23 Wednesday: Bleeds

We dated for six years; we were best friends; we watched each other grow up. We had broken up a month ago. I’m poking roadkill with a stick. Making it twitch.

Karly Hartzman in as essay in Vulture 25.10.08

Yeah, all you voyeuristic lovers of Fleetwood Mac style inter-band drama will love how singer Hartzman broke up with guitarist Jake “MJ” Lenderman during the making of this album. I’m not going to write about that, because I don’t know these freaks and I don’t want to speculate on what sordid, perverse shit that these big celebrities are into. Yet, if Jake Lenderman wrote a Tweet ten years ago that I really objected to, I’d probably get a good 2k words complaining about it? I’m difficult to predict, I’ll accept that.

(L-R) Jake Lenderman, Karly Hartzman

Hey, hey, hey! I didn’t post that photo to make a cruel joke! I have never made a cruel joke on this website, and don’t intend to start now! I have never made any joke! I take all of this far too seriously! If you’ve ever found anything on this website amusing, then that was entirely unintended, and what you’re actually doing is laughing at me struggling with my evidentially moribund mental capacity. So, way to be ableist, jerk.

In a bottle spit dip and tell dirty jokes

38 Wednesday: Rat Saw God

Firstly, how fucking pissed much the band be that Netflix did that thing and it was such a big hit? Fucking decimated their SEO.

Secondly, if Jenna Ortega really did quit Scream VII (there are seven of those things now??) in protest over their co-star being axed after their support of Palestine, then good for them. It’s not much, but it’s something.

Thirdly, doesn’t ‘Jenna Ortega’ sound like the name of some fleet-footed Argentinian Boca Juniors winger that Atletico Madrid have shown an interest in signing?

Fourthly, the Argentinian footballer’s first name would obviously be pronounced with a really raspy ‘H’ sound, like ‘Hhhhhhhhhhhhhenna Ortega’.

I ORDERED TWO MORE WINES ‘CAUSE TONIGHT I WANT HIM