Necessary Evil 2021 (50 – 41)

50 Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds: B-Sides and Rarities II

(2021 #63, 2020 #1!, 2016 #=6, 2014 #45, 2013 #22, 2008 #12 (with the Bad Seeds) 2010 #11, 2007 #13 (with Grinderman) )

Nick Cave album number two!

Ah, fuck, am I including B-Side collections now?? I guess that shouldn’t be much of an issue, considering that there’s only a tiny, Jeremy Beadle handful of artists I would even considering purchasing a B-Side collection of. Just so you know, Manic Street Preachers‘ last B-Side collection was back in 2003. The Bad Seeds released ‘B-Sides and Rarities’ part one in 2005, so the Manics are already embarrassingly behind schedule. Sort it out, Wire. Although, to be honest, I was all ready to announce that the inherent importance of Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds have lead to them releasing the first B-Sides collection to be featured on Necessary Evil, until I remembered that Carly Rae Jepsen’s 2016 B-Side collection made #31 that year, so there really is no rhyme nor reason to it. Also, the featured image to that blog post is Al Pacino shoving cocaine into his face in Scarface, so let’s not pretend any of us has any idea what’s going on around here.

What a collection though, aye? Ammi right? Ammi right? I’m right. ‘B-Sides and Rarities’ part one was no slouch at all, containing a smattering of wonder that showed how harsh the band’s quality control had been during the first two decades of their existence considering the excellence of some of their cast-offs. It was clear that the bar to entry onto a Bad Seeds album was more stringent and difficult to pass than the best American colleges even if your mother used to be in Desperate Housewives. There were also other bits and bobs that settled debates such as whether Shane MacGowan did the best version of Lucy. He did. Debate over.

Continue reading “Necessary Evil 2021 (50 – 41)”

44 JPEGMAFIA: Veteran

Hmmm, this album presents a bit of a problem for me in respect to me writing any sort of a coherent piece on it. I mean, sure, I haven’t really written a coherent piece yet in 386* blog posts, but this one is, like, far less likely to be coherent than most, yeah?

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(*actual number, fact fans! Maybe the thousandth post is the one where I live stream my suicide? Considering it’s taken me three years to reach 384, it should take me, what, about six more to reach 1000? I’ll be in my forties by that point, and as a result almost definitely praying for death. Only if I get enough readers though. Make sure you all hit subscribe)

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17 Moses Sumney: Aromanticism

Moses Sumney Makes My Nose’s Bum Wee

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Music journalism is such bullshit, isn’t it?

I mean, sure, write an incisive piece of what the success of From Earth With Love unexpectedly meant for the people of Lappeenranta, Finland in 1997. That probably comes close enough to proper journalism for the other writers at your office not to laugh at you and flick bogeys at you when you’re trying to eat your dinner.

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Or maybe just write gushing pieces about how The Rolling Stones used to make 14 year old groupies eat their own faeces while they pissed on them and hi-fived, before pushing the young groupie so hard against the floor that she couldn’t breathe- choking in the mixture of piss, shit and blood from her nose that broke in the collision with the floor- and then all did lines of cocaine off her back. God, there used to be proper rock stars back in the day, didn’t they?? How often do you think frickin’ Twenty One Pilots do that?? The pussies wouldn’t have the stomachs! I mean, that groupie almost definitely didn’t die, did she?

You can only interview bands that you think are great and that we’d enjoy listening to. Perhaps their story will put their music in sufficient context for us to properly appreciate the songs? Don’t interview a band you hate and tell them how shit they are: you are not Lestor Bangs blowing the fucking minds off some sheltered faux superstars, blinded by the shining of the walls of their ivory towers, you’re just a prick who’s really irritating Snow Patrol. These artists are clever enough to understand how life isn’t a zero sum game, they are aware that some people don’t like their music, but they’ve decided to cater to those that do, those that have been throwing money at the band for years, people who had their first wedding dance to Chasing Cars.

Yes, these people are fucking idiots, but part of growing up is recognising that telling idiots that they’re idiots is not an honourable pursuit. However, me telling you that you’re a pathetic edgelord dingus is entirely necessary.

