Oh! It’s MIA backwards! I’ve literally only just got that
+8
Hey ladies, hey fellas (you know you’re doing good because they’re jealous)
I’m afraid I’ve got some bad news: Mildred Ingrid Addison, whom you all may know as MIA, once one of the most exciting, ingenious, influential and visionary artists making music, is now around 86% ridiculous
-2
She’s a bit like your mate- you know Darren?- who was unquestionably the coolest person at your school, and whose words you’d hang off in the hope that just a teaspoon full of his effortless divinity would somehow splash on your face and illuminate your pathetic meaningless existence as it drips down your lips <erm, a little too much-Ed>, but has refused to evolve his personality in the decades since school, too scared that he’ll lose whatever it was that made him undeniably cool so unwilling to fix something that may not be broke but he doesn’t realise is now laughably decayed
-23
Of course, you still invite Darren out ocassionally, as he definitely still knows how to have a good time, even if you feel a little cruel about how blissfully unaware he is that people have been laughing at him behind his back all these years
+4
Mildred, like Darren, can ocassionally make a glorious racket, and opener Borders may well be one of her greatest ever tracks, but it’s also the first sign that either you’ve grown up or she’s gone backwards, as the lyrics are absolutely typical of her…
…
…
…fifth…? album <yeah, sure, why not?-Ed> and the absolute bilge contained within:
You may have noticed that those lyrics are absolute bollocks, meaningless sloganeering like a trailer for a new ITV show designed for teenagers that some researcher wrote after Googling ‘trendy words 2016’
-13
But that’s fine, because Mildred is a lot of fun, and ‘AIM’ Is frequently an absolute gas, so long as you treat it like the dumb party record it is, and that an artist who once seemed to hold legitimate political insights is now more concerned with writing a song full of bird puns
+2
‘Who said it was easy?/They can never stop we’ Mildred really needs a rhyming dictionary
-6
Freedun
Metacritic: +65
Jesus, is that the lowest score yet?
Length: 39 minutes +7
Best Lyric: ‘Tryna rain, tryna rain on the thunder/Tell the storm I’m new/I’ma walk, I’ma march on the regular Painting white flags blue’ +1
Number of AMAZING songs: 2 (+20)
…But Are All the Rest of the Songs Kinda Amazing Anyway?
You know what? Not really: ‘AIM’ is often glorious but there are definite duds
+25
Is the last song just the first track but played on Ukulele? No -1
Total 234
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