Hey, remember a few weeks ago when I basically just took far too long just to tell you that Nick Cave’s transcendent ‘Ghosteen‘ was the best album of 2019? Well, with that still fresh in your mind, I thought we should take the opportunity to kick back and…
Holy shit! That was eleven months ago!? Are you sure?? I’ve only been into work, like, three times since then?? How could 332 days have passed when I’ve only had two showers?? I haven’t fed my pet Chinchilla! Poor little Ho Chinchilla Minh, how’s he doing?
Does this mean… just after enjoying finishing the freaking thing… I’ve got to.. do it all over again…?
Yeah, yeah, etc and so on, insert COVID-19 joke here, shake thoroughly, make a Trolls 2 reference that nobody is likely to get, mention banana bread, decant into glass, you know the drill by now.
I’m going to keep the references to the hilarious/horrendously traumatic* state of 2020 as light as possible, as you all very likely get enough of that shit in your daily life. The wider issues surrounding 2020 won’t be ignored, because art isn’t created in a bubble and context is everything, but this won’t just be me flicking through my big book of Coronavirus standard lines and bad jokes and somehow trying to connect them to my response to the latest Glass Animals album. Unless, of course, I think of a really funny line about it, then there’s always the very real threat of me repeating that joke a thousand times. I’ve never been one for letting a good idea go before flogging it to dust long after it becomes painfully out of place. You knew this when you married me.
(*delete as appropriate. Or just, y’know, keep both. That’s also appropriate)
And anyway, quite a lot of other stuff happened this year as well, you know? I got married, for example. Yeah, honestly. That wasn’t a joke. That bit when I said that it wasn’t a joke? Also not a joke. When I said that the time that I said my marriage not being a joke was also not a joke? I wasn’t joking when I said that either. I might tell you about it but, far more likely, I’ll tell you rabid vultures sweet freaking nothing about it. Mainly because- seriously?- mind your own freaking beeswax.
But also because- sweet mother of Mary Jesus Bono!!- there were some cracking albums released this year. I’m not sure there were any true all timers, but- Holy mackerel manufactured Charlie Brown!!- the general quality of at least 50 and perhaps (gulp) more records released (and, erm, ‘considered’) in 2020 was almost scandalously high. Rather excitingly, we technically have seven artists who have previously finished top of this list gunning for that never before achieved second winning album. On top of that, a further three artists who have released works that I’ve named the most important album of a certain year. So that also means… something… doesn’t it…? On top of that, because of general far better uses of my time that were not present in previous years’ lists (relating somewhat to the addition of the aforementioned new freaking family to my lens of responsibilities, but also my further adventures into immigration law) I won’t be dedicating/squandering quite as much time to 2020’s list as I have in previous years. I had two choices: Either write a response to every album that might be worth a mention because of the quality or importance but so greatly reduce the time spent on each that it renders the list pointless. Or, take the time to properly analyse the few most outstanding albums of the year, even if it makes the list far shorter than it’s been in the past. I think you’ll agree that I made the right decision.
But first: I started 2019’s list by naming my favourite film of the year. Unfortunately, films don’t happen anymore, and the last film I went to the cinema to see- and, therefore, the only film that I remember seeing- was seriously Bad Boys for Life. So, this year you get my reaction to a different form of art…
…”Holy mackerel manufactured Charlie Brown”?? The fuck does that mean?? The “Mary Jesus Bono” one worked a bit, so I thought I’d try another one and completely cocked it up. See what I mean about flogging jokes way past their death?? Wait… do I mean ‘their’ or ‘there’…?
Good start, Alex. Good, solid start,
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