Heeeeeeeeey, when did people start saying “Nice” after they say “69”? This isn’t a ‘bit’, I know that recent posts may have lead you to believe that I am a master wordsmith full of devilish literary tricks to evoke all sorts of thoughtful commentaries, but this is an actual serious question. There is only one response to a sudden appearance of the number 69, and that is to shout “SIXTY NINE DUDE!” and then air guitar. It’… it’s… it’s… it’s just how it’s done!
Have we as a society already forgotten ‘Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure’?? What a damning indictment of the social media frazzled attention spans of modern culture, how we’re so quick to move on from a shared touchstone that was only released…
Alright, whatever, so the current kids aren’t into the classics like they should be. When I was sixteen it was thirty three years after the classic thriller ‘Wait Until Dark’ was released (“A recently blinded woman is terrorized by a trio of thugs while they search for a heroin-stuffed doll they believe is in her apartment”. Yeah, I know every movie has that exact same plot now, but this was a novel premise at the time), but we were still quipping lines like “Do I have to be the world champion blind lady?” and “Just give me the doll, and then Sam will be safe” at each other. Whatever, I’ve long learned that I shouldn’t judge other people’s mental capacity by my own high standard. When exactly did this switch over to “Nice” happen?? Someone should write an article about it.
You must have forgotten that the internet existed, and how desperate the grasping scrum for content can be – The Daily Dot wrote one in 2017.
Astonishingly, the article claims to have tracked down the first ever recorded instance (erm, on Twitter…) of someone combining the otherwise innocuous number of ’69’ with the word ‘Nice’. The wonderfully named Filip Bunkens all the way back in September 2007:
This might be enough for some lightweight journalists, but David Covucci wasn’t about to let the biggest scoop since Watergate to slip through his fingers, he wanted the big catch. Who was the first person to encounter the number 69 expressed by someone other than themselves, and reply with ‘nice’ while obviously well aware of the meme and its undertones. The answer will blow you away, make sure you’re sitting down;
It’s Brittney bitch!! No,not that one, obviously, but it’s still something, no??
That article is actually difficult to read, containing as it does repeated instances of people thinking they’re being hilariously witty when just repeating the exact same joke that’s barely a joke in the first place. It’s something that a noted wit such as myself finds particularly offensive. And the article, more than five years old, should have surely noted the moment the meme died out, killed off like so many other things by the worst president America had had since the one just before him:
Anyway, if, as seems likely, it was all initially inspired by by 2006 South Park episode, then that’s… really weird you guys. The episode is based on how female child molesters are generally thought of in the polar opposite way to male ones in society. Whereas male pedophiles are possibly the most hated people in Western society (apart from the Muslim, the Jew, the atheist, the Asian, the African, the black, the brown and the woman) men react to tales of women preying on young boys as kinda hot. So much so that whenever the crimes of the attractive kindergarten having sex with a three year old boy are told to the police, they can only respond with one word: “Nice”.
That’s your reference point?? You people are freaks! Bring back the Bill and Ted reference, I’m pretty sure that’s, like, the least problematic film series ever, and the theme tune for the cartoon tie-in?? Fuggedaboudit!
Or, we could simply respond to the number ’69’ in the future by saying ‘Govier’, for that is his placement on the 2022 list. Yeah, I was building to that handover all the time, this post is fucking gold.
As far as memory serves (and, honestly, that’s not very far at my age), if you don’t count my grasp for clicks and clout every time the Manics rerelease an old album (Manics fans, mate, they account for 93% of my traffic and are the only reason we have the capacity for anything else on this shitty site), I think I’ve only ever done two reviews of an album close to its release and not just linked to the year end list. Once was very recently, for probably the biggest musical act (and one of the most notable people) of the 21st century, who funnily enough has ended up next to Govier at #68 on the list (nice). The other was Govier, in 2019.
Ah shit, I forgot about american poetry club and Frankie Valet. Bollocks! OK, but I think they kind of asked me to review them, yeah? Damn, the Govier thing doesn’t seem as impressive anymore…
I chose to review Govier’s 2019 album because I really thought I saw something special in him on his 2018 debut ‘Metal Target’. Now, in 2022, Govier still certainly possesses that same special quality, though perhaps he’s decided to not take his sound in the direction I personally was hoping for. ‘Little Falls’ is an immaculate collection of soft, lo-fi, pastoral indie folk, which is something Govier has always excelled at and obviously where he’s decided to flaunt his creative flag/ Good for him, and his comfort zone is still a wonderful place. Its his own genius, his own artistry, and even though perhaps he’ll never truly build on the experimentation of ‘Metal Target’ and build on the epic gut punch of that album’s title track as I always dreamed he would, he is obviously a man extremely confident in his craft and continuing to fine tune it.
[EDIT! IMPORTANT! I have just spoken to my nephew, and he explained that ’69’ isn’t an innocuos ‘funny’ number that I always thought it was, but actually refers to a a sex thing where a couple puts their mouths near each other’s genitalia. I’m not a prude, I’m a super big fan of all three sex positions (her on top, doggy, normal), but this sounds absolutely disgusting, especially as we’re still dealing with the aftereffects of COVID. This post now seems in poor taste, and I will delete it soon]
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