39 Esperanza Spalding: Emily’s D+Evolution




I’m just playing, Jazz, you’re alright


A big part of my gimmick is how much I hate jazz, it’s what brings all the fans in and a large part of the reason I make upwards of six thousand pounds each year



In fact, the very first sentence of my entry in Bloomsbery’s ‘Who’s Who’ is ‘On no occasions prod the following influential person too hard as his hatred of jazz is so pronounced that the slightest movement in his physical being may cause a noxious jazz hating fluid to spray out’



I don’t hate it though, of course, as declaring a blanket hatred of any one genre is no less idiotic than declaring a unqualified love of another, and if you say you hate every jazz song you’re obviously seeking to distance yourself from that time you were sexually assaulted by each member of The Count Basie Orchestra in 1984






I will continue to say I do hate jazz, of course, as people who specifically declare themselves to be fans of ‘jazz music’ are some of the most tiresome beings on Earth, and to continue infuriating these wastes of comprehension is a most honourable task






When jazz is used as a vessel in which to transport gloriously labyrinthine and esoteric pop masterpieces such as these, I have no problem with it


There has to be one of His songs called Funk the Fear, doesn’t there??

7 Prince Points


Metacritic: +84

Length: 45 minutes +2

Best Lyric: ‘I am the dragon breathing fire/Beautiful mane, I’m the lion/Beautiful man, I know you’re lying/I am not broken, I’m not crying, I’m not crying’ย  +1

Number of AMAZING songs: 1 (+10)

…But Are All the Rest of the Songs Kinda Amazing Anyway? Yes (+60)

Is the last song just the first track but played on Ukulele? No -1

Total: 278


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