29 Rihanna: Anti

No artist currently working has as amazing a back catalogue of hit singles as Ri-Ri



Don’t agree? Diamonds? Umbrella? We Found Love? Only Girl? Take a Bow? Rude Boy? Disturbia? SOS? Shut Up and Drive? Don’t Stop the Music? Rehab? California King Bed? Banger, banger, banger, banger, fucking banger!!



If you take away the terrible singles from great singles, I’d put Paul McCartney at about -57, whereas Ri-Ri has barely any stinkers blemishing her record


wayt nah drake


Apart from that terrible song No Way No Way, which to be fair was released when Ri-Ri was very young and she doesn’t really sing on it and isn’t connected to the record in any way, so it seems churlish to blame her for it 


wayt nah weeknd.jpg

(Weeknd didn’t make the list, did he? Well, good reasons, my friend, good reasons…)

Remember that awesome song she did with Paul McCartney? That was probably the best thing the crinkly old billionaire has been involved in for about four decades, and like the other singles (Bitch Better Have My Money, American Oxygen) released in the run up to her eighth album, isn’t even on the record



‘Anti’ is Ri-Ri rejecting anything expected of her and releasing an intriguing, ocassionally baffling, and fascinatingly idiosyncratic record




Rejecting the chance to include Four Five seconds exemplifies the album’s direction: obvious pop hits are set aside and the album instead aims for stranger and more artistically interesting goals





Oh, and sweet mother of God her voice is absolutely amazing



Metacritic: +73

Length: 43 minutes.

OK, I just found out that Goodnight Gotham, which I always thought of as an exemplary album closer- partly because it always reminded me of my future wife Anna Akana- but apparantly it’s a bonus track!! Terrible decision, Ri-Ri, and it must be punished


Best Lyric: ‘How did it come down to this?/Scrolling through your call list/I don’t wanna lose my pride, but I’mma fuck me up a bitch’ +1

Number of AMAZING songs: 1 (+10)

…But Are All the Rest of the Songs Kinda Amazing Anyway?

Absolutely, there’s a freaking Tame Impala cover for goodness sake!!


Is the last song just the first track but played on Ukulele? No -1

Total: 436


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