
I’m not a particularly interesting person, and being a white, heterosexual male from middle class stock makes me pretty default in Britain, so I often talk about my time in China in order to keep people’s attention
Well, yes, there’s the disability I have, but that’s healed to the extent that people rarely even bring it up, and if they do, what am I supposed to tell them? The truth? That it was a suicide attempt?? I am governmentally recognised as a ‘Top Lad’ and diverting information like that is sure to kill the bantz. No, just say I had an accident in China and hope the subject changes
You wanna hear about a real ‘mystery jet’?
I’ll tell you about a real ‘mystery jet’!
Necessary Evil 