The Ga has managed to avoid me thus far. When she first arrived and was at her successful and cultural highpoint, I was in my mid 20s and so obviously far too cool to really like her, and she was just far too big a deal to like ironically, as my overwhelming snarky self-satisfaction would have been lost in the midst of all those pathetic genuine fans

-4

Plus…

…

…

…she was a bit crap, wasn’t she? I mean, come on

-13

She was an absolutely brilliant pop star, exhibiting shades of both Bowie’s artistic mindedness and Prince’s

delight in using both sexuality and fashion to subvert and offend, and the world needs pop stars who are willing to shock the order by stroking their genitals across the dead body of Kermit the Frog while projectile vomiting raw meet <I can’t find the incident to which you are referring, can you please clarify?- Ed>

+5

Oh, and for prior services to fashion Googoo gets

8 Prince Points

But, yeah, songs like the dull electronica of Poker Face or the shameless pandering of Born This way were always several shades less interesting and experimental than the person from whence they came

-3

So, maybe I’m too late, and the Gagoo I discover is producing significantly better music, but the terms of the agreement she made with God unfortunately means she is now about 12.5% as interesting as she used to be

-9

That atrocious lyric is slightly redeemed by the chorus though, which is the inaugural recipient of my

award, which awards a singer finding new and exciting way to work their mouth around a lyric:

Metacritic: +67

Length 45 minutes +1

Number of AMAZING songs: 1 (+10)

Best Lyric: ‘She’s stacking money, money everywhere she goes/You know, pesos out of Mexico/De uno, commas and them decimals/She don’t gotta give it up, she professional’ +1

Is the last song just the first track but played on Ukulele? No -1

Total 66

Images stolen from:

http://gagadaily.com/forums/topic/243627-has-gaga-ever-lip-synced/

http://www.animalplanet.com/pets/healthy-pets/what-does-it-mean-when-your-cat-licks-you/

http://www.istockphoto.com/gb/illustrations/vomit?excludenudity=true&sort=mostpopular&mediatype=illustration&phrase=vomit

http://www.wwe.com/superstars/razor-ramon/razor-ramon-photos#fid-26074025

http://www.nbcsandiego.com/entertainment/music/Lady-Gaga-Beyonce-Premiere-Tarantino-Inspired-Telephone-Video-87444397.html

http://gagadaily.com/forums/topic/201964-joanne-album-cover-meltdowns-go-in-here/?page=3