They had it. Then they lost it. Eternal shame on all of their souls
Illuminati Hotties
(disqualified after 2024’s ‘Power)
Boom, we’re flying through these now. Not a lot to say about my celebrity crush Sarah Tudzin’s project right now, as they are no way near releasing their (inevitable) masterpiece yet, and their three releases so far don’t really require such a deep dive. I still think their debut ‘Kiss Yr Frenemies’ (#57 in 2018) is their best so far (and, in Patience, contains their best song); their extravagantly titled second album ‘Free I.H (This Is Not the One You’ve Been Waiting For)’ (#67 in 2020) was far better than any record cobbled together to fulfil a recording contract has any right to be; and the third record, ‘Let Me Do One More’ (#32 in 2021) was a triumphant sounding rock record. That’s all for now, but keep ’em coming. Love me, fight me, choke me, bite me.
Soccer Mommy
(disqualified after 2024’s ‘Evergreen’)
Right, so Soccer Mommy made it on did she? Great.
Before revisiting Sophia Allison’s back catalogue, I was a bit stupefied that she’d managed to back door herself onto this extended Mount Rushmore of notable artists. I had recently decided that she was chronically and scientifically.
and her status as the most
artist on this list might only be challenged by Japanese Breakfast. I thought there was next to no chance of her not being removed from this list as soon as I heard her next album and deigned not to include it.
But now, after revisiting all three of her albums… yeah, I still pretty much feel the same, but I realised there were some pretty hefty thumbs being pressed on the scales of my feelings towards her by a most recent album that had largely bored me to tears. The debut album ‘Clean’ (#60 2018) is a lovely little 90s rock homage, and the follow-up ‘Color Theory’ (#46 2020) was a pretty great album! And her highest place! Not even in the top 40! However, I thought ‘Sometimes, Forever’ (#77 2022) was a bit of a directionless and uninspired dirge in many places, which has coloured my view of the artist of a whole. To be clear, I now realise that Soccer Mommy may not be ‘dull’ as I feared, but may instead by ‘OK sometimes’. She’ll still have to markedly improve to get a fourth album on the countdown.
Japanese Breakfast
(disqualified after 2025’s ‘For Melancholy Brunettes (& Sad Women)’)
Wow, some people really just snuck onto this list, huh?
I have no strong feelings towards Japanese Breakfast. I’ve kind of long thought that I should like them, but across their six year career I can honestly say that I’ve only really liked two of their songs. Their debut ‘Psychopomp’ (#57 in 2016) was kinda cute, and their third album ‘Jubilee’ (#71 in 2021) absolutely had its moments:
Listen, I love Michelle Zauner. I think she often makes wonderful music. I believe she honestly has one of my favourite singing voices. I just misspelt ‘singing’ as ‘songing’. That made me laugh, so also thanks to Ms Zauner for that. Her songing is also top notch. She strikes me as absolutely an alpha level giga chad, her favourite Manics song is Nostalgic Pushead and she seems to know exactly what’s up and how best to combat it. I would go as far as saying she may be one of the most important voices in modern culture. I never actually got around to reading her book, but I’m going to pretend I did and tell you all how awesome it is.
‘Jubilee’ is really the sound of Zauner clenching those brass rings with sharpened claws and… it just doesn’t quite make it. It sounds somewhat constrained and inhibited, and though its high point (like one of the year’s best singles that we’ll talk about later) are as god as anything released this year, the record too often falls back into a repetitive tone and singular mood that can sometimes drag.A certified genius, 2021
That second album, ‘Soft Sounds From Another Planet’ (#51 in 2017, their highest ranked album ever because year end lists are nonsense) though? By God, that is weak. An absolute paint drying in dish water ‘ambient’ drone that must be by far the least effectual album I’ll mention in this entire post.
I’ll be honest, I kind of hope their next album is a stinker that doesn’t make the year end list so we can just forget that they were ever considered a Gold Star Artist.
Saba
(disqualified after2025’s ‘From the Private Collection of Saba and No I.D.’)
OK, I didn’t realise that Saba was Legit until today, but I wanna finish this post sometime this decade so going to blast through this a bit. Debut ‘Bucket List Project’ (#69, dude, 2016) was an intriguing debut from an obviously singular voice, but ‘Care for Me’ (#32 2018) was the masterpiece, suggesting that Tahj Malik Chandler was capable of crafting amazingly thoughtful and intelligent art projects. Unfortunately, ‘Few Good Things’ (#35 2022) had the temerity to just be an incredible album, but we now know his talent for playing to both crowds and his next project will be fascinating.
Necessary Evil 