60 King Dude: Sex

The guy’s name is King Dude. Who cares what the music sounds like?


If he were a rapper, the name ‘King Dude’ would sound a tad unimaginative and infantile, like the kind of name Dapper Laughs would give to his comedy hip-hop side project that sees him constantly attempt to rhyme ‘banter’ with ”sexual assault’ with hilarious consequences.


dapper laughs.jpg

But does King Dude make rap music? The music of rap King Dude does not make




It took me fucking ages to write that Dapper Laughs rap


If he was making pop music under the name ‘King Dude’ then you’d roll your eyes at such an outdated and transparent attempt to sound ‘cool’, assume it’s aimed at preteens and concede that surely they’re not that dumb


But does King Dude make pop music? The music of pop King Dude does not make


king dude

Well, alright, yeah, he kinda does make pop music, but not that kind of pop music, yeah?


Instead, Thomas Jefferson Cowgil <you’re actually Googling people’s real names now?? Sell out- Ed> makes non more dark folk, grinding swamp rock that Nick Cave once used to masturbate to, malicious and rumbling Deliverance blues, the sound of Tom Waits’s nightmares that force him to wake up laughing maniacally






…and he releases that music under the name ‘King freaking Dude’. The man’s a God



Come on, at least

9 Guns ‘n’ Roses Points

for such colossal rock balls



This album’s obviously not on Metacrtic- because the cunts are too scared!- but King Dude’s previous efforts have won him a dastardly low


Length: 40 minutes +5

Number of AMAZING songs: 0

Yeah, But Does, Like, the Album Have a General Sheen of Brilliance? Yes (+50)

Is the last song just the first track but played on Ukulele? No -1

Total 203


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