Tag: keith richards

The Best Albums of the Tennies (kind of…) Part Two

~ Lex Leeson ~ 8 Comments

Y’know what? This really didn’t need to be a two parter. Sure, Part One spilled over 4’000 words, but’s that’s just because Arctic Monkey’s shameful behavior presented me with the chance to go off on a wrestling tangent, and that’s a guaranteed extra twenty five hundred words right there. I reckon I’ll bang through the rest of these in around 2’000 words, as I’m almost certain The Sport of Kings is unlikely to make an appearance. 6’000 words is a not at all ridiculous length for an entry. My ‘50 Song Memoir‘ entry was, if memory serves, 7,296,586 words, and that’s one of my most popular posts of all time. You. Whores. Love. Length.

Smash

But, twice the content, yeah? Twice the clicks, twice the sweet, sweet advertising dollar. I mean… technically, yeah… Double zero is still zero, maths fans. Could be worse, I could be giving each entry it’s own individual page and forcing you to click ‘next’ each time, like those fucking awful lists you see on the internet, like… like… well, like this dumb blog that nobody reads every year end, I suppose. We’ve got some motherfucking stonkers coming up, mind, so ready your tiny minds to be blown like you were the window cleaner’s penis and this list was your mum (oooooooooooooooh!!). This pointless intro only exists because I hate the entries being scissored by a page break. Besides, I couldn’t let you know what no.5 is before I’ve got your delicious clicks. Clickety-click!

Continue reading “The Best Albums of the Tennies (kind of…) Part Two” →

48: Keith Richards: Crosseyed Heart

~ Lex Leeson ~ 1 Comment

Keith Richards is a grand old fool. He’s a stupid, egotistical, blustering crap bucket of self-importance who keeps being convinced of his own importance by fawning fans and embarrassing rock critics queuing up to perform endless acts of fellatio upon him.

‘Oh, but he’s so cool! He took so many drugs and is still alive!’

Do you know why? He’s not this magical shaman of true rock & roll spirit, he’s just very rich and so can afford to be alive. He once made made quite good records decades ago that your parents had sex to and now is smugly living off the tax-evading proceeds, any respect for Keith Richards is no better than George Osborne levels of wealth deference. He has as much relevance in 2015 as that debate over who is the sexiest member of the Romanov royal family and we should treat his nonsense like ‘rap is for tone-deaf people‘ with the same importance we reserve for that drunk old guy at the bus shelter who pisses on your shoe. However: parts of this album are rather magnificent, while it’s hardly anything new and could have been released in 1964 there’s still some radio rock pop of the absolute highest standard, just make sure you skip the track whenever Keith tries his hand at some other genre like blues or (my God!) cod-reggae.

‘Fun’ Fact: Mr Richards once sent Tony Blair a letter in support of the Iraq War, instructing the then Prime Minister to ‘keep on rocking’. Seriously, the man’s a massive fucking tool

I’ve not got a lot of time buddy, just give me a quick blast of Keef If you ever spell Keith with an ‘F’ again we are no longer talking. ‘Illusion‘ is rather lovely

Album Link