Tag: erotic fucking baboon

54 Queens of the Stone Age: Villians

~ Lex Leeson ~ 3 Comments

My Strawberry Bond

To be honest, QoTSA’s 267th album was very close to being shaved off this list, it was one of the many 2017 releases that I figured might not quite have enough legitimate quality and noteworthy talking points to justify a place on (kayfabe) this year’s list. I worried that there weren’t really a massive amount of memorable moments, or that its bracing voodoo rock might not have really stand up to the best moments of their (admittedly colossal) back catalogue. In the end though, I felt that I earned it to the band to award them an invite to the party, chiefly for one small and ever so slightly embarrassing reason:

Josh Homme is the world’s coolest ginger.

 

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55 Amanda Palmer & Edward Ka-Spel: I Can Spin a Rainbow

~ Lex Leeson ~ 4 Comments

A Vanity Projection of all Seven Colours

What are the best things? Like, what is the stuff you really like best?

The good stuff, right? The things that are are generally of superior quality, the things that are made up of such unarguable value that their very existence seems to increase the very worth of your being even just an iota. The things that are either useful or beautiful.

Some people say they like bad stuff. They’ll swear that they definitely see quality or usefulness in the music of Phil Collins, eating non-magic mushrooms, the films of Adam Sandler, fascism, and organic food*. These people may often claim ‘irony’, but that’s only because they don’t understand what ‘irony’ means. But these people don’t actually like bad things because they’re bad, they secretly like them because they’re too stupid to realise that they’re bad, and actually think they’re good. These people are absolute idiots, potentially dangerous, and should be disregarded in any serious debate.

There’s stuff that tries to  be bad- your Sharknados, your Donald Trumps**, your Blink 182s. This is the bottom of the barrel, merely a celebration of renouncing ambition and lowering expectation. These things, and the people who like them, are just celebrating nihilism rather than anarchy. These people are absolute idiots, potentially dangerous, and should be disregarded in any serious debate.

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56 Young M.A: Herstory

~ Lex Leeson ~ 16 Comments

Old A.P Loves Young M.A

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I always appreciate cultural recommendations: if you mention a song, album, movie, TV show or wrestling match you think I’d like, or simply something that you really like yourself, I will always afford it close consideration. I once watched a fricking eleven hour movie in freaking Korean (the lamestream media claim it’s only 2 hours 36 minutes, but it’s definitely eleven hours! #FakeNews) and an entire TV series about American football just because a friend suggested I do so. If someone is really interested in something, it’s always worth investigating. Chiefly for the following reasons:

(Bwa-ha-ha! That should ensure they click the ‘read more’ link!! #Clickbait)

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59 Taylor Swift: Reputation

~ Lex Leeson ~ 12 Comments

OK, Christ, I’ll try and stay more on point for this one…

Swift’s Immodest Supposal*

“Love made me crazy If it doesn’t, you ain’t doin’ it right”

When did that become the accepted view? Why are we still selling the idea that ‘real’ love is supposed to be difficult? Can’t we have a few songs about how you met someone who also thought that ‘Nevermind’ was an overrated album and made you smile a noticeably increased amount of times? If ‘love’ is driving you crazy, it doesn’t prove that you’re ‘doing it right’, it proves that one or both of you is a little mentally unstable and absolutely not good for each other.

I’m going to break it down in a completely scientific and not in the least bit cynical way:

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Best Albums of 2013: Necessary Evil’s Chris Benoit

~ Lex Leeson ~ 92 Comments

I’ve tried to put this off for a long time: the 2013 best albums list that I originally emailed off to ‘friends’ and ‘allies’ around Christmas that year is the final collection to be posted onto the webisphere and officially archived. I considered never doing it, denying its existence and never admitting to the shameful mistakes it contains. However, when I write my NE2017 list (soon, I promise) I want to make a point of referring to artists’ past entries in the Necessary Evil Blogging Universe (NEBU), so I’ve relented and made it available to read.

I was mainly worried about two things: firstly, I spent 6 months of 2013 in hospital, occasionally politely coughing and making my existence known to death’s door, so the fact that I managed to still mash out a top 50 at year’s end- while being an astonishing achievement warranting some achievements in disability award- makes me assume that a large portion of it will be unreadable madness.

Yes, very funny: more so than usual

Secondly, Arctic Monkey’s award for best album was soon revoked in light of their tax dodging selfishness, and the records for 2013 now show Hjaltalin’s astonishing ‘Enter 4′ as the greatest album, as despite it only finishing 5th in this initial list, by the time Arctic Monkey’s were stripped of the award it had grown into my favourite release of the year. Arctic Monkey’s win in 2013 is now viewed in the Necessary Evil Online Community (NEOC) with the same divisiveness as Benoit’s Wrestlemania 20 Heavyweight Championship win, and doubtless the posting of this list will be viewed as an extremely controversial move by victims of the Arctic Monkeys’ crimes. I apologise for any offence caused, but you must understand the importance of establising the legitimacy of NEBU.

So, I re-read the list for the first time in years and…

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It’s…

…

…

…not bad. Not bad at all. In fact, I’d say that 2013 might contain some of my best and most incisive actual music writing, and I didn’t cringe nearly as much as I feared. Jesus, some of the entries (The Strokes, Arcade Fire, Kanye West…) are some of the best normal writing I’ve ever done! From death to coherence: I’m such a fucking inspirational figure

It’s far from perfect- I make a quip about Bowie not dying, I’m a little too subtly sexist in my Haim review, Steve Mason is number fucking two…- but I’m not completely overwhelmed by shame posting them

Also: Daft Punk are only no.42, Vampire Weekend 34, that’s pretty gangsta…

NE2017 soon, I promise

I love you all

Except you…

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