LCD Go Down Cistern

…is what I’d call this piece if the album was rubbish. Honestly, I’ve been waiting for ages to use that pun.

Down the toilet, see? Like crap. Because the album’s crap. Utter faecal matter.

Unfortunately, LCD are yet to afford me an opportunity to use it, and I’m really starting to think they might not ever. They are an irritatingly consistent band.

(…)

I love LCD Soundsystem, but much like Ri-Ri said a long time ago: they know exactly how to touch me so that I don’t want to fuss and fight no more, said I despise that I adore them. And I hate how much I love them, boy, I can’t stand how much I need them. And I hate how much I love them, boy (ooh, whoa) but I just can’t let them go and I hate that I love them so (ooh).

(go on. Do it. I don’t get international calls)

They irritate me imensely.

No, sorry, allow me to rephrase: the praise they get irritates me. They are lauded and fellated by white, middle age, middle class music critics with ridiculous hair to an almost Radiohead degree.

(goodness, hasn’t it been the longest?? I did it ten times in 2016!!)

I mean, let’s face it: LCD Soundsystem have two songs. They have the bum-bum-bum-bum song which always lasts about 12 minutes and features James Murphy shouting lyrics like “You went to the record store/And blew your tiny mind/With a rare LP/By Lo-Fidelity Allstars/Which you use to cut up lines of mephedrone”. These songs grow a little tiring by the second or third listen. You always have to sit through two or three of these per records. They are absolutely lapped up by US music critics who never heard Big Beat and never followed Skint Records with a fervour that would usually be saved for Manic Street Preachers albums or records produced by Seth Manchester.

(…)

Then they have their second song. The slow anthem that’s scaffolded with the most gorgeous synthesised pulse this side of Little Red Corvette. The gorgeous song. The song where you start to understand why Pitchfork love the band so much they actually named the site after James Murphy’s favourite agricultural instrument he uses to pitch hey and straw. The ones where Mr Murphy goes “Whaaaaaaaaaaat iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis myyyyyyyyy pooooooooost cooooooooooooode?” and you feel like crying. The amazing song. The song where everything makes sense, not just the praise.

(…)

american dream has loads of those brilliant songs. It has much less of the shouty Big Beat rip offs It’s probably their best album

Yeah, that’s actually a Magnetic Fields’ lyric. I forgot to put in their countdown. But did Merritt need the points? Absolutely not. This is what the world should be like. You shouldn’t give away things that you need, even if you need them in an utterly trivial way. I need all 43 of my Manic Street Preachers albums/EPs/singles/bootlegs. I just need them. I need my special book version of ‘Journal for Plague Lovers;, even though I can’t find it at the moment. I need all 16 of my Nick Cave CDs. A large amount of them were presents from my wife, when for one birthday she bought me his entire pre-‘Murder Ballads’ discography to complete my collection and show that she was absolutely perfect for me and I’d be an idiot to mess that marriage up.

But the things you don’t need? Give them away. There’s always someone who will need it. You don’t need that sweater, that DVD, that £20 note. That 25th thousand pound a year. Pass it on. Give it up.

(…)

I intentionally have a tiny bookshelf. Books aren’t for keeping, they’re for reading. And if you can’t think of a friend who would like it, it’s a rubbish book that should just go to a charity shop. Want one of these? Just let me know

Score

Age: 48 (+56)

Album Number: 4 (+48)

Album Length: 66 minutes (+0)

Very Good Songs: 3 (+16)

Brilliant Songs: 5 (+100)

AMAZING Songs: 2 (+80)

% of Album Worthwhile: 100

Cover:

Yes! Noice! Simple, to the point, no fannying about! (Though, not as well suited to wearing as a T-shirt to catch out  idiots as Weaver’s album)

+30

Previous Entries: 2010 HM, 2007 No.2

Number two?? Come on Alex…

+100

Meta Critic: 86

lower case album title: +300

It’s pretty badass, isn’t it?

Total:

1’916

https://lcdsoundsystem.bandcamp.com/