Nick Cave album number three and a half! Or is it just number three? Do the last two doublet albums instead just count for one whole one? Whatever, it’s Cave’s twelfth Necessary Evil ranking album that he’s featured on, which I’m going to assume is a record seeing as The Manics (his only feasible challengers) only have a pitiful nine. Yeah, he’s been sneakily boosting his stats this year with multiple albums, but then The Manics boosted their stats with rereleasing ‘This Is My Truth Tell Me Yours‘ and ‘Gold Against the Soul‘, so no need to create a fuss, we’re all friends here. Warren. Warren! Put the knife down, yeah? It’s Christmas
Did you notice that thing that erupted in 2020? No, not Zandaya, though isn’t she just wonderful? Not Tiger King, no, come on, that meme’s been dead a long time. And, no, I am not about to make another Emily in Paris joke, I made one of those in my Big $ilky review and – honestly? – I feel that may already be too many. I mean the coronavirus, or COVID-19, the sickness so good they named it twice. Then kept naming it: Delta, Omicron, The Global Bastard, The Big Stink, The Worldwide Whoopsie, The Wuhan Cunt, and many more. Didn’t notice? Take a look out the window.It’s still happening. Haven’t seen Granny in a while? Yeah, because she’s dead, mate.Merry Christmas.
Didn’t it all just expose the utter bullshit that we’ve been forced to live within? Didn’t it show us all that the power structures we live in thrall to are actually great ivory towers of shite that are built on human punishment rather than our best interests? The lovely and caring government or those humane and benevolent corporations treated us underlings by removing punitive threats to our live and wellbeing and kept repeatedly proving that there was no decen use for these things in the first place, except to further ensure human suffering. In America, many states compassionately declared that people charged with minor offences wouldn’t be put in jail, to keep jails being crowded with sick people. Cool. So these people don’t actually need to go to prison then? Their crimes don’t merit the severe punishment and they don’t pose any threat to people in the outside world? Then why were you locking these people up in the first place? Guess what? In America, Police can assist landlords to evict tenants. Yeah, that’s a thing. During Coronavirus, some states made that illegal due to coronavirus. Why was it not already illegal? What about literally any other disease apart from The Rona? I’m pretty sure other diseases are pretty bad as well. The UK government added £20 a week to Universal Credit during the pandemic, because… they really belied these people couldn’t find work this time, rather than just being complete chancers? But they did it, they showed they could do it, then they just took it away. Then we’re supposed to just accept the apparent fact that it’s impossible for MPs to survive on only one £81’932 salary. It’s all fucking bollocks! These practices are not just accepted as ‘standard’, they’re a way to punish people, to make lives more difficult, or to make sure that money keeps flowing upward. We were always told that the powers that be could never change these policies—it would be too expensive, or too unwieldy, or would simply upset the way things are done. But now, faced suddenly with an environment in which we’re all supposed to at least appear to be focused on the common good, the rule-makers have decided it’s OK to suspend them. It’s a crisis, after all. Everyone’s got to do their part.
Another bit of bullshit is that The Zoom Plague put any Bad Seeds plans on hold. The Bad Seeds were over there, in Australia – with its 282’584 cases and 2’182 deaths – while their leader Nick Cave and violinist Warren Ellis were over here, in Brighton, UK – with its… Christ… eleven million eight hundred and ninety one thousand two hundred and ninety two cases and its one hundred and forty eight thousand deaths. Blimey. I got the Aussie figures firs and thought they were quite close to the UK’s, I… didn’t expect that many… Do numbers even go that high??
Anyway, Cave and Ellis, being the stereotypically chipper Aussies as they are, simply said ‘Oi! Oi! Oi!’, bashed two yards of ale together in cheers, downed them both in one and set out making an album anyway. An astonishingly good album. It sounds like the imagined way point between ‘Skeleton Tree’s (comparatively) straight but cursed piano balladeering, and the sheer astonishment of scale that was 2019’s ‘Ghosteen’. The songs are slightly more straight-laced – and could definitely be more easily identified as songs – than ‘Ghosteen’, but the album is still an astonishing trip outside musical norms, and more evidence of Cave and compatriots’ bizarre burst of creativity and inspiration at the age of, what, 92? Alright, I’ll buy Nick Cave being as young as his eighties, maybe, but Warren Ellis?? Come on, that guy must be the oldest person in the World, when he was young the Dead Sa was only feeling a little sick.
I’m here all week.