Category: Uncategorized

44: FFS: FFS

~ Lex Leeson ~ Leave a comment

A collaboration between Frank Ferdinand and Sparks (do you see what they did there? Do you? Do you see?) with eyebrows archly raised so high that they spike out of your media player and cause great danger to overflying aeroplanes. There’s even a song called ‘Collaborations Don’t Work‘! Do you see? Do you get it? Do you see? Do you see do you see do you see? Do you fucking SEE?! While the obvious response to such a successful product would be to assume that Sparks have acted as some sort of muse for FF to produce their best album for more than a decade, the truth is this is really more a Sparks album with FF being nice enough to provide backing band duties to give the tracks a little extra oomph (umph? Umff?). But so what? More bands should be willing to throw their weight behind some of their biggest influences to allow the cult concerns one last pay day, especially if the results are as enjoyable as this.

‘Fun’ Fact: When Franz first floated the idea of a joint album via email, the Mael brothers responded by sending back the song ‘Piss Off‘

I’m in the mood to twiddle my moustache while cackling to a song’s devilishly smart double meaning, what do you recommend? Well, the whole album really, but why not start with ‘Call Girl‘?

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45: SOAK: Before We Forget How to Dream

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The debut album by SOAK (standing for ‘Such Onanism Angers Klaatu’) is a quintessential teenage album in many ways: it’s frequently dramatic; massively self-absorbed; can be either be undeniably lovely or infuriatingly meandering if it wants; gets its heart broken every five minutes yet goes back again yearning for the same feeling of hurt again; and is on the whole rather a confused affair. If anything you wish it would exhibit a little more teenage stereotypes such as recklessness and stupidity: this is a far too mature and safe sounding record for a 19 year old. It is however fantastically listenable and Bridie Monds-Watson’s (ha!) unique voice promises further amazement in the future

‘Fun’ Fact: Bridie was born nearly two weeks after Germany beat England in the semi-finals of Euro 96, which just isn’t possible

What?? You say her voice is ‘unique’ when it is CLEARLY a take on Charisma Coolay, who fronted Hungary’s biggest band Glacier Mince way back in 1985, did you somehow just forget them?? Sigh, just shut up and listen to ‘Be a noBody‘

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46: Drake: If You’re Reading This It’s Too Late

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It’s always delightful when a rapper decides that his main albums are a little too short, exhibit far too much direction and don’t contain nearly enough songs, so releases a mix album that satisfies all the fans who wished his major releases were a little more rambling and less focused. But seriously though folks ‘If You’re…’ is actually rather marvellous in places, and it’s never less than fascinating to hear Drake without the commercial constraints of his major label works. There’s no hit single or club banger here, the tone is very much one of a guy crawling back from the pub and deciding that he really can’t be arsed with it all. Drake also did another album this year, but… y’know…

‘Fun’ Fact: Like all the best Americans, Drake is Canadian

OK, picture this: you’re a record company executive with a gun to his head and you have to pick ONE song to be the lead single, which one is it? This is a scenario I can only imagine playing out every day in music company boardrooms across the world. ‘Preach‘ just might fit the bill.

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47: Gaz Coombes: Matador

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No band were more fun in the 90s than Supergrass, not only did the band capture perfectly the exuberance and sheer insanity of loving life they were also maybe the greatest singles band of the era, like if all the members of ABBA had mutton chops (i.e.: perfection). In fact, stop reading this now, go and listen to the ‘Supergrass Is 10‘ best-of, I’ll be here when you come back, don’t worry…

…

Back?

OK:

The problem is that now lead singer Coombes feels he has to stress just how mature he is now, his second solo album couldn’t be more mature if it were a vintage cheddar left to age for 18 months, and of course fun just isn’t what mature people do, is it? There isn’t a bad song on ‘Matador’, but nor is there a song that burrows itself in the brain like his former band’s best did: I’ve been listening to this fucker since January and couldn’t tell you the name of any of the songs without checking the track listing. In my dreams Coombes solo music would unfettered insanity, he’d exhibit kaleidoscopic musical ingenuity after being let lose from the strains Supergrass imposed upon him, instead we get rather pallid music that- brilliant as it occasionally is- can’t help but ever so slightly underwhelm.

‘Fun’ Fact: At the height of their success, Steven Spielberg approached Supergrass with the idea of creating a Monkees style TV show starring the band. Yes, I know this is one of those facts that everybody knows, comparably shocking to revealing how Big Mo off EastEnders is Gary Oldman’s sister, but it bears repeating just so we can all consider how awesome that would have been.

So wait, do you actually like that album?? Absolutely! It’s not perfect but ‘The English Ruse‘ is just one example of the heights it scales

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48: Keith Richards: Crosseyed Heart

~ Lex Leeson ~ 1 Comment

Keith Richards is a grand old fool. He’s a stupid, egotistical, blustering crap bucket of self-importance who keeps being convinced of his own importance by fawning fans and embarrassing rock critics queuing up to perform endless acts of fellatio upon him.

‘Oh, but he’s so cool! He took so many drugs and is still alive!’

Do you know why? He’s not this magical shaman of true rock & roll spirit, he’s just very rich and so can afford to be alive. He once made made quite good records decades ago that your parents had sex to and now is smugly living off the tax-evading proceeds, any respect for Keith Richards is no better than George Osborne levels of wealth deference. He has as much relevance in 2015 as that debate over who is the sexiest member of the Romanov royal family and we should treat his nonsense like ‘rap is for tone-deaf people‘ with the same importance we reserve for that drunk old guy at the bus shelter who pisses on your shoe. However: parts of this album are rather magnificent, while it’s hardly anything new and could have been released in 1964 there’s still some radio rock pop of the absolute highest standard, just make sure you skip the track whenever Keith tries his hand at some other genre like blues or (my God!) cod-reggae.

