Off all the artists on this list, North Carolina’s Wednesday is the one I know least about. You guys, I’m not even sure she’s on Twitter! Does she even exist? Her BandCamp page has a paper thin bio that consists wholly of “@wednesday_gurl ♪┏ ( ･o･) ┛♪┗ (･o･ ) ┓♪┏(･o･)┛♪”
“But Alex”, I hear you cry between crunches of the Tangy Cheese Doritos you’re stuffing into your fat ugly face, “@wednesday_gurl? Her bio has her Twitter handle in it! You are so dumb!”. To which I angrily wedgie you by pulling up the underwear you’re somehow still in at 3pm on a Thursday afternoon and scream “There is no @wednesday_gurl handle on Twitter! There’s somebody who calls themselves ~wednesday gurl~ but her actual handle is @Nos_Qween, has six followers, hasn’t Tweeted since 2011*, and it’s very probable that she was a girl who just really liked Wednesdays.”
(“Tired nd burnt out of a long weekend”. Maybe she was so burned out that she died. Actually, have a think about that: ~wednesday gurl~ Tweeted 231 times in six months, then never again. There’s a very good chance that she’s dead. The amount of dead people with accounts on Twitter and Facebook is understood to outnumber those by the living. Social media is already a massive graveyard. Kind of beautiful…)
@wednesday_gurl is actually an Instagram account. She’s got 1’015 followers, she’s doing fine. But I don’t have Instagram! So does she really exist??
‘Yep, Definitely’ is a great album. I’m a little surprised it’s this high, and I might be getting it a little confused with Illuminati Hotties (which I think is a better album). It deserves such a lofty placing, however, because it contains the greatest cover of 2018.
Anyway, if you weren’t paying attention when I posted it at the top of the freaking post, here’s the astonishing ‘Yep, Definitely’ album cover:
I could write books on how amazing this album cover is. Your first impression is one of mild shock that they would put something so sexually explicit on an album cover. However, milliseconds later you realise it isn’t some anatomical picture out of a secondary school medical paper explaining the exact functions of a lady’s lady parts. It’s a retainer. You know, the kind of thing you were probably wearing when you were 12 years old in sex education class. It makes a brilliant point about the unwarranted (and perhaps subconscious and accidental) sexualisation of the young. Much as I love the album, the cover is by far the most interesting part of it (as it would be many albums.
Fun fact: ‘Yep, Definitely’ is the final album on Necessary Evil 2018 if they’re laid out alphabetically. Tell that anecdote if the conversation dries up at your next dinner party.