Hallelujah the Hills’ ‘DECK’ Ranked

All 54 Songs on 2025’s Most Insane Achievement Listed in Order of Awesomeness

OK! I’m actually getting round to this! I know I’ve promised to write this post several times but, kid, I make a lot of promises on this blog, they’re practically meaningless. Your Mum can relate, mate, trust me, now pipe down and read the rest of this post.

Boston’s* Hallelujah the Hills (HtH) first announced their plan to released ‘DECK’ in late 2022. By that point, HtH were fifteen years into a recording career that had produced seven studio records of that were all varying degrees of extremely decent to incredibly great. The band were hardly strangers to crazy ambitions and thinking outside the box: they had released albums inspired by 19th century spiritualist scammers; albums that were instrumental scores to a book about the importance of 1968 written by frontperson Ryan H. Walsh; and they once even discovered, on April 1st 2022, field recordings of clairvoyants receiving messages that proved the paranormal origins of many of The Beatles’ songs. I guess that last one isn’t really proof of the band’s eclectic ambitions, more their good luck in unearthing these 1958 recordings, but I still felt it was worth mentioning. They’d never done anything close to as ambitious as ‘DECK’ before though. Few artists have.

(that’s Boston, Massachusetts, USA, not Boston in Lincolnshire, just East of Nottingham. Just wanted to make that clear early in case you were confused by the rest of the article not making any jokes about Fred Maddison or wry references to  St Botolph’s Church)

In an idea that frontperson Walsh apparently had in mind for decades, the project would be called ‘DECK’ because it represented a deck of cards. There’d be fifty two cards. Each card would be a song. There’d be a ‘suit’ of thirteen songs in the ‘Diamonds‘ album (“a proper studio follow up to ‘I’m You’“); thirteen songs in the ‘Clubs‘ album (“lo-fi faster, punkier, dirtier songs”); thirteen songs in the ‘Hearts‘ album (“a sparser, mostly acoustic, yet carefully orchestrated, album full of weepers”); and thirteen songs in the ‘Spades‘ album (“a free-form, experimental record”). All four ‘suits’ would be released on the same day and collectively form the 52 track ‘DECK’ project. The listener would “Be able to pull 13 random cards, put their corresponding songs in the order you pulled the cards, and voila, you have your own unique version of the record that might function like an audio-tarot-card-reading“. It was, obviously, an hilariously overambitious folly that would destroy either the entire band, their collective mental health, or – most likely – both. It’s the kind of shit you’d hear sent Brian Wilson mad in Walsh’s beloved 1968. It’s the kind of thing you’d read about being an early plan for ‘Chinese Democracy‘ that finally convinced Slash that Axl Rose was beyond the point of no return. When Charles Manson first met with Phil Kaufman to explore the possibilities of releasing music, he probably described the ‘DECK’ project. The idea of this project is the rantings of a madman. I immediately begun to be concerned about the band’s collective cocaine consumption.

LOOK AT THIS POST, GIRL

2020’s Best Computer Game: The Last of Us pt 2

Yeah, that’s right, I review games now! Whadda ya make of that, huh!? I know what you were previously thinking. “This guy, Alex?” You mumble to yourself through bounteous saliva trigged on your thirsting lips brought on by even the mention of my name, “He’s out every night poontang pie eating, his life is all passion, pain and dragon slaying, he wouldn’t even have time to sit alone in his room covered in Doritos dust, slamming down Pepsi Maxes as he twiddles his analog sticks”. Well, guess what ladies and gentlemen? I’m even cooler than you previously thought!

“Yeah, I’m kinda between jobs, friends, basic hygiene standards and general life purposes right now… Do you wanna visit my Animal Crossing island?”

Three things: Firstly, yes, I do play video games, but at a much slower and infrequent rate than, say, the lead game reviewer at IGN. My PS4 is 99% utilised as a way to explore ancient ruins and domesticate live dodos in ARK while playing online with a friend* I bought The Last of Us pt 2 the day it came out in June, and finished it roughly a week ago. It’s my game of the year because, basically, it’s the only game I had time to play this year.

“Come out tonight? Erm, I’ve actually got some really important business to attend to…”

(*if that friend’s reading, I’ve not forgotten that we still need to visit the grasslands in order to hunt pelt to wear to allow us to investigate the mountains, I’ll have time to get to it soon, I promise!)

Secondly, that age old stereotype that I’ve just lazily referred to is based on an archaic Boomer presumption about gamers that dates back to the 80s. Back then, playing games meant sticking 126 floppy disks into your Amstrad CPC 464 and sitting through roughly 72 hours of loading time in order to glance at perhaps an illicitly digitised cleavage in Leisure Suit Larry. Of course these people deserved to be mocked and scorned! Playing video games was purely for children and neeeeeeeeeeeeeerds back then, but now those children have grown into childish adults in a culture that strongly discourages letting go of childish things. In 2020, the average age of a video game player has been said to be as old as 35, while remaining a chief interest of actual children. Now, video games aren’t just a silly pastime for socially awkward preteens struggling with the dangerous sexual enfeeblement of puberty. Video games aren’t just now the biggest entertainment business in the world, but also capable of being legitimate and emotionally affecting pieces of art.

Before internet porn, this was as good as it got. But you were happy

Thirdly, much of The Last of Us pt 2 and the critical response to it seems to still be lost in that debate of the artistic legitimacy of video games, which really shouldn’t still be an open issue. Guys, Majora’s Mask was released 20 years ago!! Many reviews get wrapped up in declaring how this is now proof that games can be considered art, that this is the (sigh) ‘Citizen Kane of video game‘, a lasting monument to the possibilities of the entire form. Then there was an even greater backlash that near unanimously declared that TLOUp2 was actually the worst thing ever, because it doesn’t work as a movie, because they didn’t like plot choices, because decisions didn’t make sense, because, seriously, who is this woman??, and many more. It has meant that what I originally considered to be a somewhat lukewarm explanation of why I liked the game, with dozens of caveats, has actually become a lot more defensive of people’s reasons for hating it that I deem illegitimate. Yeah, there was also the usual sexist, homophobic, anti-Semitic and transphobic nonsense, which I’m not sure I need to explain the invalidity of.

This will be longer than any album piece I write this year, because- Jesus Christ!- there is so much to say about this game. I’m also venturing into video games journalism, which probably means getting abused online and having my life made into a living hell.

Actually, I’m a guy, aren’t I? I’m gonna be fine. The reason for this extra long introduction is that there’ll be major spoilers for freaking everything after the jump. You’ve been warned.

Yeah… that… kinda.. works…
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