Hold you closer, closer than those damn gloves
Kiss you longer, longer than a opera
If we keep on dancin’, we gon’ make love
Hold you closer, closer than those damn gloves
I don’t need no weed, I don’t need no liquor
I just wanna keep grind-grindin’ on my nigga
Whatever’s on his leg, good God, it’s gettin’ thicker
It’s gettin’ thicker
Whatever happened to shame? Remember when people had shame? I miss that. We need to bring shame back ASAP. Hey, you know that depraved, ugly thought that you have in your head? Keep it there. The whole world doesn’t need to know about your perversions. Nobody needs to know. Maybe your therapist, but otherwise you should be rightly overwhelmingly ashamed of these dark, sexual thoughts inside your mind.
Remember when you met people in person? Remember when there was a place to go that wasn’t home or work? Remember what it was like when you had, like, four people together, talking face to face? Imagine if one of the people you were with looked you dead in the eye, did not even blink as they took one last sip from their pint, and then loudly and proudly that they believed that all men should want to impregnate 12-14 year old girls because that’s when they’re most fertile. That just wouldn’t happen. Every person would be too ashamed to air these horrendous intrusive thoughts in public, even among friends. And yet @not_reece_brah is confident airing these insane perversions to more than fifty thousand people. Plus it’s on this blog now, so you can add another six or seven people to that.
Imagine if you like video games. Chances are, if you’re under maybe 50 years old, you do. Video games are quite popular these days. I like video games. Really enjoying Satisfactory at the moment. In fact, if I didn’t have to write this dumb list that nobody reads, I’d be playing that game right now. So thanks for that. But imagine that the way you enjoy video games is… different… Imagine if, firstly, the most important thing is that none of the characters are in any way LGBT aligned. Not even NPCs or background characters, if anything in or about the game is mildly non heteronormative, then the game is WOKE and unplayable. OK. If this is so important to you then you’re really weird and should be deeply ashamed. You realise you’re saying this stuff in public, right? Everyone can see this? Are you not a bit ashamed?? Again, those four people meeting together face to face, another person chimes up just to casually report that they’ve made a list of whether games are recommended based on how ‘woke’ they are. Imagine them looking in you straight in the eyes and explaining that with no shame:
“Mafia III? Nah. It features multiple improbable female authority figures, one of whom is a lesbian. A lesbian! That’s woke.
The Lord of the Rings: Return to Moria? Naaaaah! You’re allowed to create lore-inaccurate, dark-skinned and/or beardless dwarves. I’m not a racist! That’s just lore-inaccuate! Being lore-inaccurate is woke.
Spider Man: Miles Morales?? Way too woke! The Person of Colour main character overshadows Peter Parker, who is white and therefore scientifically better. I’m not racist! I said ‘person of colour’. Not ‘golliwog’.
Dave the Diver?? Dude, Dave the Diver is a fat guy who can somehow deep-dive and swim long distances without trouble.?! Woke! Oh, and also the sushi chef is black”.
Saying this directly to your face, with no shame??
In the real world, such intrusive thoughts would never be broadcast, as the person would know that everyone else at the table would quite rightly shame them into silence, likely never talking to them again. But what if this person has no shame? What if they kept on cooking? What if they were buoyed by this lack of shame to start talking about how female characters in games aren’t as easy to wank to these day? What if they said, out loud, “For the past 13 years, the video game industry has been under assault by woke interlopers and ideologues… In their wake, the video game industry was forever changed to reflect the sensibilities of the mentally ill, feminists, homosexuals, queers, wokesters, and other perverts”? Everyone would say, sorry mate, what the fuck are you talking about again? And they’d say “Oh, sorry, I was talking about the defeminisation and uglification of women in video games“. Of course, you’re still really confused by what they mean, as you’d previously quite happily played Psychonauts 2 (“Your boss is a Woman of Colour whose backstory is she was treated unfairly by a white guy. Woke! I’m not racist, I called her a ‘woman of colour’. Not ‘jiggaboo'”) without ever feeling the need to whip your dick out and furiously choke it to Razputin Aquato. This person asks you to sign their petition to make the outfits in Stellar Blade more skimpy. Wait, so mate, this is, like, the most important thing in the world for you?? This is what you’re dedicating all of your time and energy towards?? The person doesn’t hear you, they’re too busy presenting their flow chart of what makes a video game playable:
Everyone would stop talking to this person. Forever. They would be shunned from society. They would lose their job, home, friends. They would be left wandering the streets complaining about how hard it is to choke the chicken to Ciri in the Witcher 4 promotional video. Their trousers round their ankles, their face covered in shit, gathering round an open fire under a motorway underpass after society refused to allow them to make the whole world into their own personal goon cave. Which is how it should be.
I see you been wearing loafers
Stopped inviting other niggas over
Ooh, I’m so proud
Look at you tryna settle down
Tossed your blankets, got a duvet
Ooh, you’re bougie now
Can I meet your baby?
Can I meet your baby?
How fine is he?
On a scale of one to ten
How fine is he? Oh
How fine is he? Oh
How fine is he? Oh
(On a scale) Of one to ten
One to ten, one to ten
serpentwithfeet is off the charts woke: he’s black – which is way too political – and gay – which is forcing diversity and politics into everything – though luckily he’s pretty hot so you’d totally be able to burp your worm over him, so he might be allowed. But serpentwithfeet absolutely has nothing to be ashamed of. Their third album ‘GRIP’ is yet another musical left turn, eschewing the soft and vulnerable love paeans of ‘DEACON’ for some hot and squelchy sex having! And this admirably concise 29 minutes (which beats my record by a good half an hour*) of very 90’s RnB infused sex jams, which you could compare musically to several artists that you’re no longer allowed to mention**. Can I namedrop Genuine and Maxwell? I think they’re both safe…
(*yeah, my record is minus one minute. I’m spaffing into my pants before you even get to my door. I’m generally posting minus five to minus ten minute numbers, but there was that one time in ’05 that I managed to hold out until my top button was undone. If you’re reading this, Paul, just want to make clear I only lasted so long because you’re really ugly, OK?
**R Kelly, Gary Glitter, Chuck Berry and Charles Manson are all over this album!)
It’s an incredible work, absolutely dripping (y’know? Like cum) with high quality pop jams and passionate, rightfully unashamed lust. Josiah Wise remains one of the most interesting and exploratory voices in music, whose hit rate of creating worthwhile and significant projects is almost unmatched.
And, mate, you can’t wank over Ciri from the Witcher?? That’s a skill issue, when I was a teenager I could shuck my corn to Tony the fucking Tiger if circumstances were tight. I’m questioning whether you want it enough, dude…
Oh! What’s that?? Three studio albums, all featured on Necessary Evil??
Welcome to the executive tier, pal.
Album Art as AI Image
I’m ashamed after posting that picture.
Necessary Evil 
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