Aaaaaaaaaaaaaw sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeet!
There were only 121 of these bastards last year!! Extraordinarily poor planning on my part. There’s a lot of work to do, so I am not going to spend a lot of time on this intro. I will just say though… This list was named after a Sasha Banks catchphrase in WWE, and now she’s left that company… can I just have it?? Is it 100% mine now??
Anyway: Ladies, gentlemen, and everyone else: 2022’s 154 best songs.
YOU KNOW IT’S ALL ABOUT THAT…
Hey, I made you a mixtape
Ride the Dragon
(Work hard, get my body-body weak)
Because when I feel you, I feel me
(Love play called hide and seek)
And when I feel me, it feels good
(That’s why I’ve been standing in the bright lights, for you)
(You wanna get a bit of my mystique-stique?)
I’m still that mysterious bitch
(Play ooh-là-là, très chic)
‘Cause no one does it like I do
(Gets lonely in a studio week)
I keep it moving, keep on dancing
(Think about you all week)
For you
Oh my fuckin God. Don’t you just love that for her? Yes, Twigs, fucking yes. You slay, babe, you slay.
I think it’s fair to say that Ms Twigs has had a lot to deal with in the last few years. There was her struggles with fibroid tumours, and the “fruit bowl of pain” the experience necessitated. Formally a rather reserved an private artist who was extremely cautious with how much of her personal life she revealed to the press, her honest and unashamed opening up about her medical struggles was amazing brave. And, yes, dumb fat knacker males such as myself weren’t even previously aware of the condition, so her honesty and openness was important.
Throw it in the fire, Ego in the fire
Ah, old dependable Arcade Fire! I can always count on including them in the year end list with no controversy! Their sixth album is a miner return to form – not really coming close to equaling their imperial phase of their first four albums, but certainly superior to their messy and unfocused fifth ‘Everything Now’. There are real moments of stirring beauty, as the band lean into their real status as the stadium rock band that it’s not embarrassing to admit you like. Like, never embarrassing. Up to around the 27th August 2022, this statement is watertight. To me, they’re the 21st century New Order, in that their fantastic music is almost always enough to cover up for their frequently awful lyrics (“But some people want the rock without the roll/But we all know, there’s no God without soul“, uuuuuurgh, “We unsubscribe/Fuck season five“, uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurgh!). ‘We’ is a tight, anthemic effort, which might consider pleasing the crowd more important than making any real creative strides, but nonetheless crowd pleases enough to let its lack of ambition slide.
Now, as longtime readers (hi Mum! I told you to stop reading, I just can’t have that boring conversation about so called “Disturbing psychosexual imagery” with you yet another time) will no doubt already have noticed, I’m something of a literary genius. Not fully appreciated in my time, no, but neither was Vincent van Gogh. Also, I’m not going around simping over prostitutes so hard that I send them parts of my body that I’ve sliced off. That is so cringe. proper beta behavior, whereas I am obviously an alpha chad. I have lots of the sex and talk to loads of women. Like, all the time.
Anyway, yes, I am a literary genius, and what I’ve done on this year’s list – one hundred percent intentionally!! – is design it so two things that I’ve already been discussing this year finally come together and interweave on my post concerning the second album from Philadelphia ‘punk’ band Riverby.
DO GO ON, BLESS US WITH YOUR INCREDIBLE INTELLECT
Necessary Evil 