#2 Tyler, The Creator: CHROMAKOPIA

See, I’m a Westside nigga from the zone (What’s goin’ on, nigga?)
Knock, knock, knock, knock, knockin’ at the door (I’m knockin’ at the door)
I keep them mink-minks on hip ’cause I keloid my fists (Mm)
Nigga, give a fuck ’bout pronouns, I’m that nigga and that bitch

Sticky

Aw, mate, this album is so fucking good. It literally hurts my soul to have it as low as second. And you all know what’s first now, don’t you? Yeah. I tried so hard to be different from the Normies but some things are just undeniable…

First of all, can we just all stand back in wonder at how big a deal Tyler Gregory Okonma is? They might have started out more concerned with working how best to work rape, gore and incest jokes into consistent homophobia, but starting with 2017’s revelatory ‘Scum Fuck Flower Boy‘ they have grown into one of the most dependable and consistent lightly experimental and occasionally avant-garde musicians in the game. Or, as Tyler themselves might put it:

Asia Hussein Ahmed Hamad

#3 070 Shake: Petrichor

20th May 1983, a car bomb in the the South African capital of Pretoria went off. The target was the South African Air Force (SAAF), who were renting a building on Church Street West, where the bomb went off. The bomb killed eleven SAAF personnel, plus the two people who planted the bomb (unintentionally) and six civilians. Two hundred and seventeen people were injured in the attack.

The bomb had been planted by uMkhonto weSizwe (MK), the military wing of the African National Congress (ANC), a political group founded by Nelson Mandela in order to force the end of the racist policies of the South African government. The attack was a response to a cross border raid by the South African army into Lesotho in December 1982, which killed 42 ANC members.

Mohammed Eyad Maher Abu-Leila

Merry Christmas

Just a quick post to, yes, say merry Christmas to the literal less than a dozen readers sad enough to be checking this dumb blog that nobody reads on Christmas Day.

this is where the magic happens

I’m also letting you freaks know that there won’t be any more posts out on Christmas day, Boxing Day, probably not on the 27th, and the 28th is my birthday so what do you fucking want from me?

Doaa Ali Hassan Al-Ghandour

#5 Prince: Around the World in a Day

January 28th 1985 was a shade over seven months since Prince had released one of the greatest selling albums of the year – which would eventually grow to a 25 millioner amongst the best selling albums of all time – ‘Purple Rain‘ – and He had ten nominations at that night’s American Music Awards that He was attending. There was a special buzz around that night’s particular AMAs, part of which revolved around Prince going up against His eternal rival Michael Jackson in several categories. This was a non event though, as Prince won awards for Favorite Pop/Rock Album, Favorite Soul/R&B Album and Favorite Soul/R&B Song for When Doves Cry, while Jackson (moon)walked away with nothing. Anyway, in a series of decisions that history was sure to look kindly on, neither Prince nor Jackson could compete with Lionel Richie, who walked away with six awards including Favorite Soul/R&B Male Artist and Favorite Soul/R&B Male Artist. Prince’s performance of Purple Rain that night – which Billboard would later name as the greatest performance in the awards’ history – would ensure those decisions would look immediately ridiculous.

But the 1985 AMAs were most notable for the fact that, right after the ceremony that night, this absolute royalty of popular recording artists would – rather than spend the night covered in so much gak that their face resembled Elizabeth I and being serviced by heavily narcoticised groupies whom IDs was encouraged not to be checked by the entourage, as would usually be the case for successful music artists in the 80’s – they would all be whisked off to the Hollywood AGM studios to record We Are the World, a song written by Michael Jackson and Lionel Richie and produced by Quincy Jones to benefit ‘USA for Africa‘ (America’s version of Band Aid). It would become the fastest selling single in US history and serve as the climactic singalong at that July’s Live Aid Philadelphia concert.

Prince, though, wasn’t really feeling it.

Ahmed Alaa Abd Al-Majeed Issa

#6 Godspeed You! Black Emperor: “NO TITLE AS OF 21 DECEMBER 2024 45,206 DEAD”

Or ‘”NO​ ​TITLE AS OF 13 FEBRUARY 2024 28​,​340 DEAD“‘ if you want the original title. I was just trying to update it a bit to help them out.

