Category: Album Reviews

22 slowthai: TYRON

~ Lex Leeson ~ 1 Comment

2019 #76

What do you think your chances are of making it as notable musical artists? Pretty slim, right? What about if you’re not already born into financial success, if you socioeconomic status is closer to the lower 50% than the highest ten, if your Daddy doesn’t know someone else’s Daddy, if you weren’t already on the Disney cocking Channel? Honestly. next to zero. Like, right next to. Absolute zero. Sorry.

Tyron! The drool! The droo…! Eugh, too late, gross…

How about rap music though?? The supposed authentic ‘sound of the street’, where the idea of hustling your way out of economic barriers and the laughable inequalities into which you were born are valued especially high? A genre where being born into prosperity or privilege are looked upon with particular distrust? A music and a way of life that has long been appreciated as the one direction out of poverty for people desperate to find some sort of alternative? What kind of chance does that offer? I mean, seriously? It’s still pretty freaking low, right? It’s not like you’re the one person who had that idea, and many of your peers will be actually really good at what they do and still struggle to achieve the success that you so crave. It’s another longshot, sorry.

Nothing Great About the Rest of This Post

23 Little Simz: Sometimes I Might Be Introvert

~ Lex Leeson ~ 3 Comments

2020 #65, 2019 #4

Naija women, got the melanin dripping

L-O-N-D-O-N, city girl living

In the back, looking like fire, chili pepper

Yoruba girl tougher than imperial leather

Woman

The Necessary Evil Nigerian element expands. Don’t worry though, I’m not just going to talk about my ex-wife again. Seriously though, entry #20, there’s some real good stuff gonna happen there, promise. Don’t forget to like, share and subscribe. Hit that ‘subscribe’ button as hard as you can. All of that, yeah?

Let’s talk about Little fucking Simz though, yeah? This woman is more than a talent, she’s more than merely a star, she’s an absolute presence. It’s what allows her to so easily combine and feature such disparate and unique styles and genres – as she does to her most audacious level yet on ‘Sometimes…’ – and still have them gel together so seamlessly. Track three could be a Barry White-esque excessively orchestrated soul song, track four a relentless trap/grime hybrid, track five a progressive oompah band concept piece, track six an ABBAesque medley, and track seven could be a Simpsonwave thrash metaller produced by Ryan Adams. It wouldn’t matter, they’d all be connected by that voice, that charisma, that God damn presence.

sometimes i might read more

24 MARINA: Ancient Dreams in a Modern Land

~ Lex Leeson ~ 5 Comments

2019 #79, 2015 #37, 2010 #8

Dunka-dada, dunka-dada, dunka-dada, dunka-dada, dunka-dada, dunka-dada:

Dugudda-dugudda-dugudda-dugudda

Whooooo!!

Na, na-na naaaaar! Na-na-ni-n-ni-na!

[‘WHOOOOO’ AUTHOR’S OWN]

Sigh, remember the good old days of this blog? I would have definitely have illustrated that with photos of me singing it shirtless, wouldn’t I? Maybe even make a YouTube video. I’d sing songs shirtless at the drop of a fart back in those days, wouldn’t I? I barely even illustrate my posts with selfies any more, and that used to be near enough all I’d do.

Ancient reads in a more land

25 Shaun Ryder: Visits from Future Technology

~ Lex Leeson ~ 2 Comments

2007 #14 (Happy Mondays)

No, wait…

Nononono, wait one second…

No, honestly, that isn’t a perverted fanart of Darth Vader after he loses his helmet and instead becomes a regular at your local shittiest bar who follows you into the bathrooms in order to try and sell you spice, that’s actually one of the UKs most notable rock stars, and he’s actually released one of the greatest albums of 2021.

call the cops

26 Olivia Rodrigo: SOUR

~ Lex Leeson ~ 4 Comments

I’m so insecure, I think

That I’ll die before I drink

Brutal

Ha! Trust me, Ms Rodrigo, if I died before I first drank, it would have made a lot of people’s lives easier! Your not missing anything, I promise. Have you ever tried Methyl​enedioxy​methamphetamine though? That’s some good stuff, get it down you.

Christ, it’s a minefield trying to search for Olivia Rogrido photos. Like, is she twelve years old in that one?? I’m I accidentally turning this whole post into paedofodder? There’s also a lot of gifs of her doing something like sticking her tongue out but looped, which I’m pretty sure are just weird masturbation fodder for 40 year old men. OK, not many years until I’ll greatly appreciate all that pandering, but right now it’s still officially gross, OK? Jesus, this woman turned eighteen in February of this year, and this is her life now. Listen, maybe just read my Jordana piece and, like, amplify it.

