48: Keith Richards: Crosseyed Heart

Keith Richards is a grand old fool. He’s a stupid, egotistical, blustering crap bucket of self-importance who keeps being convinced of his own importance by fawning fans and embarrassing rock critics queuing up to perform endless acts of fellatio upon him.

‘Oh, but he’s so cool! He took so many drugs and is still alive!’

Do you know why? He’s not this magical shaman of true rock & roll spirit, he’s just very rich and so can afford to be alive. He once made made quite good records decades ago that your parents had sex to and now is smugly living off the tax-evading proceeds, any respect for Keith Richards is no better than George Osborne levels of wealth deference. He has as much relevance in 2015 as that debate over who is the sexiest member of the Romanov royal family and we should treat his nonsense like ‘rap is for tone-deaf people‘ with the same importance we reserve for that drunk old guy at the bus shelter who pisses on your shoe. However: parts of this album are rather magnificent, while it’s hardly anything new and could have been released in 1964 there’s still some radio rock pop of the absolute highest standard, just make sure you skip the track whenever Keith tries his hand at some other genre like blues or (my God!) cod-reggae.

‘Fun’ Fact: Mr Richards once sent Tony Blair a letter in support of the Iraq War, instructing the then Prime Minister to ‘keep on rocking’. Seriously, the man’s a massive fucking tool

I’ve not got a lot of time buddy, just give me a quick blast of Keef If you ever spell Keith with an ‘F’ again we are no longer talking. ‘Illusion‘ is rather lovely

Album Link

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