Nigga, I told him it’s all mine, no ifs, ands, or buts (oh)
I told my agent I wanna be treated just like a slut (oh)
Pay me directly after (oh)
Close the book with a folded page to keep the chapter (oh)
Told Grandma how much my chain cost, look like I slapped her (oh, mm)
Did a couple roles but in my raps, I’m not an actor (oh)
My B.M. ex a straggler, she happy that I saved her
My mama in a castle (oh), I love her, so we neighbors (yeah)
My sister cook with flavour (mwah), it’s sweet, but didn’t savor (oh)
He had a sack, then wavered (oh), my ex think I’m a player (mm)
My homies think I’m player (mm)
OK, so I’m pretty sure the science behind this list rates this record way higher than anyone else. The year end list aggregator albumoftheyear.org currently has the album ranked on average the 613th best album of 2024, which is obviously ridiculous. It’s currently ranked one place higher than fucking Jelly Roll. Have you ever seen Jelly Roll?? That jabroni is fucking ridiculous. I’m not going to waste time listening to Jelly Roll’s music, if you want mt attention you have to at least meet me halfway by not looking like a massive fucking dumbarse, and Jelly Roll fails that simple first task spectacularly. Also, Jelly Roll, you were imprisoned when you were fucking sixteen years old after being tried as an adult?? That’s fucked up. Not the robbery that you committed – you came from a working class background and were already forced by your environment to sell drugs just to survive so sometimes crime is the only option after social violence is committed on you by the state – it’s fucked up that they were more than happy to literally ruin the entire life of a child for a freaking robbery! That fat motherfucker still can’t even vote because of that!! He wasn’t even allowed to get a passport or “travel intentionally”* until he got super rich! Sure, he was jailed again in his 20’s, but after compelling someone to jail when they’re a child you’re ensuring they’re stuck in a cycle of poverty and crime that just guarantees a life behind bars! Hey, Jelly Roll, you fucking piece of shit, why don’t you write about that!
Actually, maybe he does, I literally have no idea. Maybe I should actually listen to him…? Nah. He looks so dumb.
(*Jelly Roll once rolled out of bed, accidentally hit an incline, and just kept rolling until he got all the way to Panama. That was cool though, as the state recognised that travel was entirely unintentional)
That album of the year aggregate ranking only goes as far down as 692 (Katy Perry, naturally) by the BTW! So this record is toward the bottom of the list! So is Jelly Roll at least, which is good because fuck that guy, but it’s otherwise quite embarrassing for other people when their subjective opinion differs so widely from the objective, scientific fact that this is the 12th best album of the year.
Because ‘Bad Cameo’ is an astonishing record. The teaming up of the Enfield born synthesised crooner who managed to revolutionise dubstep into aching/grumpy mood music and the Atlanta centred SoundCloud rap pioneer with a penchant for both chiptune vocals and incest jokes, might at first seem unlikely, but it actually isn’t that insane. They’re both electronic music (sort of, in Yachty’s case) pioneers who are (sort of, in Blake’s case) young lightning rods for controversies within their respective genres. People were once very dismissive of James Blake’s derisory attitude towards other dubstep, and Lil Yachty… Christ, where do you start? Yachty went through a stage in the mid 2010’s of literally putting their foot in their mouth every time they opened it, to the extent that they would have saved time by just sucking on their metatarsals at all time. Over the past few years, Blake has somehow become one of the most desired names in hip-hop production, while Yachty’s recent album saw them experiment more with psychedelic soundscapes and genre hopping. Perhaps they just passed each other’s paths in the middle? Maybe the record’s cover captures that exact moment? Blake with their tea and full fried breakfast (because they’re English) and Yachty with his lean (because he’s a rapper).
The result isn’t quite a full melting pot, meeting of minds, sonically: this is far more a James Blake album with Yachty making sizeable contributions than a full 50/50. But whatever contributions Yachty made have resulted in one of the most gorgeous sounding records that Blake has ever done, and Yachty’s definite career highlight. It’s a woozy, ambient soundscape that, while never troubling the clubs, concocts some of the most gorgeous music you’ll hear this year. I’ve read some reviews that argue the record is far more just a vibe than anything else, which I can kinda understand. But, holy fuck, I love this vibe so much! Yachty’s dynamic drawl intermingles so well with Blake’s dazed and groggy production that it would be a crime were this magic not be further explored in the future.
Oh, and there’s a song on here called Woo, which actually counts a great deal towards the science behind this list and may explain the disparity in rankings
(Lil Yachty)
(James Blake)
Joint worst so far! Proud of the lads.
Album Title as AI Image
Nailed it
Necessary Evil 
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