Necessary Evil 2020 pt.7 (45-41)

#45 Jarv Is: Beyond the Pale

I mean… that kinda works, right? Jarvis Cocker splitting his first name into two words, then adding the title of the album to make it seem that you’re making the statement that “Jarv is beyond the pale”. Like, OK, I get it, but to buy into the pun yo have to accept that Jarvis now goes by the name ‘Jarv’ which, come on, mate, that’s a dumb fucking name that ain’t nobody going to answer to. I’m calling you out, Jarvy Boy! I don’t buy into the conceit that the title of your fourth solo album aims to evoke!! Bring it on, Jarv! Anytime, any pla… Actually, not any place. My choice of place. I worry that he’ll have us both do battle in Sheffield, and according to my beliefs about the Steel City that may well resemble the closing scene of Terminator 2. I worry that wouldn’t play to my strengths as a fighter. It’ll likely to be in the Ippon Judo Club in Cheadle. I got a green belt there about 20 years ago, so watch your fucking back, Jarv!!

The album’s great though, successfully hitting references and inspirations as diverse as Leonard Cohen and Kraftwerk. Also, the line “Dragging my knuckles/Listening to Frankie Knuckles” is worth a bump of a few places at least.

Metacritic: 86

The highest so far. Because, unlike me, other critics are scared of his bullshit!!

2009 (no.28)

Continue reading “Necessary Evil 2020 pt.7 (45-41)”

My Life in Albums (part 3 07-20/death)

Put my mind at ease, pretty please, I need your hands on me, sweet relief, pretty please…

Yeah, I’m in a good mood, what of it? Wanna fight about it? Bring it on, I bet I’ll have you kissing me before the first punch lands, because how can you stay angry at this face?? My good mood mainly arises from three reasons. Firstly, longtime reader Beryl got in touch to tell me how she enjoyed the last post, and only made the polite suggestion that this series could be improved if it…

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incorporated more hardcore scat pornography?? Jesus fucking Christ, Beryl. Honestly, whenever I’m that close to relaxing that restraining order, you come out with something that sends us back to square one. Maybe I’m at fault here for expecting more from someone I met on the online scatological fetish dating app ‘ScatrBraind‘, but I just always assumed she was interested in the person around the fecal matter, y’know?

Anyway, the second reason is that this will definitely be the final part in this series, allowing me to abandon my blog again to return to my three real loves (masturbating, crying, and masturbating while crying. Mainly the third, if I’m being completely honest).  Thirdly, and perhaps most importantly, we are now actually into the years where I made a point of listing the best albums, so this part should be an absolute piece of piss! Look at the header of this blog- I’ve already got my best albums of 07-19 listed! I just need to copy those albums down again for this entry! It’s 8:53 now, and I’ll have all this done and dusted in time for my traditional 9am cry! Let’s do this shit!!

Continue reading “My Life in Albums (part 3 07-20/death)”

11: Grimes: Art Angels

Claire Boucher is an absolute motherfucker, releasing her fourth album as Grimes in early November and forcing me to attempt to force feed the work into my brain, employing young Victorian urchins to shovel piles of it into my ears for 20 hours a day as I considered whether the work deserved a place on this list, the most desired attainment in the business.


…and it absolutely does, ‘Art Angels’ is an absolute masterpiece that I imagine will be regarded in the future as one of 2015’s most significant albums, maybe one of the decade’s. I have a feeling that if this were released in June it would be number 1 on this list, it demands infinitely more time poured into it than I have managed. Grimes possesses the astonishing ability to shine as both an experimental avant-garde art project and also retain the ability to craft absolutely irrefutable perfect pop. There are whole dissertations to be written on the way Grimes subverts and exposes sexist ideas and assumptions of females in pop music, but I feel after less than a month clutching this album close to my breast has afforded me time ‘only’ to marvel at the astonishing production, incredible ambition, and the songs themselves which are…




In the future Grimes will be regarded as maybe the most critical and substantial artist of the 2010s, so you may as well get on board now.

‘Fun’ Fact: The online music magazine Pitchfork once described Grimes as a ‘human Tumblr’. Honestly, we should organise a boycott or something…

‘Human Tumblr’? What does that even mean?? I have no fucking idea, to be honest I’m not 100% sure what ‘Tumblr’ is. I’m also struggling to recommend just one song here, the album is just hit after hit, maybe just start with the single ‘Flesh Without Blood

Album Link