I’ve been hard on guitars so far, I know

-1

And with good reason, as chugging along with guitars has become the absolutely standard form of music, and has been for some time, and should therefore be stringently avoided at all costs unless you truly believe you’re going to be doing something spectacular with it

-3

Plus, you might end up sounding like Led Zeppelin, which is an unqualified sin

-1

Black Mountain and DIIV have tried so far, but their guitar chugging only sounds like unwarranted devotion to their own nostalgia, and fails to move the sound forward

-2

However, ‘Pretty Years’ proves that

 

Yeah, I introduce that joke in my Skepta review, so now I’ve moved that album higher up the list the reference is a little bemusing, I’ll admit

Cymbals Eat Guitars (fucking brilliant name +5) prove that guitar music is like heterosexuality: extremely dull and mediocre as it is, but capable of great fun if utilised correctly

+4

My third wife Gertrude, she didn’t utilise heterosexuality correctly. Like, she got heterosexuality really wrong, y’know?

-2

Am I straight or gay?

7 Prince Points

And the band definitely rock hard enough to win a further

8 Guns ‘n’ Roses

‘Pretty Years’ is an absolute blast, pop/rock perfection and never less than an utter joy

+8

Metacritic: +80

Length: 41 minutes +5

Number of AMAZING songs: 0 But, like:

Is The Whole Album Just Consistently Awesome? Yes! (+20)

Is the last song just the first track but played on Ukulele? No -1

Total 129

https://cymbalseatguitars.bandcamp.com/