=6 Jenny Hval: Blood Bitch


Women are gross, aren’t they?


I learned this week- from a mate who’s got a cousin whose mate swears he saw an internet video of it- that girls can actually bleed out of their noo-noo when the mood takes them!


Daniel- who’s the mate who has a cousin who has a mate who reckons he’s actually seen it– says that they can only do it when the moon’s full, or summat. Fucking weird


And yet still you have the existence of ‘menstrala’, crazy chicks actually making art out of their disgusting habit, like it’s something to be proud of!!



I mean, we dudes bleed out of out penises 24 hours a day- don’t we lads?- and we don’t make a big song and dance out of it!



Quick aside: whenever your in a group containing at least one man, as soon as the topic of menstruation comes up some lad will make the quip that you should ‘never trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn’t die’, and smile smugly like he invented the fucking joke



These people are actually legally defined by the Geneva convention as the worst people in the world, and dispatching of them is actually decriminalised



I’ve actually murdered four of these people, and the worst I’ve got is 120 hours community service because I screamed in agony at human beings’ lack of originality while killing one and was adjudged to be disturbing the peace of the Toys R Us in the Stockport Peel Centre





I can’t overstate how much I love ‘Blood Bitch’


jenny hval

It’s an unashamedly avant garde and often intentionally inaccessible and uncommercial piece, art that’s unafraid of misguided accusations of pretension, but also ocassionally sprouts out a pop gem from the frantic and animalistically barbarism





It sounds like no other music on Earth- and is barely music at points- but manages to exquisitely combine insane disorder into a beautiful record that remains startlingly listenable despite its apparent obscurity





You might have noticed that this is in joint sixth place- an historic first for the Necessary Evil list- because, despite staying up all night crunching the numbers, I simply couldn’t decide whether this or the following album was better



While we’re here: is it written as ‘=6’ or ‘6=’? Please let me know



It’s actually very similar to the next album


, as they both deal in uncompromising experimentation that occasionally throws up a banger. Hval is definitely more experimental and shocking, but the next album probably has the better tunes




See? Inseparable. Both amazing though…

I’m having trouble ending these reviews…



Metacritic: +84

Length: 36 minutes +10

Best Lyric: ‘Dear moon, we blame you for floods/For the flush of blood/For men who are also wolves/We blame for the night for the dark, for the ghosts’ +1

Number of AMAZING songs: 2 (+20)

…But Are All the Rest of the Songs Kinda Amazing Anyway? Consistent genius +200

Is the last song just the first track but played on Ukulele? No -1

Total: 670


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