‘Fun’ Fact: Mr Richards once sent Tony Blair a letter in support of the Iraq War, instructing the then Prime Minister to ‘keep on rocking’. Seriously, the man’s a massive fucking tool

I’ve not got a lot of time buddy, just give me a quick blast of Keef If you ever spell Keith with an ‘F’ again we are no longer talking. ‘Illusion‘ is rather lovely

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49: The Darkness: Last of Our Kind

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The Darkies (hmmm, probably best that kids don’t call them that) went from being the biggest and best thing in the world to being the absolute worst and most hated in record breaking time, and their fourth album may see them win 2015’s coveted ‘Are They Still Going??’ award. Literally 140% (in your face mathematics) of the people reading this will hate this album without ever listening to it, which is a shame as it’s a brilliantly crafted and passionately performed rock set. You feel that The Darkness have done away with all pretence now and are only making great cock rock fun unashamed of neither its inspirations nor its intentions. Their music is still unimaginably silly at times of course, but now you sense there is no dreaded irony involved at all, merely a genuine love of their genre.

‘Fun’ Fact: The band recently went through three drummers in the space of a year, gardening accidents bizarre or otherwise unspecified, before finally settling on the son of Queen’s Roger Taylor. You can’t write this shit.

What’s just the right amount of silly? Lead single ‘Barbarian‘ of course

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50: Matthew E White: Fresh Blood

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Yes, yes, the album’s very good, but it’s essentially one splendiferously amazing song and nine other tracks that can’t possibly compete with its marvel. However, that one track is easily good enough on its own to sell ten albums.

‘Fun’ Fact: The Accomarca Massacre, which saw up to 74 unarmed men, women and children killed in Peru, put a bit of a downer on Matthew E White’s 3rd birthday on August 14th 1985

Is’splendiferously’ even a word? How else would you describe ‘Rock & Roll Is Cold‘?

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51: Micachu & The Shapes: Good Sad Happy Bad

~ Lex Leeson ~ 1 Comment

M & The S’s (totally what the kids are calling them) debut album ‘Jewellery’ was an avant-garde masterpiece in 2009, but now sounds about as commercially viable as Phil Collins’s ‘No Jacket Required’ in comparison to the esoteric and doggedly anti-listenable directions Mica Levi’s pulled the band in since. Their sound- hardly Last Night of the Proms to begin with- has been stripped back and then stripped back and then stripped back and then oh JESUS stripped back some more until it’s now so minimalist that it’s practically offensive. Micachu is obviously aiming to make it sound as if she’s putting as little effort as absolutely possible into her music: is this a challenging masterpiece or just plain lazy?? Fuck! This album is fucking impossible to review!

‘Fun’ Fact: Mica Levi aka Micachu composed the absolute-stone-solid-gold genius score to ‘Under the Skin‘, which makes this album all the more mystifying and infuriating

So can you, like, even recommend just one song off that? Probably not, but at least ‘Oh Baby‘ will give you an idea of what the album’s about

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52: Balthazar: Thin Walls

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This album was recorded in sporadic bursts whenever the Belgian band had any time off at all from their hectic touring schedule, so it’s a mystery how despite being born from such chaos their third album sees them sound like the world’s most laid back band. Not so much relaxed per se, more that this album is the sound of someone who’s partied hard all night and at 5am is really considering whether it’s time to go to bed now. Chamber pop par excellence that perhaps peaks at track five and tails off ever so slightly but is still a wonderful collection, though one that’s probably best used to perfectly pass the time rather than truly lose yourself in

‘Fun’ Fact: ‘Name a famous Belgium’ has been scientifically proven as the most boring thing it’s possible to say, especially if you follow it by smugly declaring ‘Not counting Poirot!!’

Peaks at track five? What’s that then? ‘Wait Any Longer‘. You know you could really just look that up?

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53: Years & Years: Communion

~ Lex Leeson ~ 1 Comment

There’s something undeniably and inherently dislikeable about Years & Years: maybe it’s the association with the Brit Awards Critics’ Choice (bleugh!) award, which in the past has seen the nation’s most respected and influential people that could be easily and cheaply contacted at short notice choose whichever acts will irritate everyone the most over the next 12 months (Sam Smith, Tom Odell, Jessie J); perhaps it’s the fact that they generally look like spotty students accosting you outside Boots trying to get you to sign a petition banning the student union bar from playing ‘Jump Around‘ by House of Pain; maybe it’s because singer Olly Alexander once acted in fucking Skins. Whatever the reason, they frequently disarm that hatred by crafting music that’s close to divine, commercial without sounding soullessly contrived and bridging pop and dance rather irritatingly well. The album isn’t a constant success, but its highs are magnificently high.

Hmmm… ‘If your girl steps up I’m slapping the ho’… Maybe that song should be banned…

‘Fun’ Fact: Olly Alexander’s acting talents aren’t limited to ‘Skins’: he once played a ‘demanding shopper’ in the ‘Google Analytics in Real Life Site Search’ corporate video, and most intriguingly appeared in the film ‘Funny Bunny’ as a character called ‘Titty’.

‘Its highs are magnificently high’? I find that very hard to believe… ‘Shine‘ is one of the best pop songs of recent years

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