Yeah, that’s right, I’m going to start my post on the Scientifically Proven™ third greatest album of 2025 by slagging off Beyoncé’s ‘Renaissance’ for the third fucking time.
Both Beyoncé’s 2022 critic stupefying event album and FKA Twigs’ third proper record were heavily influenced by dance music. Beyoncé referenced a lot of post 70’s black dance crazes – with close attention paid to early 90’s House music and Detroit’s best -while Twigs was enchanted with the techno music she heard when she relocated to Prague to – don’t laugh – film ‘The Crow‘.
My issue as perhaps literally the only person in the world who didn’t love ‘Renaissance’ more than I loved my childhood pet, is that it has always struck me as such a superficial album. Yes, of course you can point to the often overlooked importance of many of the black, gay subcultures and musical styles that Beyoncé was referencing. And, yes, the fact that Beyoncé had a gay uncle who passed away as a result of the AIDS crisis – while Reagan was more likely to just make a joke about his name being ‘Johnny’ – means that there is a personal connection to a lot of these scenes, nobody’s accusing you of appropriation here! And, yes, wasn’t 90’s House music awesome!? Oh ‘n theirlivesagain, oh ‘n theirliveswillpull us, oh ‘n theirlivesagain… Isn’t it? Great stuff.
But… ‘Renaissance’ was just replicating the music itself?? The homages are all aimed in the right direction, but the end product was far too often just expressing reverence by reproduction. The chief motivating creativity behind ‘Renaissance’ was expertly knowing what past artists to duplicate. I never felt that the real spirit of these dance movements – the beating hearts of these incredibly important revolutions in electronic sound – was ever truly examined. It’s superficial, see?
Twigs, however, was spot on from the very start when she announced that ‘EUSEXUA’ would not be some lazy ass reheating of 90s techno’s nachos (paraphrased her there) but instead be more influenced by the spirit of techno. The word ‘EUSEXUA’ thankfully doesn’t concern how much of a baddy Ursula von der Leyen is, but instead describes the sensation of being so euphoric that you transcend human form, a mix of sexuality and euphoria: “It’s like when you’ve been kissing a lover for hours and turn into an amoeba with that person. You’re not human anymore, you’re just a feeling, or that moment before an orgasm: pure nothingness but also pure focus“. That, boys and girls, is what the best dance music should always make you feel*, and Twigs doesn’t have to simply interpolate Good Life by Inner City to attempt to get you there.
(*drugs are never involved and I’m shocked and appalled that you would ever suggest that)
‘EUSEXUA’ isn’t just using dance music as a new genre for Twigs to flex their multiplicity within; this is no ‘homage’ to decades old genius made by artists who these days couldn’t even afford a ticket to one of your shows; this is no frivolous gesture toward past cultural relevance in an attempt to shield its own vacant distinction. It’s a record that truly understands how this music can often wordlessly define a human’s very soul and which attempts to investigate those very same impulses. Emphasis, often, on the pulse.
It’s Twigs’ greatest work – which is a pretty outstaning achievement when you consider the competition – one that flows with warmth and humanity where Twigs previously ocassionally drifted into the cold and synthetic. While Beyoncé portrayed the club as a place of escape from the burdensome 9-5 of stupid real life – something the 800 x millionaire Beyoncé of course knows all about – Twigs understands how the club can be where you come to life, rather than escape it. And she does this by creating something new, by not paying homage to the geniuses that have come before you by repeating their highs, but instead pushing the boundaries of music in a similar way.
An absolutely outstanding work, which I honestly believe doesn’t feature as high on a lot of critics’ lists simply because it was released ages ago!! January might as well have been 1986, A Minecraft Movie hadn’t even been released yet. Chicken shagging!! Or whatever those fucking losers shout. What have we become as a culture, seriously? Also, the North West collaboration is… weird… Like, what is the actual thinking behind getting an extremely famous American child to sing some lines in Japanese? Why? In fact, it’s inspired a one time return for an old favourite:
Yeah, Azealia has gone off a fucking cliff this year mentally, and that Tweet is as horrid and as mean spirited as you’d expect, but… I kinda get it…
But, yeah, mostly the fact it was released in January…
but why tho????
2025 #19, 2022 #33, 2019 #7 (her ACTUAL last album: +4), 2014 #7
Finally, she can legitimately enter the HOF:
Thatswhadamtalkin’bout. The proles were almost as impressed, with a score of 82.
Right! My plane to Cape Verde leaves in 11 hours! I’m taking my laptop, so I might find time to write the top 2, but there’s also a good chance you’ll all have to wait a week or so.
There are two albums left. One of them is my favourite ever Prince album. I’ve never dared to name Prince #1 album during this journey…
Necessary Evil 