

At least Ms Le Tissier herself appreciated the piece


Can you believe this is only the second (halfway decent) self titled album released (cough) this year??
I had, like, a thing for self-titled albums, didn’t I?
I think it was called Self-Titled Vindication or summat, but it’s been so long now that I can’t quite remember

Did I use a picture or something?
Continue reading “21 Christine and the Queens: Christine and the Queens”
Next time you’re at an Aerosmith concert- which is the type of humanatarian atrocity you often commit because you have the same laughable sense of taste in music as Homer Simpson and literally every artist you like is music that you’ve forgotten that you initially got into ironically- look out at the back of the crowd for a paunchy man in leather trousers and a faded ‘Toys in the Attic’ tour t-shirt and the kind of haircut that men only grow when they’re either unwilling or unable to accept that they’re bald. He’ll be disgusted that the band aren’t playing cheap Rolling Stones pastiches- a band that, lest we forget, are fucking shit in the first place- about a teenage girl having electric vaginal spasms, or whatever

they’ll be muttering to themselves
Words are brilliant, aren’t they? Without them, we would never be able to identify things as the things that they, in fact, are
Almost every human civilisation on Earth uses words, apart from the D’Hobriest Knark tribe of Southern Peru, who have developed the ability to communicate solely by charades, Blink Murder and Blind Man’s Bluff, as they hark back to a pre-bronze age time when humans used to talk exclusively through parlour games
I know loads of words. How many words do you know?
Like, you don’t have to totally accurate, we’re all friends here

so I’ll accept a disparity of four or five either way, I understand that there are those painfully bland words like ‘cinder’, ‘lands’ or ‘sesquipedalian’ that everyone is likely to forget, so just get it in the ballpark


Aw, dude, so many people died in 2016, yeah??
I mean, how many fatalities were there in Haiti because of Hurricaine Mathew? At least 500, but some people put the death rate at closer to 1000!
Aw man, and the Syrian civil war, yeah?! About 470’000 people have died in that! 2016 was, like, such a bad year for deaths!
Aw, dude, and the illegal Saudi Arabian intervention in Yemen! Which Britain is partly funding and yet barely reporting on it at all! The UN reports that there’s been over 10’000 deaths there, including 3’799 civilians! Man, 2016 sucked!!
No question mark?



Remember a while back when I mentioned that I’d applied for a place on a OISC (Office of Immigration… Studies…? Commission…?)n which, if I passed, would allow me to chalk off one of the items on my bucket list and start moving into Immigration Law?
No artist currently working has as amazing a back catalogue of hit singles as Ri-Ri
Don’t agree? Diamonds? Umbrella? We Found Love? Only Girl? Take a Bow? Rude Boy? Disturbia? SOS? Shut Up and Drive? Don’t Stop the Music? Rehab? California King Bed? Banger, banger, banger, banger, fucking banger!!

If you take away the terrible singles from great singles, I’d put Paul McCartney at about -57, whereas Ri-Ri has barely any stinkers blemishing her record
Remember when I asked? No? Well, that’s what it’s called anyway

The music of Tove Lo is generally concerned with her genitals
