2007 #14 (Happy Mondays)
No, wait…
Nononono, wait one second…
No, honestly, that isn’t a perverted fanart of Darth Vader after he loses his helmet and instead becomes a regular at your local shittiest bar who follows you into the bathrooms in order to try and sell you spice, that’s actually one of the UKs most notable rock stars, and he’s actually released one of the greatest albums of 2021.
call the cops
I’m so insecure, I think
That I’ll die before I drink
Brutal
Ha! Trust me, Ms Rodrigo, if I died before I first drank, it would have made a lot of people’s lives easier! Your not missing anything, I promise. Have you ever tried Methylenedioxymethamphetamine though? That’s some good stuff, get it down you.
Christ, it’s a minefield trying to search for Olivia Rogrido photos. Like, is she twelve years old in that one?? I’m I accidentally turning this whole post into paedofodder? There’s also a lot of gifs of her doing something like sticking her tongue out but looped, which I’m pretty sure are just weird masturbation fodder for 40 year old men. OK, not many years until I’ll greatly appreciate all that pandering, but right now it’s still officially gross, OK? Jesus, this woman turned eighteen in February of this year, and this is her life now. Listen, maybe just read my Jordana piece and, like, amplify it.
I guessed you moved on really easily
No I’m not who I used to be
I used to see magic in everything
But that has gone away from me
I can’t find the remedy
Former Things
Can’t find the remedy, you say?? There’s my ‘in’!! How would you like to hear about my medical misery in 2021??
Wait, are you saying “Noooooo!” or “Noooooof course we’d love to hear that!”?
oooooof course you want to read more
You know that I ain’t blind
I can feel the tension, even when we’re not together
Even when we talk on facetime
Tell me it ain’t wishful thinking
Tell me, girl, I’m not wrong
You know that we more than get along baby
G.O.Y.D
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaw shit. That song… hits… Shit. It’s actually borderline difficult to listen to.
No no no, it’s not difficult because of the phenomenal Lava La Rue, silly! La Rue has absolutely become one of my favourite things in 2021! I love her more than many of my direct family members! I definitely love her more than at least a portion of the people I’ve been married to! In fact, she’s the official winner of the 2021 Necessary Evil One to Watch™ award! Do I have a logo for that? I feel like I should have a logo for that. Hang on a second…
Yes, I know I have beautiful eyes, try saying something original we all don’t already know every now and then, yeah? Lava La Rue now officially has the same accolade awarded to her by Necessary Evil as she did by the Grauniad way back in July 2019. But did that Grauniad award come with such a beautiful logo? No. So sit down, your nonsense didn’t mean shit.
more words to watch (and read)
OK, joking time is over, if you for some reason feel the desire to ‘mess about‘, then please restrict your foolishness to one of the other records on this list. ‘Beyond the Yellow Haze’ doesn’t deserve your silliness. This is serious shit right here.
The lack of inclusion of Emeka Ogboh’s transcendent debut record on some of the (inferior) album of the year lists that I’ve seen popping up recently greatly concerns me. I just can’t understand how any self-respecting person (freaking journalists, no less!) who claim to have an above passing interest in music can seriously claim that there are many musical collections released this year that are as innovative, as innovatory as Ogboh’s audio poem aimed at the rapid change and urbanisation of his home town. Yes, ‘his home town’. I’m not going to say what home that town may be in, as I’m working it into a ‘bit’ later. Don’t worry about it, you should know by now to simply trust in my journalistic talent and just sit back, relax, and enjoy the ride as I see where I take you.
Where I’m taking you
2020 #59 (Jordana), 2021 #56 (with TV Girl)
Jesus, everyone, Jordana was twenty one years old when she released this incredible record back in December 2020 (Making it. Eligible. For this year’s. List. So sick of having to explain how this works), isn’t that just terrifying?
For her, I mean. This isn’t one of those “Whaaaaa! They’re so young and I’ve comparatively failed in life!” takes. Partially because – Jesus fucking Christ – those mournings are so boring. We’ve all failed in life, that’s what connects us so beautifully as people, and even the ones we assume haven’t still think they have, let’s not create divisions by imagining any one of us is making a better go of this shitshow we call existence. Mostly because, seriously, you eventually get to an age where fucking everyone is younger than you (except Caroline Shaw, of course), you stop being such a big baby about the whole thing (“Malala Yousafzai was only fifteen years old when she was shot in the face by Tehrik-i Taliban Pakistan gunmen?! Lucky!! What had I done by that age??”) and instead switch to being in constant mortal dread of your own imminent demise. It’s honestly a cool transition.
I’ve got something more to say to you
2020 #9, 2019 #83, 2018 #55, 2014 #1, 2013 #20, 2010 #15, 2009 #2, 2007 #3
Jesus Christ, more Manics?? Their fourteenth album, their ninth appearance on this year end list which has only run for thirteen years itself, I’ve ranked the albums, I’ve ranked the songs, I’ve shamelessly juiced the clicks because – glimpse behind the curtain, between you and me – any Manics post gets roughly ten times the hits of the rest of nonsense I churn out on this Bullshit Blog™, surely there’s nothing left for me to say??
Ha! Fucking idiot, this is the Manic Street freaking Preachers! I’m always going to have stuff to write about! That list of the greatest songs was about 40’000 words, but I’m still planning to go back and edit it, add new facts I’ve learned, new theories I’ve had, new philosophies uncovered. Plus, their new album, ‘The Ultra Vivid Lament’ wasn’t featured in that album ranking, and I’d only heard the marvellous lead single Orwellian when I made my ranking of Manics songs (I had actually planned to finish it before the new album was released but – ha! – no…) so it was the only one to feature. This is all fresh content, my friends!! Hit that ‘subscribe’ button as hard as you can!!
Into the waves of love
Love me, fight me, choke me, bite me
The DNC is playing dirty
Text me, touch me, call me daddy
I’m so sad I can’t do laundry
MMMOOOAAAAAYAYA
Illuminati fucking Hotties, ladies and gentlemen, this is the one you’ve been waiting for.
That is all.
More Please
2018 #16, 2016 #112 (!!!), 2013 #15
They came number one hundred and twelfth in 2016?! Sorry, I’ve just made myself feel a little ill by reminding myself of how many fucking albums I used to include on this dumb year end list that nobody reads. I did one hundred and seventeen albums in total that year, in one of the greatest years for music of the last two decades at least, so The Joys were unfortunately near the bottom of the pile with easily their weakest album. Dead bottom was Damian Lazarus who – and you’ll like this – actually slagged me off on Twitter because of the review!! I mean, fuck me, I know these days I am The Most Trusted Voice in Music™, but back then I think I had about 300 views in total across the whole year!! I had only just started my current Twitter account and had nine followers!! Damian Lazarus, you absolute fucking muppet.
That retweet was from me, because it was fucking hilarious. And I stand with my response at the time:
I still think I suit a bald head,you know?
Continue reading “33 The Joy Formidable: Into the Blue”
Yeah, I know, looking at that contemporary photograph of The Archies there, you might worry that there were real issues with representation in the late 60s, but if it makes you feel any better know that three of the members were proudly out homosexuals, two did not identify with the gender they were assigned at birth, and one was a literal dog.
Continue reading “34 Dua Saleh: CROSSOVER”
Necessary Evil 