38 Sufjan Stevens: The Greatest Gift

All of Me Still Wants All of This

Image result for chameleon

Why do we humanoids place so much value in stubbornness? Why are the people who never change their beliefs or conduct the most respected?

You should always be changing your mind: the world is forever changing, more facts are constantly being uncovered, scientific breakthroughs are continually reversing long held beliefs. If you’re a fully aware human being, you probably shouldn’t believe the same things and hold the same opinions today that you did yesterday. If you believe the same things and hold the same opinions that you did ten years ago, you are an absolutely worthless entity and hold no value as a human. You are probably a very successful Member of Parliament.

People who change their minds are the worst. Like, slightly more respected than ISIS members, but far more hated than the IRA, who are viewed with a bit of nostalgic wistfulness these days.


Say a politician makes a statement on Monday that he’s against nuclear power stations, based on how he was brought up believing that nuclear power stations were Chernobyl-coloured death traps that turn children into green two headed slime monsters. Sure, there’s the small chance that it could induce superpowers, but the politician has crunched the numbers and decided the potential benefits are not worth the risks.

On Tuesday, this politician- whom we’ll call Rumpold Numpyrink- reads an article that claims that actually nuclear power is probably the most ecological safe way to power the nation, that the famous nuclear catastrophes in the past were actually more to do with human error and ridiculously outdated apparatus. He consults a couple of scientists and asks for their opinion, and they agree that government position should instead be on how to ensure nuclear power plants safety, rather than abolishing them completely.

On Wednesday, Rumpold Numpyrink calls a press conference to announce that, due to recently uncovered information, he has decided to reverse his stance on nuclear power, and if anything he might argue that more power plants be built in order to reduce our over reliance on fossil fuels and non-renewable energy. In his speech he makes a couple of well appreciated cultural references (“Look, we don’t need coal now, we make moooooooney move“) and mentions a footballer, so the speech is an absolute success and his measured rhetoric convinces everybody of the benefits of nuclear power. A quick poll after the speech reveals that 91% of people support expanding Britain’s nuclear power grid, and even the other 9% answered “Yeah, sure, whatever”.

Unfortunately on Thursday the papers ridicule Rumpold for his ‘flip-flopping’, chastise him as a dangerously indecisive leader. Stanley McMurphy does a cartoon in the Daily Mail of Rumpold taking part in threesome with a black woman and an Asian woman and unable to decide with which horrifically racist caricature to begin proceedings.

On Friday he is voted out of office and his seat is taken by a Mr Gank Wut-Hoven, who has been a politician for 74 years and has remained steadfast in his belief that nuclear power is definitely a controversial issue. Voters admire his consistency, and he wins with 91% of the vote, with even the other 9% voting “Yeah, sure, whatever”.

However, Rumpold did meet a girl that Friday.

They were making love by Saturday.

They chilled on Sunday.


If you decide to like/dislike something, then upon reflection decide that you actually dislike/like it, you’re dismissed as being indecisive. You’ve made two decisions! If anything, you’re twice as decisive as that waste of skin laughing at you, who hasnt changed his mind or challenged his conception since he was 8 years old.

Always challenge yourself: investigate if the things you hold true were actually proved definitively false three decades ago.

Never accept that ‘you are who you are’. You are who you choose to be.

My writings on this blog go back ten years. I wince when I read things I wrote even (kayfabe) last year: a lot of the music I’ve already grown out of, a lot of the beliefs that I get my soapbox out for I no longer hold, and often now hold the absolute opposite opinion. That’s how it should be. When I write Necessary Evil 2018, I might look back o this entry and decree it absolute bollocks. That’s how it should be. If you hold the same beliefs your whole life then you have given up on evolution and stagnatd into a meaningless person.

But many people are happy to live lives like a domesticated cat, and more power to them.

‘The Greatest Gift’


is a nice reminder of my past, and a chance to evaluate certain important life choices. Outtakes, remixes and unreleased tracks from ‘Carrie and Lowell’, which I awarded the 2015 Necessary Evil album of the year. (kayfabe) Two years is a long time in music ‘journalism’,


and listening to these songs now…

They’re all still fucking awesome, and even the tracks that didn’t make it onto that masterpiece would be the standout track on most other albums. I was so right naming this album of the year!

Who the fuck is…

Who the fuck is…

Who the fuck is Kendrick Lamaaaaaaaaaar!!

Wow, this entry really went off the rails, didn’t it?


Age: 42 (+8)

Album Length:48 minutes (-2)

Very Good Songs: 5 (+10)

Brilliant Songs: 6 (+30)

AMAZING Songs: 1 (+10)

A song that wasn’t on the original album, so it’s totally legit!!

% of Album Worthwhile: 100




Yeah, sure, whatever


Previous Entries: 2015 No 1

How about that for a 100% record?!


Meta Critic: 71

Necessary Evil Best Albums: 1 (+100)

C’mon, it’s the most prestigious prize in music!!




8 thoughts on “38 Sufjan Stevens: The Greatest Gift

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s