90 Hinds: Leave Me Alone

I don’t think there was an album released in 2016 that I more desperately wanted to love than Hinds’ debut. Apart from Damien Lazarus’s. And The Joy Formiddable’s. And M83’s (which I felt so apathetic towards it didn’t even make the list). And Nick Cave


And Jenny Hval


And Radiohead, I suppose.


As far as I can remember, those are the albums released in 2016 that I actually brought on CD without hearing the contents first, so convinced was I of the quality contained within



Shit, Tegan and Sara too


After learning of the existence of Hinds- a group of four Spanish teenage girls who play garage rock as optimistically cheery at the prospect of life that only teenagers are stupid enough to be- and hearing one track that confirmed that they would sound exactly as wonderful as the coolest girls at my school getting drunk and making a record while their parents were away for the night as I had imagined, I actually sought the disk down in Piccadilly Records, Manchester after more, erm, ‘legally ambivalent’ methods of acquiring it proved fruitless


And I took it home, and I listened to it, and I…




I really wanted to love it…


Much like my son, Forthwith-Bentley III, whom I don’t hate by any means, it’s been difficult to engender the love that I always assumed would blossom naturally


Funnily enough, my son actually identifies as a Spanish teenage girl- Fortwica-Bentos Tres- despite him never even being to Spain, having a tiny little floppy penis that’s on show far more often than is truly necessary, and him being only eighteen months old. People aren’t woke enough to understand how a child can identify as a Spanish teenager before he

download (22)

-sorry: she can even talk, but a father knows these things, you look into her eyes and tell me she doesn’t want to wear the Flamenco dress I bought before she was born


Now, people assume that I have such trouble getting on with Fortwica-Bentos Tres because I have some problem with transgendered or transethnic people, whereas on the contrary I believe that in 201(cough)6 we should celebrate the fact that we’ve become so advanced as a species that we can diagnose such genetic missteps and so scientifically and culturally advanced that we can make steps to rectify it


Well, not ‘transethnic’, because ethnic differences only exist culturally and occasionally aesthetically, and there is no biological difference between a Spanish person and a Colombian person or a Chinese person or a Nigerian person or a Scouser and we shouldn’t encourage ideas that suggest there is



But ‘Leave Me Alone’… well… there’s not much too it


It’s fun and silly and obviously a riot to make, but there are no layers to it or much enjoyment to be had beside the shallow satisfaction their lo-fi, low-frills (albeit high-thrills) garage can provide



But then, I watch one of their videos and I’m back on board: Hinds’ enthusiasm, joy de vivre, cool and snarky self-awareness is infectious, and I promise to follow their career until their music is of sufficient quality to match their zeal


‘Joy de vivre’ is a French term literally meaning ‘the joy of vivisection’, which I believe requires no explanation, those randy French swines


But, yeah, I’ll listen to your next album before buying it…


But that comic you advertise on your website, that looks awesome: if you’re reading this feel free to send it me simply for loving you so much  x

Metacritic: +74

Length 34 minutes +12

Best Lyric: ‘Know that I kept it sexy, you know I kept it fun/There’s something that I’m missing, maybe my head for one’ +1

Is the last song just the first track but played on Ukulele? No -1

Total 83

Sigh, still loads of these:








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