16 Lupe Fiasco: DROGAS Light

Mar 27, 2018 ~ Lex Leeson ~ 6 Comments

What?? I was under the impression that it was called DROGBAS light until literally earlier today! Wow. That’s a disappointment)

Lupe’s Undervalue is a Fiasco

Listen, I know I don’t ask for your opinion or explanation often- because, let’s face it, the vast gulf in intellect means it’d be like Jesus walking on the water past you and asking you for tips of his backstroke- but can someone please just answer me one thing?

(…)

What is the deal with Lupe Fiasco?

I don’t need you to explain who he is, I’ve worked out that much. I don’t need you to explain how he got his name (he was such a shark around the snooker halls in his youth that they used to call him ‘Super Lupe Nuts’). I don’t need you to tell me what he does: I know he raps, like, better than nearly anyone else. I don’t need you to explain his music, because I’ve just told you that’s actually impossible. I don’t need you to explain how he once claimed that “the biggest terrorist is Obama*and the United States of America. I’m trying to fight the terrorism that’s actually causing the other forms of terrorism. You know, the root cause of terrorism is the stuff the U.S. government allows to happen. The foreign policies that we have in place in different countries that inspire people to become terrorists” because, shit, even if you don’t agree with that view you have to understand it, and admire the gall bladder of a guy willing to say it on American television.

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17 Moses Sumney: Aromanticism

Mar 27, 2018Dec 17, 2020 ~ Lex Leeson ~ 11 Comments

Moses Sumney Makes My Nose’s Bum Wee

Music journalism is such bullshit, isn’t it?

I mean, sure, write an incisive piece of what the success of From Earth With Love unexpectedly meant for the people of Lappeenranta, Finland in 1997. That probably comes close enough to proper journalism for the other writers at your office not to laugh at you and flick bogeys at you when you’re trying to eat your dinner.

Or maybe just write gushing pieces about how The Rolling Stones used to make 14 year old groupies eat their own faeces while they pissed on them and hi-fived, before pushing the young groupie so hard against the floor that she couldn’t breathe- choking in the mixture of piss, shit and blood from her nose that broke in the collision with the floor- and then all did lines of cocaine off her back. God, there used to be proper rock stars back in the day, didn’t they?? How often do you think frickin’ Twenty One Pilots do that?? The pussies wouldn’t have the stomachs! I mean, that groupie almost definitely didn’t die, did she?

You can only interview bands that you think are great and that we’d enjoy listening to. Perhaps their story will put their music in sufficient context for us to properly appreciate the songs? Don’t interview a band you hate and tell them how shit they are: you are not Lestor Bangs blowing the fucking minds off some sheltered faux superstars, blinded by the shining of the walls of their ivory towers, you’re just a prick who’s really irritating Snow Patrol. These artists are clever enough to understand how life isn’t a zero sum game, they are aware that some people don’t like their music, but they’ve decided to cater to those that do, those that have been throwing money at the band for years, people who had their first wedding dance to Chasing Cars.

Yes, these people are fucking idiots, but part of growing up is recognising that telling idiots that they’re idiots is not an honourable pursuit. However, me telling you that you’re a pathetic edgelord dingus is entirely necessary.

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36 Ghostpoet: Dark Days + Canapes

Mar 14, 2018Mar 14, 2018 ~ Lex Leeson ~ 2 Comments

But He Doesn’t Ghostknowit

Imagine being the actual ghost of a poet? It’d be a rather unfortunately ironic existence by my thinking: you’d be overloaded with material to be all poetic about- your odes on the loneliness of death and the unease inspired looming threat of being ghostbusted at any time would be stone cold classics– yet you’d be unable to broadcast your genius to the wider world!!

Sure, you can chuck a verse or two Derek Acorah’s way, but he’s far too much of a egotist to give you proper credit when he broadcasts your work, and he’ll most likely claim that he wrote most of the best stuff himself. You’d be screaming your lungs out accusing him of plagiarism, and the only person who can hear you is Derek! What a palaver!!

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