Legit Bosses: 2021’s 121 Greatest Songs

You know it’s all about that boom! Legit Bosses, baybay!*

(*yeah, that song isn’t actually included. It’ll be on Legit Bosses 2022 though! I’m just a bit slow with these things…)

So, only 121 this year, a marked decline on 2020’s 125. So was it a notably worse year? Absolutely chuffing not. Despite the 2.928% drop in numbers, the quality on show is outstanding. Never mind the weight, feel the quality. The top maybe twenty songs especially are on some next level shit, and you haven’t seen so many GOATs since you traumatically happened upon Weird Uncle Colin’s problematic porn collection back in 92. I also shaved a few songs last minute, mainly because they were from albums due to be released in 2022 and I decided to make them Next Year Alex’s problem. Also, one or two I realised… weren’t… actually… that… good… So that just means the 121 that made the cut are all of such spectacular quality that you may want to warn the people around you before you start reading this list, as the floor between your legs is about to get soaked.

No, no, hey, maybe it’s you that’s too gross, ever considered that??

Anyway, let the festivities begin, here are the playlists:

Spotify

YouTube

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Necessary Evil 2021 (81 -71)

81 Jon Hopkins: Music for Psychedelic Therapy

(2018 #62, 2013 #11)

I feel I can’t rank this record any higher. It’s designed to accompany a drug trip and I have been stone cold and continuously, shamelessly sober since its release three weeks ago. Well…kinda… all my prescription medications kind of mean I’m blissfully high as a kite 24 hours a day so as not to acknowledge the overwhelming pain of day to day existence. But that’s my norm, so it doesn’t count. Sometime in January, I’m going to take some psychedelics and then blog about my altogether more valid opinion. That’s not a joke. It’s an excuse to take drugs as a professional study, why on Earth would I turn that down?

Yeah, it’s a bad idea, but name one good idea in my wntire life? And look how succesful I am. Exactly. Expect a potentially life destroying blog entry some weekend in January. You realise that I’m killing myself for your entertainment? Good. Just checking we’re on the same page.

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Stats Off To You, Sir 2017

The Only Reason I Do This Fucking List

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Yaaaay!! A statistical breakdown of 2017’s albums!! Suddenly, all those wasted evenings desperately bashing out 1000 words of utter shite on Muna or something finally comes to fruition!! I get to do a mathematical breakdown of the findings!! Kinda get tired reading more than 100 words but enjoy looking at pretty pictures? Yeah, me too…

This post is just for you!!

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(number 3)

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51 Japanese Breakfast: Soft Sounds From Another Planet

Turns Out I’d Probably Prefer it Hard

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This is a really, really, really… really… really lovely album…

As I’ve previously explained, there are two things that you must not under any circumstances do as a musical artist, as either direction quickly leads you down the path of obsolescence, of fan hatred or, more often, both.

  • Firstly, you have to constantly update and evolve your sound. If fans suspect that you’re not making enough progression between albums than you’ll quickly be tossed on the scrapheap as an obvious one trick pony emperor with no clothes*
  • Secondally, you must never change your music or make significant alterartions to the way you sound: people hate change, and if your new record doesn’t sound exactly like your last then your fanbase will feel like it’s been betrayed, you’ll forever be known as the act that used to be good, before they went far too pop/rock/dance/country/gypsy folk/emo/Baby Metal and all the sheeps started liking them. Sure, you can try and recreate the sound of that last LP later in your career, but everyone will see through that as an offensively blatant reach for their approval, and somehow hate you even more, and this record you release will universally decreed as being the lamest album ever!!

To recount: change is essential, but also the worst thing you could possibly do

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57 Japanese Breakfast: Psychopomp

I’m not a particularly interesting person, and being a white, heterosexual male from middle class stock makes me pretty default in Britain, so I often talk about my time in China in order to keep people’s attention

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Well, yes, there’s the disability I have, but that’s healed to the extent that people rarely even bring it up, and if they do, what am I supposed to tell them? The truth? That it was a suicide attempt?? I am governmentally recognised as a ‘Top Lad’ and diverting information like that is sure to kill the bantz. No, just say I had an accident in China and hope the subject changes

+5

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