Legit Bosses: The 112 Best Songs of 2019

OK OK OK! There were 112 amazing songs released in 2019 (or, erm, released earlier but I just listened to them a lot this year), and here is the definitive, objective and scientifically proven ranking. You can disagree all you want, just remember your disagreement is merely an opinion and this list is fact.


Or maybe not. I made a big change of tablet and therefore music player this year, and I might not have remembered all of the songs I deemed to be Legit Bosses earlier in the year. But whatever, here are 112 amazing songs, here’s the YouTube list and here’s the Spotify playlist, now please leave me alone, yeah?

Starting at number 112 wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiith…

Continue reading “Legit Bosses: The 112 Best Songs of 2019”

Necessary Evil 2019 (53-49)

53 Govier: No More Frontiers


Hey! I wrote a big review of this album when it came out! What, you want me to cut and paste all those words here?? Jesus, your sense of entitlement is actually rather worrying. I’m not angry, I’m just… learning things about you…

I’ll just add one little story. One of my friends actually subscribes to my blog. Like, literally I think, one of my friends. That’s how fucking useless my friends are. Honestly, if you take away the option of offering them an excuse to get drunk (even if you keep stressing to them that, even if you don’t drink, you really fucking want them to, because they’re such overwhelming dullards when they’re sober!) you’ll find that many of your friends don’t actually care that much about you. Anyway, my one true friend, the one who actually reads this piece of shit blog, noticed that my latest masterpiece was titled ‘Govier Forces a Little Exception of His Own’ and asked me if I was making political posts now. I just said ‘No’, that ‘Govier’ was the name of the artist, and we moved on. Much, much later, I started to get puzzled by what exactly about that particular title might have led him to believe that it was political, and I think by now too much time has passed for me to reopen the inquiry to attempt to discover…

Michael Gove!! He thought it was about Michael Gove. Well, that’s been solved, and I hope the Michael Gove reference in my latest Miley Cyrus review helped quench that particular thirst. Wow, turns out I really didn’t have anything to talk about for this entry…

Metacritic: n/a

56 in 2018

Wow, at this rate he’ll finish number one in 2041

Continue reading “Necessary Evil 2019 (53-49)”

22: Hot Chip: Why Make Sense?

Little about Hot Chip makes much sense, they have long seemed too bizarre an anomaly to be easily fit into any scene or genre: you just can’t blast out anthems to the dance kids when you look like you could list off your favourite ‘Magic: The Gathering’ card to be played in any one of the top 50 most common gaming scenarios, while you can never truly be accepted by the hipster nerds when your throwing out tunes as banging as ‘Dark Knight‘ or the absolutely stunning ‘Huarache Lights‘ (that opens here and that the album consequently struggles a little to live up to). ‘Why Make Sense’ is almost a mid-life crisis of an album, asking whether it’s actually still normal to just want to pursue fun while approaching middle age, and whether there’s any point in doing so anyway. As the title implies though there’s really little need to over analyse such basic human desires: we’ve had many examples of music that’s referred to as ‘dance music you can’t dance to’, well ‘Why Make Sense’ is dance music you can dance to but made for people who really shouldn’t, yet do it anyway.

hot chip

‘Fun’ Fact: Huarache lights are trainers I’m far too old to think are unbelievably cool

I wonder if any of these tracks would work perfectly on Shane Meadows’ ‘This Is England 90’: Funny you should mention that, because ‘Need You Now‘ has the definite and bewitching stench of Shelley’s Laserdome in Stoke-on-Trent sometime at the turn of the decade.

Album Link