Ah shit, ma dudes, I won’t be able to argue my way out of this one. This is definitely emo.
And this isn’t just emo, it’s a concept album about the meaning of death itself. Ma dudes, have I just named ‘The Black Parade’ as the seventh best album of 2022?
And hooray for me! I just became the one millionth writer to make that comparison! Because My Chemical Romance are the only emo band that anyone’s ever heard of, and we all think ‘The Black Parade’ was a concept album? Was it? Probably! My prize is some peroxide for my hair and one of those Black Parade Funko Pops because – oh shit! – they exist!
Have you ever considered how if you catch a MCR fan, forcibly rip off their black and white military jacket, die it yellow and red before handing it back? Boom. You’ve got yourself a Libertines fan. Crazy how possibly the most disparate sections of insufferable early 00s middle class white boys can be so similar beneath it all. Sorry, I’m being a bit glib there, I do actually think that MCR fans were a proper mix of insufferable early 00s middle class white boys and insufferable early 00s middle class white girls. Wake her up when September ends. They did that, right? I will, however die on the hill that no woman, non binary, or any gender apart from sweaty white male (yes, that’s a gender, please keep up) ever liked The Libertines. Or at least if they did at the time are now in intense therapy to try and battle the trauma of.
Anyway, I know what you’re thinking “It’s a shame that it only works one way, The Libertines are really going to gobble up My Chemical Romances’ fanbase”, to which I reply: great news, it not only works the other way round, it’s probably even easier! I’ll show you how you can practice at home. First, buy yourself a Libertines jacket to work on.
Ah, that one on the left looks perfect. Now, you need a lot of bleach and ammonium chloride, and… what the fuck is that??
“Inspired by Tokyo Revengers”?? That seems more “inspired by the end of the thousand year reich”. I can just buy this now for £27?? What the hell is ‘Tokyo Revengers’?? Some sort of YouTube? A Nintendog?
OK, so I did some further research (I Googled ‘tokyo avengers swastika’ rather than just ‘tokyo avengers’. When you’re a journalist like me you can’t be afraid to delve a little deeper to catch the bigger story) and it turns out that I’m a little late to this controversy. Or was aware of it at the time and then decided to forget it, as there are no longterm benefits to remembering stories of Manga controversies. Two thing to consider: firstly, no, it’s not a swastika, it’s the other one. An old Buddhist symbol called a manji. But I don’t think people outside Japan can be blamed for not appreciating the slight difference in the symbol (quick question: you’ve seen the Statue of Liberty a million times. Which hand is she holding the torch in?) from one of the most reviled in history. Like, things aren’t almost swastikas, are they? If they kinda look like a Swastika, it’s usually back to the drawing board. Secondly, Japan are kinda chill with the Nazi vibe. They fought alongside the Nazis, committed (at least) comparable human atrocities, most of their far right leaders got off scot-free, and their war criminals are treated as heroes. The Nazis were the good guys in Japan.
And so ends my essay on postwar revisionism in Japan.
Shit! Prince Daddy and the Hyena!
Yeah, this album is an absolute marvel, combining brutish low fidelity garage gut busters with intense and epic high concept art, all with a grasp of melody and song structure that feels positively Hotelieresque at times. Outstanding from a band who once released an EP called ‘Now That’s What I Call Music vol. 420’.
Hwy guys, you hear Musk is looking for a new Twitter CEO? I feel like he’s really appreciate your sense of humour/
Oh, and to answer the Statue of Liberty puzzler: trick question, nobody actually knows. Have you seen the size of that thing?? Ain’t nobody tall enough to just casually have a peek at her arm placement! Bet you feel stupid now.