The Necessary Evil Hall of Fame: Gold Star Artists

  • At least three albums
  • All albums featured on the Necessary Evil best of year countdown

I’ve been doing this dumb blog that nobody reads since my first post on the 1st December 2014 called the latest Pixies album an “especially grievous dirty protest”. 2024’s list was the tenth I’ve written in excruciating detail on the blog. The intelligent thing to do would be to call it a day after that. But then again the really intelligent thing to would have been to never start it in the first place. As a stupid person, I’m definitely conflicted. My (recorded) albums of the year go back to 2007. I’m not wanting to put too fine a point on it, nor am I at all pompous enough to ever overexaggerate my importance, but I think it’s fair to say that I am objectively the paramount and most respected voice on music of the last 15 years. And before that too, I just didn’t have a blog then.

But what about the artists themselves? They sometimes play a part in the psychosexual agitprop magic of this blog. We can obviously consider the artists whose work has appeared most in my year end lists, but that’s obviously going to be the Manics (eleven + one very decent JDB solo record and one dreadful Nick Wire one), Prince (eleven, and eventually all 42 of the fuckers) and Nick Cave (I think around eleven, over a variety of projects). Like, duh much? We can all agree without any argument at all that these are the three most important musical artists of all time. It’s like if someone says their favourite food is “crisps”. Like, of course it’s crisps. Crisps are amazing. Everyone loves crisps. But what does that tell you about them as a person?? No, we need a different gage to work out the real stars of Necessary Evil.

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51 Japanese Breakfast: Soft Sounds From Another Planet

Turns Out I’d Probably Prefer it Hard

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This is a really, really, really… really… really lovely album…

As I’ve previously explained, there are two things that you must not under any circumstances do as a musical artist, as either direction quickly leads you down the path of obsolescence, of fan hatred or, more often, both.

  • Firstly, you have to constantly update and evolve your sound. If fans suspect that you’re not making enough progression between albums than you’ll quickly be tossed on the scrapheap as an obvious one trick pony emperor with no clothes*
  • Secondally, you must never change your music or make significant alterartions to the way you sound: people hate change, and if your new record doesn’t sound exactly like your last then your fanbase will feel like it’s been betrayed, you’ll forever be known as the act that used to be good, before they went far too pop/rock/dance/country/gypsy folk/emo/Baby Metal and all the sheeps started liking them. Sure, you can try and recreate the sound of that last LP later in your career, but everyone will see through that as an offensively blatant reach for their approval, and somehow hate you even more, and this record you release will universally decreed as being the lamest album ever!!

To recount: change is essential, but also the worst thing you could possibly do

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57 Japanese Breakfast: Psychopomp

I’m not a particularly interesting person, and being a white, heterosexual male from middle class stock makes me pretty default in Britain, so I often talk about my time in China in order to keep people’s attention

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Well, yes, there’s the disability I have, but that’s healed to the extent that people rarely even bring it up, and if they do, what am I supposed to tell them? The truth? That it was a suicide attempt?? I am governmentally recognised as a ‘Top Lad’ and diverting information like that is sure to kill the bantz. No, just say I had an accident in China and hope the subject changes

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