When GY!BE finally settled on that title in February (“NO TITLE= what gestures make sense while tiny bodies fall? what context? what broken melody?“), the Israeli authorities had been causing massive, deliberate forced displacement of Palestinian civilians in Gaza for around four months. Perhaps, knowing that the record would be released in October, GY!BE assumed that the massacre would have surely been brought to a halt by international operations by that point. Perhaps GY!BE named the album that way to ensure a moment in time, a gross period of humanity, was forever notified in the most matter of fact way possible. At their most cynical, the band might have thought that by the time of the album’s October release – close to to the one year anniversary of the Hamas attacks on Israel that set off the bloodshed in response – the international community were doing their best to sweep this tiny little genocidal snafu from everybody’s memories and attempting to rebuild Netanyahu’s image as a cuddly friend to imperialism and the West. They might not have dared to think that the slaughter was still continuing.

Jannat Naji Abd Al-Rahman Abu-Hammad

An Apology to Chappell Roan

Listen, I messed up.

The Rise and Fall of a Midwestern Princess‘ was one of the biggest and most talked about albums of 2024, even if it was originally released back in September 2023 and had songs on it that originally came out in early 2022. I was on it no earlier than The Normies, unfortunately, with their NPR Tiny Desk Concert in early 2024 probably being the first I’d heard of them (and initially, probably intentionally on their part, assuming that they were a man in drag). I was all ready to throw my hands up, admit to how lamely out of touch I was (on occasion!) and include it amongst the best albums of 2024 like I was some lamestream media mark like Time Out. I had initially placed it around 23rd, and it was only when I was planning my next piece after the Danny Brown review and listening to the album again that I realised “Shit, this album’s way better than this!”. I moved it to #15, but then I relistened to it again after writing my Magdalena Bay post that I realised “Shit, this album’s way better than even this!” I finally settled on it being number 6. However, I’m here to tell you that it’s now been removed from the list.

Maria Maher Yahya Al-Sikk

#7 Young Jesus: The Fool

God damn it…

Yeah, I was insanely sick the past couple of days. It started when a toothache started to really make itself very noticeable while I was writing my JPEGMAFIA piece on Thursday. I phoned up the emergency dentist and made an appointment for the next day, for the second time in the past ten days. “But Alex”, I hear you cry, “Why aren’t you registered to a regular dentist? Or why haven’t you even gone to the dentist in the previous decade??”. To which I reply: shut up, mum! Anyway, soon after I made that appointment, my toothache became unbearable. Paracetamols were no good, I’m apparently not supposed to take ibuprofen because of my ulcerative colitis, so I was running out of options. Until I remembered that I used to be prescribed codeine! I rooted through all my old medications until I found a pack, and then munched down about a thousand of them! This kinda sorted out my toothache, but at the same time fucked me over in every other sense. The next day, I could barely get out of bed, cancelled my Chinese class in the morning, and honestly tried to write this fucking post, but my head felt like all my brain synapses had been placed inside an oil drum that had been violently kicked off the top of the K2. The effort it took to exist yesterday was already unbearable, never mind write this dumb list that nobody reads.

Which is a shame, considering that this is the only album on the list so far that actually has a song on it written about me. No, honestly, it does. Yeah, I know that sounds crazy, but it’s not, don’t put in the paper that I got crazy.

Hala Yasser Hamed Al-Sinnwa

#8 JPEGMAFIA: I LAY DOWN MY LIFE FOR YOU

Ebrahim Raisi in the heli’, feelin’ foggy
Money, money, money, it made me feel like I’m targeted
Blowing up like I’m IDF, Netty warrants ain’t stoppin’ shit
Is you Harvey, Jeffrey, R. Kelly, or is you opposite?
Say that shit, say that shit
Say that shit, say that shit

Exmilitary

Despite the arrest warrants, the IDF is likely to keep getting away with its atrocious horrors while they still have support of the world’s most powerful people, similar to Harvey Weinstein, Jeffery Epstein and R Kelly. Maybe that should be the last word on the Gaza Genocide?

Except it obviously isn’t going to be – wait until you see what album is in 5th place!

Nisreen Mohammed Mohammed Al-Najjar