The ‘Lanches are a shining example of why
25 Avalanches: Wildflower
Author: Lex Leeson
Unrecognised genius, or maybe pathetic pleas for validation, or perhaps even both
26 A Tribe Called Quest: We got it from Here… Thank You 4 Your Service
We love it when old people can still do stuff, don’t we?
+12
Roughly seven times every day local news recommends that we celebrate the fact that a 98 year old man still has his job as Tesco’s, inviting us to applaud open mouthed in marvel that an old person is still able to stack shelves for 8 hours a week without frequently shitting himself
+15
Not frequently…
+21
My Gran is a real inspiration, as she’s 94 yet still walks up to two miles a day to post dog excrement through the letter box of immigrant families’ houses
+18
Continue reading “26 A Tribe Called Quest: We got it from Here… Thank You 4 Your Service”
27 David Bowie: Blackstar
Aw, dude, so many people died in 2016, yeah??
+36
I mean, how many fatalities were there in Haiti because of Hurricaine Mathew? At least 500, but some people put the death rate at closer to 1000!
+37
Aw man, and the Syrian civil war, yeah?! About 470’000 people have died in that! 2016 was, like, such a bad year for deaths!
+17
Aw, dude, and the illegal Saudi Arabian intervention in Yemen! Which Britain is partly funding and yet barely reporting on it at all! The UN reports that there’s been over 10’000 deaths there, including 3’799 civilians! Man, 2016 sucked!!
+37
28 Andrew Bird: Are You Serious
No question mark?
Remember a while back when I mentioned that I’d applied for a place on a OISC (Office of Immigration… Studies…? Commission…?)n which, if I passed, would allow me to chalk off one of the items on my bucket list and start moving into Immigration Law?
+35
29 Rihanna: Anti
No artist currently working has as amazing a back catalogue of hit singles as Ri-Ri
+2
Don’t agree? Diamonds? Umbrella? We Found Love? Only Girl? Take a Bow? Rude Boy? Disturbia? SOS? Shut Up and Drive? Don’t Stop the Music? Rehab? California King Bed? Banger, banger, banger, banger, fucking banger!!
+13
If you take away the terrible singles from great singles, I’d put Paul McCartney at about -57, whereas Ri-Ri has barely any stinkers blemishing her record
+2
30 Car Seat Headrest: Teens of Denial
Maybe I’ve been too hard on guitars +37
Or maybe guitars and
are precisely as tedious and backwards looking as I have always feared, and the reason The Seats’ second release has such an impact is that it’s the sound of an artist refusing to bend to his genre’s limitations and take the sound into new and emotive places
+35
London, up your speed, Manchester, up your speed Milton Keynes, up your speed, Bristol, change gear Birmingham, up your speed, Nottingham, up your speed
OK, no more messing about now. Put that foam finger down, pull that foam finger out: no more banter, OK? We’ve had a lot of fun so far, but now it’s time to get serious. The list so far has been a little spurious in places, and a lot of things have been over or underrated, but from this point on it’s exclusively masterpieces, OK? Any of the following sonic Sistine Chapels of artistic brilliance could feasibly be called your album of the year and you wouldn’t sound too weird
We’re going up a gear, fasten your boot straps
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-YA!!
31 Carly Rae Jaap Stam: E•MO•TION Side B
In 1974 Al Pacino gave one of the all time best cinema performances in ‘Godfather Part II’, exhibiting a subtly and nuance that would later desert him, and managing to captivate the audience to such an extent few even noticed the film lasted 200 freaking minutes. the Oscar for best actor was never in doubt
+43
Unfortunately, The Academy- a retirement home for aged white former cinematic plantation owners who compensate for their loss of bowel control by annually celebrating their favourite shit- was having one of those years where they decide to become completely (instead of generally) impervious to actual quality in the face of unbearable tweeness and overwhelming schmaltz, and awarded the best actor Oscar to Art Carney for ‘Harry and Tonto’, a film about an old man and a fucking cat
-1
The Academy soon realised they’d made a mistake though, it soon became apparent that they’d ignored an historic and legendary performance in favour of a disposable piece of nonsense that everybody had already forgotten about. They owed Al Pacino an Oscar
+12
32 dvsn: SEPT 5TH
Yes, although your natural instinct is to pronounce the band’s name ‘divsner’, it’s actually meant to be read as ‘division’, much like those spent hacks MGMT insisting that their name is actually pronounced ‘management’
+22
Oh!
Should have said that in the Iggy Pop piece…
33 Frightened Rabbit: Painting of a Panic Attack
Necessary Evil 