18 Jherek Bischoff: Cistern

~ Lex Leeson ~ 2 Comments

Hey, did you know that people are still making classical music?

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No, honestly, not just film soundtracks! I mean there are actually people still composing new pieces that aren’t just Hanns Zimmer going WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRGG while Tom Hardy bites the Loch Ness Monster’s head off with his fists

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loch ness

Such an act of heroic senselessness would obviously convince Emma Stone that she did love Matt Hardy after all, despite all her previous banter, because women are generally only impressed by creative slaughter of mythical beasts

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Ooo-Hooh, Step it Up Step it U-Hup

~ Lex Leeson ~ Leave a comment

OK, all arguments are invalid from this point onward: if you don’t love all of the next 18 records- the actual best albums of the year- then you obviously don’t really appreciate either music or joy, and I’m wondering why you even made it this far, both on this list and in life in general without slitting your wrists

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(Thought that song was called RIP it Up, took me fucking ages to find it)

19 Swet Shop Boys: Cashmere

~ Lex Leeson ~ 3 Comments

ssb1

Even if you ignore the brilliance of their name- which you absolutely should never do- the Swet Shop Boys are absolutely one of the greatest things on Earth

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A rap duo- of which there aren’t nearly enough of in the first place- consisting of Indian-American Heems and the British-Pakistani Riz MC that chiefly spin takes on the scandalously under-represented subject of Muslim and second generation Asian immigrant experiences in the West, the police’s harassment of their ethnicity, and the hellish seduction of fundamentalism

+16

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The Game Done Changed

~ Lex Leeson ~ 8 Comments

christine tweet

  1. Christine and the Queen’s next album will automatically win that year’s Necessary Evil
  2.  I no longer care that none of my friends are reading my blog
  3.  I hope she wasn’t being haughtily sarcastic, as the French are wont to be

21 Christine and the Queens: Christine and the Queens

~ Lex Leeson ~ 4 Comments

Can you believe this is only the second (halfway decent) self titled album released (cough) this year??

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I had, like, a thing for self-titled albums, didn’t I?

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I think it was called Self-Titled Vindication or summat, but it’s been so long now that I can’t quite remember

+24

christine

Did I use a picture or something?

-3

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22 Wild Beasts: Boy King

~ Lex Leeson ~ Leave a comment

Next time you’re at an Aerosmith concert- which is the type of humanatarian atrocity you often commit because you have the same laughable sense of taste in music as Homer Simpson and literally every artist you like is music that you’ve forgotten that you initially got into ironically- look out at the back of the crowd for a paunchy man in leather trousers and a faded ‘Toys in the Attic’ tour t-shirt and the kind of haircut that men only grow when they’re either unwilling or unable to accept that they’re bald. He’ll be disgusted that the band aren’t playing cheap Rolling Stones pastiches- a band that, lest we forget, are fucking shit in the first place- about a teenage girl having electric vaginal spasms, or whatever

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they’ll be muttering to themselves

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24 Aesop Rock: The Impossible Kid

~ Lex Leeson ~ 2 Comments

Words are brilliant, aren’t they? Without them, we would never be able to identify things as the things that they, in fact, are

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Almost every human civilisation on Earth uses words, apart from the D’Hobriest Knark tribe of Southern Peru, who have developed the ability to communicate solely by charades, Blink Murder and Blind Man’s Bluff, as they hark back to a pre-bronze age time when humans used to talk exclusively through parlour games

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I know loads of words. How many words do you know?

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Like, you don’t have to totally accurate, we’re all friends here

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so I’ll accept a disparity of four or five either way, I understand that there are those painfully bland words like ‘cinder’, ‘lands’ or ‘sesquipedalian’ that everyone is likely to forget, so just get it in the ballpark

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