Tag: sex

66 Charli XCX: Pop 2

~ Lex Leeson ~ 8 Comments

“You got me doin’ all this stupid shit/You fuck me up like this/Secretly I’m into it though”

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OK…

OK…

OK.

So it’s 2018, and I still think that in many ways we really need to demystify sex. I know, I know, my views on sex are probably about as valid as a chinchilla’s take on the fallout from the Arab Spring. Sure, you’ll be slightly impressed that the chinchilla (me) has at least heard of it, but you’re unlikely to think that his views on the matter carry much weight and are worth much consideration, and all things considered you’d really prefer it if the chinchilla (me) instead concentrated on learning not to shit on the carpet. Regardless, I honestly don’t think I’m going to be hurting anyone by expressing these views, and my opinions are backed with absolutely no conviction of bravery at all, so I’ll just delete this post if it ever looks like I’m likely to be included in Jon Ronson’s next book. And anyway, in terms of people thinking less of me, I don’t think there’s a lower level for me to collapse into.

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72 Phew: Voice Hardcore

~ Lex Leeson ~ 11 Comments

The 1976 movie ‘Snuff’ is a pretty by the numbers meat and potatoes early slasher flick, revolving around the exploits of some n’er do well bikers in South America. The leader of the bikers is called ‘Satan’, which you have to imagine they planned to change at one point. The movie becomes rather notable at its end though.

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The film ends with a pregnant actress being stabbed (it was very much that kind of movie), but then we hear the director shout ‘cut’ and the camera pulls away from the action and back to reveal the full movie set. Cameras, crew and director. As the crew pack up their shit, happy with the results of the obvious $72 that went into making the film, a script girl approaches the director and confesses what an admirer she is of his work. She also, predictably, tells him how the violent scene turned her on, because bitches be craaaaaaazeeeeeee!

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73 Luke Haines: I Sometimes Dream of Glue

~ Lex Leeson ~ 3 Comments

‘This is the non-stop train to Hull’

Yaaaaaaaaars!! Luke! Luke! Luke! Luke! Haines-o! Haines-o! Haines-o! L-M-H! (clap, clap, clap) L-M-H! (clap, clap, clap) L-M-H! (clap, clap, clap). And so it continues, mainly in that fashion.

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I freaking love Luke Haines, and pretty much any old shite he releases is going to end up on the best of the year list.

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2 Bon Iver: 22, A Million

~ Lex Leeson ~ 7 Comments

Let’s get the important stuff out of the way first: I’ve always pronounced it ‘Bon Ivor’

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Because of this I set up a Google Alert to tell me when somebody finally made a ‘Bon Iver the Engine’ meme, as I truly believed that such a witty reference to both an ultra hipster musical act and an old children’s’ show would truly bring the world together in these troubled times

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No, but apparently he’s one of those ultra-hipster tossers who chooses to pretentiously pronounce his name the way it’s spelled, so the reference is lost

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42 Alicia Keys: HERE

~ Lex Leeson ~ Leave a comment

Don’t you hate it when people ask you what ‘kind of music’ you like?

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It’s awful to think that some people (most people??) only like a certain genre or style, which the question covertly supports

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HERE

Be very wary of people who quickly answer the question with a definitive variety of music, increasing your wariness exponentially the more specific the genre they name. If they say they like ‘dance’, ‘classical’ or ‘indie’ music, then they are merely extremely boring people who only really interact with music when they want to escape all ties to consciousness, relax in their study while planning further expansions of their plantation, or just want to really magnify their dullness, respectively

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However, if they get more detailed, and say they only like metal music made by Brummies without the full collection of fingers, or rock music containing no more than three chords made by two men in denim jackets with mullets, or by a band from Glastonbury with a strongly simian frontman singing songs about touching things, then they’re absolutely thinking of a specific artist and a specific time when they first heard their music and are cursed to spend the rest of their life searching in vain for that specific moment in their life when they were last happy

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56 Maxwell: blackSUMMERS’night

~ Lex Leeson ~ 2 Comments

Francis Fukuyama argued in his 1989 essay ‘The End of History’ that the fall of the Berlin Wall represented the final stand of any opposition to Western liberal democracy, and that the human race had finally found its final form, and so this was the….

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edge of antiquity

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And he was right, as you know, seeing as literally nothing has happened anywhere in the world since November 9th 1989. It can be a little boring sometimes, turning onto the Ten O’Clock news only to watch Huw Edwards awkwardly shrug his shoulders for 30 minutes, but it’s still nice that all conflict is finished and the world is finally agreed on everything

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60 King Dude: Sex

~ Lex Leeson ~ Leave a comment

The guy’s name is King Dude. Who cares what the music sounds like?

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If he were a rapper, the name ‘King Dude’ would sound a tad unimaginative and infantile, like the kind of name Dapper Laughs would give to his comedy hip-hop side project that sees him constantly attempt to rhyme ‘banter’ with ”sexual assault’ with hilarious consequences.

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But does King Dude make rap music? The music of rap King Dude does not make

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