2026’s New Gold Star Artist’s (and a Couple of Shameful Exits)

Keep up at the back! I’ve explained all of this a dozen times by this point! For glorious entry into the prized and celebrated Necessary Evil Gold Star Artists Hall of Fame you need to meet just two basic yet extraordinary difficult criteria:

  • At least three albums
  • All albums featured on the Necessary Evil best of year countdown

Well… not none, but… few… Few Shall Pass.

NE25 saw two new entries to the most prestigious list in all of music. In all of life. And they’re biggies: legitimately two of the most notable artists of the 21st century, and even if a normie mainstream media (more like lamestream media, ammi right lads???) outlet like Rolling Stone or BBC or The Daily Stormer or Razzle decided to list the greatest artists of the past two decades they’d both be listed high. And, in a pleasing bit of symmetry, there were also two artists condemned to the eternal shame of being disqualified from the Gold Star Artists Hall of Fame and violently dispelled into the disgraceful Ex-Gold Star Graveyard. It was a great shame that one of these artists was expelled. The other one I couldn’t give less of a shit about.

More, more, more, how do you like it?

#5 Sudan Archives: Natural Brown Prom Queen

I’m back, bitches!

Oh, my God, Britt
They gon’ have a fit when they hear this shit

OMG BRITT

So, yeah, first of all this achievement is out of the window, so I’m naturally a bit bitter about that.

But I had to really slow down and take stock as I entered the top five, as these five records are so close together in terms of absolute genital bursting incredible quality that I felt I needed to take a step back and really evaluate the order that I’d placed them in. Despite what that insolent little prick Shawn might say, this is important. Also, I really didn’t want my number one album to still be number one, for reasons that will become clear.

ONLY BAD BITCHES IN MY TRELLIS

61 Sudan Archives: Sink

Why isn’t Sudan Archives a bigger deal? Like, why have you* never heard of her? Why are we all not already sick off her experimental folk/jazz being forced down our throats at every artisan coffee shop and that friend of ours never shutting up about her? Why do I have to be skirting through BandCamp satisfying a peculiar itch to even come across her?

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(*Yes, you. Yeah, you know who I’m talking to. You. You there. No! Not you! You’re cool, I’m talking to that numpty next to you. Yeah, you…)

Again, I can’t recommend BandCamp enough…

Continue reading “61 Sudan Archives: Sink”