I don’t think there was an album released in 2016 that I more desperately wanted to love than Hinds’ debut. Apart from Damien Lazarus’s. And The Joy Formiddable’s. And M83’s (which I felt so apathetic towards it didn’t even make the list). And Nick Cave
In Hamburg in 1834, a young army officer, Baron von Ropp, was attempting to woo the uncommonly beautiful Countess Lodoiska, the green eyed widow of a Polish general, but was wary that the handsome young army officer Baron von Trautmasdorf posed a serious challenge for the beauty’s affections. Because this was the early 19th century, and history is fucking brilliant, Von Ropp felt the best way to lesson the threat of his rival was to slander his good name. Which he did. By writing a poem. About his moustache
Wait…
So there’s the Olsen Twins, yeah? And there’s that one in the ‘Avengers’ film with the magic ability to do absolute anything that the plot requires at that moment, and now there’s Angel Olsen, so how many of them are there in total? Is it four different Olsen’s? Or is there actually just one Olsen, and our belief that there are more is a shadowy conspiracy by the Illuminati/Jews to hide Barack Hussein Obama’s real birthplace in order to pretend that Tupac is dead?
Jesus, this incredible album is only 94th?? Another reason why
I don’t really believe in the existence of ‘guilty pleasures’
Well, that’s not strictly true: if your ‘pleasure’ is forcibly removing the kneecaps of Somalian traffic wardens and leaving them to harden in the sun before burning holes in them with cigarettes and wearing them as gaudily ostentatious oversized hooped earrings, then, yeah, you should probably be considered guilty
The Do La Las are one of the most important artists of the last 100 years
As a pastime that insists on referring to itself as a sport (or even a pastime) baseball is an unrepentant abortion of enjoyment
OK, this has really pissed me off: look at the cover of their debut album:
Now look at the cover of ‘Wee Dirty Birdies’:
Nice symmetry, no?
My mood goes in waves, see?
Mid way through 2016, which feels like roughly seventeen ice ages ago, I felt positive and excited enough to collate what were my top 13 (or something) <you should probably just check this, it looks shamefully lazy otherwise- Ed> songs of the year so far as a tantalising preview of the majesty of Necessary Evil 2016 that would arrive at the year’s end
Now, close to eighteen months later, and far too late to be of any relevance or usefulness, I’m finally naming my albums of the year after my mood hitting rock bottom around Christmas 2016 and never again quite scaling those heights since. My whole life is a fucking shambles
The waves of me mood were high and mighty in June (or July, or possibly August) 2016 <again, it would be really simple to check, it was probably the last post you made on your blog- Ed>, crashing loudly and majestically against the shore of my self-belief, and I wanted other people to know how good I felt! I feel that when my waves are high I am a markedly better person.
Back then, many beards ago, I felt like I had life sorted out, felt like I knew who I was and what I was meant to be doing. I felt happy
I was moist and ripe for Prince Rama <hmmm, less creepy phrasing, perhaps? Also: doesn’t really make sense- Ed>, and so felt confident in naming Bahia, the ludicrously upbeat opening track of the ludicrously upbeat ‘Xtreme Now’ (starts with an ‘x’, very futuristic +1), as my 7th or 8th or 12th <I mean, this is starting to look really unprofessional now- Ed> favourite song of the year
Bahia is the greatest example of the album’s modus operandi: shiny happy music for shiny happy people, and way back in 2016 I was ready to drink it in! +3
‘Modus operandi’ is a Latin phrase literally translating as ‘modelled on Oprah’, as Empower Tibirius believed that all methodology should be steered toward appearing on the Oprah Winfrey show
No, not that Oprah Winfrey, that wouldn’t make much sense, would it? Like, a Roman one…
However, one of the strange byproducts of my see-sawing moods is that when my waves are pathetically low I seem to spend much of my time obsessively analysing everything I said and did when my waves were high, and almost entirely convincing myself that I should be utterly, cripplingly ashamed of the person I am when I’m happy, like my subconscious is trying to warn me against ever enjoying life ever again. It’s fucking awful…
I get not dissimilar feelings listening to ‘Xtreme Now’ now… ‘Xtreme’ now… ‘Xtreme Now’ now now now…
These days, when I listen to ‘Xtreme Now’, I get similar emotions: the cracks are easy to spot, the imperfections all too prevalent
All too often to glum ears it can sound cheap and rushed, and if you aren’t enamoured with the record’s charisma then it can sound laughably amateur in places
Ocassionally I worry whether it solely exists in my record collection now as a sad monument to how good I used to feel…
But, then I see a picture of Prince Rama:
Really, so we’re getting Prince Points (easily a score of 7 for this album bee tea double you) and a ‘Prince Approves’ award?? Isn’t that a little bit overkill <ouch, too soon- Ed>
I can’t stay mad at you, Pri-Ram 🙂 🙂 🙂
Also: Shitopia! Loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooool!!
That song starts almost exactly like Crystal Ball too. So, y’know, there’s that…
I mean… Yeah, come on… I mean… Yeah…
I’m pretty convinced I’m not doing the maths correctly…
Pics stolen from:
http://animalnewyork.com/2012/prince-rama-needs-your-help-to-make-psych-opera/
http://www.wrestlingnewsworld.com/chris-jericho-explains-coming-list/
http://www.dogbreedplus.com/dog_names/black_dog_names.htm
Lot of pictures on this one, aye?
Necessary Evil 