The Only Socialising You’ll Need
I like to think the 2017 Necessary Evil list has so far catered to a lot of different tastes and requirements:
You’ve had Mark Lenegan , for those who want gravelly voiced ginger reminding them of a time when rock music was really cool; you’ve had Lil Yachty, for those of you who want your hip-hop history disregarded and even defiled on top of saccharine pop beats; Lil Peep, for those of you who just want to soundtrack their own descent into drug-induced senselessness, overwhelmed by life’s cruel meaningless; Arca, for those of you who don’t really want to enjoy the music they listen to rather, have it drill its own importance into their cerebral cortex and splatter its definite artistic statement over the wall behind; and Björk, for the people who… erm… well I still haven’t quite figured out who that album’s for. Perhaps just Björk…
Alvvays’ wonderful album (wonderfully named ‘Antisocialite’, which suggests that the band are aiming to becoming the opposite of whatever it is people like Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian do* and a title that deserves a +10) caters for those among you who just want their music to be expertly crafted and magnetically adorable indie pop, that’s uncomonly sweet and scandalously charming without ever sounding the least bit twee or (God forbid) kooky.
Am I too old to be truly charmed and occasionally very moved by this album? With its tales of unrequited affection and the dismay that comes with realising you will never be quite the right fit for that special someone, who will never ever regard you in anywhere near the same terms? These are all rather immature feelings, aren’t they? ‘Teenage Emotions‘, if you will.
Well, maybe. Like, scientifically. But the sad but true thing is that, even as a (kayfabe) 29 year old adult, I still get occasionally overwhelmed with these feeling of attraction, the idea that I have ‘connected’ with someone on a deeper level, I still develop major crushes. I still feel the butterflies churning up my stomach when I convince myself that I may have found somebody who might be willing to protect my solitude, someone I can be antisocial with. I still get badly hurt when someone doesn’t reciprocate my longings, and it suddenly hits me how insignificant I am in their world and my pining is, actually, unforgivably pathetic. When do these feelings this stop? Hopefully when you reach 35
Ah now, this is a bit unfair, isn’t it? Maybe I just wanted to punish Alvvays for giving me all the feels. The band haven’t lucked out like Lanegan did against Cave, being pitted against an all-time great’s lesser successes: Hey is the Pixies’ best ever song (fight me). Hey by Alvvays is a very, very, very good song, but not even among the best on the album, and in this battle they’ve brought a straw of hay to a haymaker punch out (yeah, that made more sense in my head)
Pixies Win!! -5
‘Antisocialites’ was another album that made me feel the dreaded feeling of
My new (fancier) headphones often picked up the tinniness and weakness that I now associate with MP3 files. If only there were another way?? Stay tuned, kids…
Age of Singer Molly Rankin: 29 (-5)
Album Number: 2 (+6)
Album Length: 32 minutes (+14)
Very Good Songs: 3 (+6)
Brilliant Songs: 6 (+30)
AMAZING Songs: 1 (+10)
% of Album Worthwhile: 100
I mean… that’s quite nice. Isn’t it?
Previous Entries: None
Meta Critic: 77
Number of Women I Have Seriously Fallen for Since I Last Had a Girlfriend: 4 (+100)
*No, no, not that, you fucking reprobates, get your ugly heads out of the gutter!!