Continue reading “17 Moses Sumney: Aromanticism”

101 Kevin Gates: Isiah

My contacts in the hip hop community

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warn me that ‘Kevin Gates; is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to uninspiring anf unmemorable rap names

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I have been reliably informed that the days of exciting nom de plumes such as Old Dirty Bastard, Tyler the Creator, Slap-de-Wit the Immortal Instigator and Watch My Dicky Leg are over

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‘Nom de plume’ in French literally translates as ‘the name of plumage’, as it is common for Gallic birds to have separate names for when they are fully-feathered, as Napoleon thought it obscene that ‘le disgustient pink merdes’ be attributed the same name when they are all naked and disgusting. For example, a plucked chicken body, the like of which you’re likely to buy in Le Tesco, is called ‘poulet’, while the proper, fully feathered beauty that you’re likely to decapitate to test urban legends down at the local farm is referred to as ‘ooh la la! Les pompe poulet de cheeky cheeky plume plume!’

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My contacts in the hip hop community assure me that I shall really notice the sea change in 2017, where I’ll see new releases by ‘Geoff Turnbull’, ‘Paul Johnson’ and ‘Stuart’. Remember Stuart? Well he’s dedicated four tracks to you on his debut rap album, maybe now you’ll give him the time of day? He knows that he’ll never replace your real Dad, but your Mother loves Stuart very much, and Christmas is going to be a lot easier this year if you at least acknowledge his presence

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Kevin Gates isn’t even his real name! It’s like me releasing my dope debut mixtape as Alexander Furnkwith

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My rap name would be Rhyme Minister. Rhyme Minister Yeah! Rhyme Minister Ho Need Yeah!

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It’ll be a Tony Blair reference, yes, because say what you will about his politics and the blood of half a million people on his hands, he once did that hilarious Catherine Tate bit for Comic Relief, so he’s obviously a top geezer

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See? Not bothered

Perhaps the greatest strength of Mr Gates’s (is it, like, a Bill Gates reference? Because that’s just… just…) debut album proper is how much of a fully realised solo offering: almost completely free of the endless guest spots that can far too often clutter and saturate rap albums, and with every hook and chorus coming exclusively through Gates

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And ‘Isiah’ is a procession of top quality hooks, hooks you could hang Mussolini off,

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hooks you could pester Peter Pan with, a real ‘hard hook story’, it’s an album done very much ‘by the hook’, it’s like the Farrelly Brothers film ‘Hook On You’, or the Happy Mondays song Wrote for Hook…

by hook or by crook….

like when Kurt Angle comes out…

and all the crowd start chanting…

…’you hook’…

…OK, I’m done…

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It’s just a shame that such a singular demonstration of Gates’s indisputable talents couldn’t have perhaps strayed a little from standard well crafted hip-hop, and no matter how fantastic its heights are, the lack of anything unique and unusual can make the record’s already testing length seem to especially drag

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‘She got me like Michael/Jackson, Jordan, it don’t matter to me’. See, that distinction really would matter to me…

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Bollocks… https://twitter.com/jamesknightbad

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 A small but pleasant pronunciation +5

Also, I don’t know why, but I was very impressed by the correct apostrophe usege in the title of Thought I Heard (Bread Winners’ Anthem)

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As further tribute to Prince

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I think points should be awarded for any artistic license taken with spelling (not grammer though, that shit’s biblical!!), so Kevin has to be applauded for Kno One. Is it meant to be ‘know one’, as in ‘I used to know one chap who refused to acknowledge the existence of Macedonia’, or ‘no-one’, as in ‘no-one has ever been to Macedonia, so why are we putting so much trust into so called ‘experts’?’? Either way, it’s equally wrong and so equally right

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‘You the only one that my dick could get hard for/I’m confused, what the fuck you want my heart for?’ That line has to be worth a good

8 Prince Points

Metacritic: +81

Ah, come on now….

Length 63 minutes –17

Best Lyric: ‘Bad motherfucker, God complex/Motivate your ass, call me Malcolm X’ +1

Is the last song just the first track but played on Ukulele? No -1

Total 70

Pics stolen from:

https://intl.target.com/p/kevin-gates-islah/-/A-50489578

https://www.usbornebooksathome.co.uk/catalogue/catalogue.aspx?cat=1&area=ED&subcat=EDD&id=7608

https://www.petful.com/grooming/why-do-cats-lick-each-other/

https://www.shutterstock.com/video/clip-14930800-stock-footage-woman-ticking-off-grocery-list-in-grocery-store.html

https://grayciebay.wordpress.com/2010/09/09/the-journey-of-a-plump-chicken/