I don’t think there was an album released in 2016 that I more desperately wanted to love than Hinds’ debut. Apart from Damien Lazarus’s. And The Joy Formiddable’s. And M83’s (which I felt so apathetic towards it didn’t even make the list). And Nick Cave

And Jenny Hval

And Radiohead, I suppose.

As far as I can remember, those are the albums released in 2016 that I actually brought on CD without hearing the contents first, so convinced was I of the quality contained within

+3

Shit, Tegan and Sara too

After learning of the existence of Hinds- a group of four Spanish teenage girls who play garage rock as optimistically cheery at the prospect of life that only teenagers are stupid enough to be- and hearing one track that confirmed that they would sound exactly as wonderful as the coolest girls at my school getting drunk and making a record while their parents were away for the night as I had imagined, I actually sought the disk down in Piccadilly Records, Manchester after more, erm, ‘legally ambivalent’ methods of acquiring it proved fruitless

+3

And I took it home, and I listened to it, and I…

…

…

…hmmm….

-1

I really wanted to love it…

-3

Much like my son, Forthwith-Bentley III, whom I don’t hate by any means, it’s been difficult to engender the love that I always assumed would blossom naturally

-2

Funnily enough, my son actually identifies as a Spanish teenage girl- Fortwica-Bentos Tres- despite him never even being to Spain, having a tiny little floppy penis that’s on show far more often than is truly necessary, and him being only eighteen months old. People aren’t woke enough to understand how a child can identify as a Spanish teenager before he

-sorry: she can even talk, but a father knows these things, you look into her eyes and tell me she doesn’t want to wear the Flamenco dress I bought before she was born

+4

Now, people assume that I have such trouble getting on with Fortwica-Bentos Tres because I have some problem with transgendered or transethnic people, whereas on the contrary I believe that in 201(cough)6 we should celebrate the fact that we’ve become so advanced as a species that we can diagnose such genetic missteps and so scientifically and culturally advanced that we can make steps to rectify it

+5

Well, not ‘transethnic’, because ethnic differences only exist culturally and occasionally aesthetically, and there is no biological difference between a Spanish person and a Colombian person or a Chinese person or a Nigerian person or a Scouser and we shouldn’t encourage ideas that suggest there is

-20

But ‘Leave Me Alone’… well… there’s not much too it

-1

It’s fun and silly and obviously a riot to make, but there are no layers to it or much enjoyment to be had beside the shallow satisfaction their lo-fi, low-frills (albeit high-thrills) garage can provide

-4

But then, I watch one of their videos and I’m back on board: Hinds’ enthusiasm, joy de vivre, cool and snarky self-awareness is infectious, and I promise to follow their career until their music is of sufficient quality to match their zeal

+5

‘Joy de vivre’ is a French term literally meaning ‘the joy of vivisection’, which I believe requires no explanation, those randy French swines

+1

But, yeah, I’ll listen to your next album before buying it…

-2

But that comic you advertise on your website, that looks awesome: if you’re reading this feel free to send it me simply for loving you so much  x

Metacritic: +74

Length 34 minutes +12

Best Lyric: ‘Know that I kept it sexy, you know I kept it fun/There’s something that I’m missing, maybe my head for one’ +1

Is the last song just the first track but played on Ukulele? No -1

Total 83

Sigh, still loads of these:

https://www.amazon.com/Leave-Me-Alone-Hinds/dp/B0188LPYTO

http://www.midorisobsessions.com/2016/01/hinds-sidecar.html

http://www.uefa.com/uefaeuro/news/newsid=706727.html

https://www.consumerreports.org/ranges/how-to-get-the-most-from-your-broiler/

https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/team-hi-viz

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/exclusive-heroin-addicts-to-be-given-free-foil-to-help-them-kick-their-habit-9655225.html

https://www.cashcrate.com/blog/announcements/all-payments-will-be-made-in-pennies-1/