OK, so how am I going to approach this? You know I really hate spoiling my own list, so I’d hate to perhaps let it slip during this post that maybe there’s another FKA Twigs album later on this year’s countdown. Maybe! Nothing in this introductory paragraph should be read as any sort of confirmation!! But you also know what a genuine and straight talking man of the people I am, and it simply wouldn’t be in my nature to lie to my wonderful readers that I love so much, and say that a certain album isn’t going to be featured… Or lie and say that it will feature!! Nothing in this introductory paragraph should be read as any sort of confirmation!!! People are calling me the most trusted voice in music. Everyone’s saying it. Sports Illustrated are saying it. I can’t abuse that trust.
I guess, all things considered, I’m probably better off just not mentioning that other album at all. That hypothetical other album I mean!! Nothing in this second paragraph should be read as any sort of confirmation of the existence of any other album!!!! That probably makes the most sense. I mean, it’s not going to be easy, considering that that hypothetical album is named in the title of this one, but hey, let’s give it a go, aye?
Right, so we’re in hypothetical land right now, nothing truly exists and is only ever referenced towards. It’s a closed Schrödinger’s Box of possibilities, only the existence of the very box itself is debatable, and we want to be clear that it only exists for the purpose of a thought experiment and that nothing in this post should be read as any sort of confirmation!!!!! In this space there are known knowns; there are things we know we know, but we also know there are known unknowns; some things we do not know. But be aware that there are also unknown unknowns – the ones we don’t know we don’t know. Is that clear? Exactly! Clear enough to launch an illegal war that will cause more than a million deaths!! Which is clear enough for me!!
So, back in January, there are… many compelling theories… that suggest FKA Twigs released an album. Let’s call that album… ‘Tahliah Tahliah Pants On Fire‘… This album, had it been released, would have been Twigs’ first album since 2022’s ‘mixtape’ ‘CAPRISONGS’, and arguably their first proper album since 2019’s ‘Magdalene‘. It received glowing reviews/was absolutely dunked on/was banned by the government for transing the kids/self-destructed upon play and killed millions/freed the Palestinian people and globalised the Intifada/was greeted with general shrugs upon release (just covering all multiverse of madness possibilities there), but was obviously (hypothetically) a full and complete body of work that contained a number of tracks that many scholars would refer to as ‘songs’. OK, phew, I’m doing well so far!
A new song, Perfectly, was released in July, which was not included on the hypothetical January album. Twigs, in this situation, would have described the new single as a continuation of their previous album: “If [Tahliah Tahliah Pants On Fire’] was the tip of the tongue, Perfectly is the esophagus. I wonder what lays in the belly of the beast”. In this hypothetical circumstance, Twigs didn’t formerly announce the release date for a ‘Tahliah Tahliah Pants On Fire‘ deluxe edition, but stated that Perfectly would be appearing on it. Christ, OK, so hypothetically, Twigs never announced a deluxe edition, but then at the same time released a single that they stated would be on this deluxe edition that they weren’t actually confirming existed. Hypothetically. You’re not making this easy, Twigs. But then, hypothetically, at a Dutch festival in August, let’s do the thought experiment of Twigs announcing that “”I am full and abundant and ready to give birth. Her name is Afterglow, and my labor shall commence next month“. If this were to really happen, those in the crowd who spoke fluent Twigsian would know that they were announcing that, no, there’s gonna be a whole new album coming soon. In fucking September, no less. Hypothetically.
‘EUSEXUA: Afterglow’ finally came out on 14th November. Perfectly isn’t on it.
OK! We’re back to reality, ope, there goes gravity, ope, there goes Twigsy, she choked, she’s so mad but she won’t give up that easy! Now we can just talk about ‘EUSEXUA: Afterglow’, the singular record we have before us and that relates to nothing else that may or may not be on this list.
And it’s a fucking incredible album. Perhaps the context is key here: would I love EUSEXUA: Afterglow’ as much if it was released as Twigs’ first proper album since ‘Magdalene‘? Mmmmmmmmmmmmaybe not, but I feel that it coming out so soon after Twigs had released her proper follow-up – their blockbuster, firing on all cylinders, hyper extended release that felt big enough to carry the weight of expectations that would always come with a new Twigs release – that ‘Afterglow’ feels more relaxed and cool when unburdened with assumptions. It’s a smaller, lighter, album, but one that breathes under the reduced expectations to feel more humanely playful yet also freely spontaneous. If it were THE BIG NEW FKA TWIGS ALBUM perhaps dumb, old, fat white shitehawks like myself would curdle at something so obviously far more aimed at the clubs we’ll never go to and at the house parties we’d never be invited to, but as a companion piece to Twigs already stretching her avant-garde electronica wings out wide it’s an astonishing confirmation that the woman can do motherfucking everything. Similarly, I might even love this album more if I’d just found it in a bargain bin outside Woolworths for £2.99 on cassette tape and was by some Portuguese singer called Formalmente Conhecido Como Galhos. Twigs will never again be able to make an album unburdened by the unavoidable presumptions of being FKA Twigs, but ‘EUSEXUA: Afterglow’ was as close as their likely to get, and they proved how undeniable their talent is.
Hypothetically, I mean. Nothing in this post should be read as any sort of confirmation of the existence of anything!!!!
Yeah, the Fantano/Pitchfork hivemind didn’t like it, so they fucked up the critics’ score a bit. However, the people – my people – went up to 81, the fucking legends!
I’m gonna saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay… yes…?
Necessary Evil 
One thought on “19 FKA Twigs: EUSEXUA Afterglow”