I guessed you moved on really easily

28 Lava La Rue: BUTTER-FLY

~ Lex Leeson ~ 6 Comments

You know that I ain’t blind

I can feel the tension, even when we’re not together

Even when we talk on facetime

Tell me it ain’t wishful thinking

Tell me, girl, I’m not wrong

You know that we more than get along baby

G.O.Y.D

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaw shit. That song… hits… Shit. It’s actually borderline difficult to listen to.

No no no, it’s not difficult because of the phenomenal Lava La Rue, silly! La Rue has absolutely become one of my favourite things in 2021! I love her more than many of my direct family members! I definitely love her more than at least a portion of the people I’ve been married to! In fact, she’s the official winner of the 2021 Necessary Evil One to Watch™ award! Do I have a logo for that? I feel like I should have a logo for that. Hang on a second…

Yes, I know I have beautiful eyes, try saying something original we all don’t already know every now and then, yeah? Lava La Rue now officially has the same accolade awarded to her by Necessary Evil as she did by the Grauniad way back in July 2019. But did that Grauniad award come with such a beautiful logo? No. So sit down, your nonsense didn’t mean shit.

more words to watch (and read)

29 Emeka Ogboh: Beyond the Yellow Haze

~ Lex Leeson ~ 1 Comment

OK, joking time is over, if you for some reason feel the desire to ‘mess about‘, then please restrict your foolishness to one of the other records on this list. ‘Beyond the Yellow Haze’ doesn’t deserve your silliness. This is serious shit right here.

The lack of inclusion of Emeka Ogboh’s transcendent debut record on some of the (inferior) album of the year lists that I’ve seen popping up recently greatly concerns me. I just can’t understand how any self-respecting person (freaking journalists, no less!) who claim to have an above passing interest in music can seriously claim that there are many musical collections released this year that are as innovative, as innovatory as Ogboh’s audio poem aimed at the rapid change and urbanisation of his home town. Yes, ‘his home town’. I’m not going to say what home that town may be in, as I’m working it into a ‘bit’ later. Don’t worry about it, you should know by now to simply trust in my journalistic talent and just sit back, relax, and enjoy the ride as I see where I take you.

Where I’m taking you

30 Jordana: Something to Say to You

~ Lex Leeson ~ 4 Comments

2020 #59 (Jordana), 2021 #56 (with TV Girl)

Jesus, everyone, Jordana was twenty one years old when she released this incredible record back in December 2020 (Making it. Eligible. For this year’s. List. So sick of having to explain how this works), isn’t that just terrifying?

For her, I mean. This isn’t one of those “Whaaaaa! They’re so young and I’ve comparatively failed in life!” takes. Partially because – Jesus fucking Christ – those mournings are so boring. We’ve all failed in life, that’s what connects us so beautifully as people, and even the ones we assume haven’t still think they have, let’s not create divisions by imagining any one of us is making a better go of this shitshow we call existence. Mostly because, seriously, you eventually get to an age where fucking everyone is younger than you (except Caroline Shaw, of course), you stop being such a big baby about the whole thing (“Malala Yousafzai was only fifteen years old when she was shot in the face by Tehrik-i Taliban Pakistan gunmen?! Lucky!! What had I done by that age??”) and instead switch to being in constant mortal dread of your own imminent demise. It’s honestly a cool transition.

I’ve got something more to say to you

31 Manic Street Preachers: The Ultra Vivid Lament

~ Lex Leeson ~ 7 Comments

2020 #9, 2019 #83, 2018 #55, 2014 #1, 2013 #20, 2010 #15, 2009 #2, 2007 #3

Jesus Christ, more Manics?? Their fourteenth album, their ninth appearance on this year end list which has only run for thirteen years itself, I’ve ranked the albums, I’ve ranked the songs, I’ve shamelessly juiced the clicks because – glimpse behind the curtain, between you and me – any Manics post gets roughly ten times the hits of the rest of nonsense I churn out on this Bullshit Blog™, surely there’s nothing left for me to say??

Ha! Fucking idiot, this is the Manic Street freaking Preachers! I’m always going to have stuff to write about! That list of the greatest songs was about 40’000 words, but I’m still planning to go back and edit it, add new facts I’ve learned, new theories I’ve had, new philosophies uncovered. Plus, their new album, ‘The Ultra Vivid Lament’ wasn’t featured in that album ranking, and I’d only heard the marvellous lead single Orwellian when I made my ranking of Manics songs (I had actually planned to finish it before the new album was released but – ha! – no…) so it was the only one to feature. This is all fresh content, my friends!! Hit that ‘subscribe’ button as hard as you can!!

Into the waves of love