As Churchill once said: “Never has so much work been done to achieve something so pointless for the benefit of so few”
But it has been done, alright? So either grin and bear it or afford it the complete ignorance it properly deserves. The largely narcissistic celebration of how much cooler/unemployable than you I truly believe I am by virtue of how many albums I’ve managed to listen to in 12 months roles on for another year. There has actually been a rather ridiculous amount of great albums released this year (December 2014- November 2015) so to pick the order that number 2 onwards (backwards??) appeared it was a rather challenging task. The best album of the year was blindingly obvious though, to the extent that if I see any end of year list now that isn’t topped by that particular masterpiece then I can only assume it’s an elaborate and particularly mean-spirited joke cooked up by heathen ignoramuses.
Waaah! There’s sixty one of the bastards yet that one album I liked from this year isn’t even mentioned! What gives?! Well, to put it as delicately as possible, it’s because that album’s fucking shit and you’re obviously an idiot for liking it.
Why the fuck is it sixty one anyway? That seems like a bizarrely arbitrary number to pick, is it a prime or some shit? Sigh, my list was basically fucked up by bastard artists releasing albums in November like fucking idiots. In fact, right now I still haven’t heard the Adele album (10 days before the deadline Ms. Adkins, you’re cutting it really tight) but I’ve reserved a place for it because I fancy writing about it. Could be bottom, who knows?
Wasn’t this nonsense called something different last year? The awards have been renamed the ‘Necessary Evil’ this year, partly because calling them ‘The Palmers’ was almost unbearably naff, and partly because I’m generally curious how many different erroneous spellings of ‘necessary’ I manage to plough through (spelled it was three Ss just now).
Sigh, here we go…