Frankie valet: An Apology


Remember a while back when I reviewed the new Frankie valet album? Of course you do, it was the highlight of your year so far and the reason your told your therapist that February was ‘Less ghastly than usual’. Well, I really struggle with new album reviews, because they’re usually written after only living with the album for a few days and having only listened to it a dozen times or so. I’m a big believer in puny humans have little capacity to truly appreciate art until they have lived with it for a decent amount of time. Initially, you can tell if an album’s decent or if an album’s horrendous or if an album needs more time. They’re really the only three valid responses to an album until you’ve listened to it at least three digit level (TDL). Back in February, I knew ‘Waterfowl’ was a ruddy good album– I awarded it the coveted four waterfowls out of five award, which literally no other album has ever earned- but I didn’t yet have the emotional capacity to properly judge how well the album would flood my veins.

So this is an apology, because ‘Waterfowl’ is a fucking amazing album. It contains some of the most accomplished yet singular and dynamic rock songwriting you’re likely to hear in 2020. It deserves four and a half waterfowls. Maybe even five. If, for whatever reason, you’re not able to leave your house for long stretches this Spring, you could do a lot worse. It’s a record that deserves to be lost in.

In fact, fuck it, take this opportunity to discover one of the millions of amazing acts out there, acts that are guaranteed to appreciate your support for the amazing art that they’re making. Artists that, for whatever reason, may have recently lost the ability to take their wonderful music on the road and so have lost important revenue streams. Show love to Banoffe or Katie Gately or Wednesday or C.O.W. 牛 or loji or Louis Holding or The Age or Boy Romeo or Pink Ranger or Noa James or… fuck! Just discover something yourself! There’s so much amazing music out there right now. It may not be spoonfed to you like it was in the 90s, but you could really help a properly independant artist forge a legitimate career making the art they love!

Shit… this went a bit off topic… Sorry again, Frankie valet…


Oh! And the new Don’t do it, Neil song is an absolute beast! Buy that too, you cheap cunts.

Love you!

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